sad

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CurlyQ

Cathlete
I was diagnosed w/ an ectopic pregnancy at my ultrasound yesterday ;( They gave me metho. to hopefully stop the embryo from growing and be reabsorbed, so I'm sitting here waiting for the process to begin. I'm fairly uncomfortable, I feel a lot of abdominal pressure which I attributed to gas before the ultrasound. There is still a possibility of rupture so I took yesterday and today off from work - although my dr. said I could work if I took it easy, but I'm a personal trainer/ fitness instructor so I have to be demonstrating exercises, moving a lot. Anyone else have experience w/ this? I just wish the process would start so that I can get past it and have some closure.

The u/s tech also informed me that I have a bicornuate uterus (basically it's V shaped, opposed to pear shaped). She didn't go into it because the ectopic news was more important. So, of course I've been doing some online research and now I have a whole other list of worries aside from having an increased likelihood of having another tubal pregnancy.

I know lots of women go on to have healthy pregnancies/babies after things like this but it's hard to think positive right now. I feel like the innocence and happiness that comes w/ being pregnant is gone and that I'll be constantly stressed and worried w/ a future pregnancy.
 
(((((HUGS)))))!!!

I am sorry for what you are going through. I am sending prayers and big hugs your way. I pray that you are strong enough to get through this. I also pray that your next pregnancy will bring you lots of happiness and joy.
 
i too am so very sorry for what you are going thru. i don't think anything can make it more bearable or easier for you and can identify with how you feel like you have lost your innocence with pregnancy. i hope time helps heal things. you are in my thoughts
 
Oh dear, I'm so sorry for your loss and grief.

As for the physical aspect, yes, it is important to get closure and move beyond the physcial so that you can begin to deal with the grief. I pray that this part of your process is quick. I lost my first baby to late miscarriage last year, and I remember how the prolonged bleeding of two months really intensified my grief. (I chose not to do a D & C). But it sounds like your doctor has put you on a quick route to healing, so this is a very good thing as unbearable as the waiting now seems.

As for your concern about future pregnancy, I can only share my story. I am pregnant again (4 1/2 months), and my doctor assures me this one is healthy and here to stay. I refused to believe it until about a week ago, as I was filled with doubt, having been bruised by the past. Before I got pregnant, I worried about how I could ever face pregnancy now that the innocence was gone and I was so tuned into the "realities" of the many things that could go wrong. Well, I got through the first trimester by practicing calm and detachment. Except for the nausea, I went about my normal day not thinking too much about the future, just taking it one day at a time. There was no planning, no dreaming about the baby, etc. In fact, I still feel a little gun shy about that. I am only now starting to give myself permission to do these things. Throughout the first trimester, when I experienced flickers of anxiety, I found this forum very helpful. There are many women on this forum who have had misfortunes with pregnancy and are either trying to get pregant again or trying to get through a pregnancy with minimal anxiety. I think in the future you will find that you are far from alone in this. Yes, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, blighted ovum, etc.--these can certainly rob us of that innocence. But there are ways to cope with the anxiety that women like us will necessarily feel.

For now, though, my heart grieves for you, your baby, and your significant other at this time.
Manmohini
 
I pray for you. I am so sorry.

Please do not give up though. If you need to have additional tests, then go for it.

But please - if you pray for a baby someday, please do not give up.

Take care.




"Life is too short - Be the best you can be every single day of your life!" :)
 
Thanks for sharing your story. I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you. You will be in my prayers. I have been reading a lot about stories of grief and loss during pregnancy to prepare myself for what may happen as I start my pregnancy journey. It is tough to read sad stories, but I feel strengthened by how others have be able to get through tough times like this and I have some hope that if this happens, I will get through. I wish you all the best during this difficult time. There are many great boards out there, particularly addressing conceiving after a loss (one example is babycenter.com) that may offer a place of comfort specific to your situation.

Take care and have faith!

Jen
 
How awful! Please use us for support. One of my friends had an ectoptic pregnancy between her first and second child. 3 months later she became pregnant again and had a healthy girl. Allow yourself to grieve but realize ectoptic pregnancies happen rarely so your next should be fine. And realize, you did nothing wrong.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. I've never had an ectopic pregnancy, but I did have a miscarriage last year and understand your sadness from the loss. I hope your drs can give you some insight into your situation to help you have a healthy pregnancy in the near future.

Lisa
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. I pray you stay strong and get through it quickly.

I'm currently going through a similar situation. I'm about 7 weeks and started to spot. Went in for an u/s and found that it measured about a week behind and no heartbeat. They've said that it's possible my dates are off, but I've been charting so pretty sure of my dates. Dr. said it's too early to tell at this point, so have to wait another week to see what happens and then go in for an u/s.

I'm was feeling hopeful b/c the spotting had stopped, but now I'm starting to get severe cramping. I think I'll lose it this weekend. I m/c last year at this time too, so I was so hopeful for this one. We were told we had male infertiltiy issues and wouldn't be able to get pregnant naturally, so this was really a miracle that we got pregnant this time. Now, it may all be ending again and I'm already 37.

Praying you get through this and stay strong.

Anne
 
Thank you everyone for your kind words of support. I'm feeling better emotionally but I've had some intense physical dicomfort that had me in a bit of a panic last night. I called my Dr. (at 11:30pm! :eek: ) and he talked me down, told me it was normal but to not hesitate to call at any hour w/ any concerns - the team of OB's are just so genuine and really seem to be concerned for my well-being even though I'm sure they deal with these issues often.

DH and I are in the process of buying our first house so the time will pass quickly and we'll hopefully get back on the baby making horse late fall sometime.

Anne, I hope everything works out for you! Just remember that cramping is normal for a lot of women in early pregnancy. Are you having your HCG levels checked every few days?
 
Thanks Curly. Sorry you've had to go through this. No question now, I'm passing a lot of tissue, just like last year. Should be over in a few days. I'll have my HCG checked in 2 weeks to be sure it's down to zero. On to the next cycle...

I think the odds have to be on my side next time. 2 m/c in a row...common on now and the same month a year apart to boot.

Anne
 
I'm so sorry Anne ;( ;( ;( I hope you're feeling better soon. You're right, the odds are in your favor. Take care.

Shannon
 
Aw, Anne, I feel devastated for you. Even though I don't know you, when I heard about you situation a few weeks ago on the forum, I was cheering so hard for success in this pregnancy. I am so sad to hear about your loss again. I will keep you in my prayers.
Manmohini
 
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