Tina:
I'm a grad student in Romance languages and your reasons stated seem sound to me. I agree with them, they are what I hope for my students and what I see in action each and every semester. Helping them discover that the limits to what they are capable of achieving go way further than they realized keeps me in teaching and from burning out on all the grading which I loathe with a passion.
Your professor seems to have had a bad day, took it out on you and broke the number one rule of the teaching profession: no matter how much your personal life stinks, whether today or in general, you do not take it into the classroom with you. So, you know, it's not you who should be crying here.
By the time you get to where he/she is, it's possible he or she has taught enough in certain social areas to have seen the limited success of his or her teaching methods given the despair that reigns through the impoverished social area itself. But: is that a reason to give up hope and lose all optimism? It seems to me that your professor is due a reality check and a review of why he or she got into the teaching profession to begin with. It's his or her moment of crisis of belief, not yours. Stick to your guns.
There are also certain professors, and I have met my share of the assholes both at Penn State U and Cambridge U, UK, who have all been male by the way, who get off on the power trip of humbling a female student publically. After the first time it happened to me at Grad school I took my complaint to the head of the department. Course, it did me little good since he was best buddies with the asshole professor in question, but, despite the old boys netowrk that still rules academia, I believe in standing up for myself when faced with condescending bullshit from any quarter. Do the same. What I have learned after 10 years of off-on academic experience is that you have to advocate for yourself; no-one else is going to do it for you.
In solidarity against bullshit from professsors (not including the lovely Kathryn!) and the infantilization of grad students,
Clare