Sad... (long)

HipChick

HipChick

Cathlete
I wasn't going to post this but after reading the "elderly pet" thread, I thought maybe I would after all. See, I don't really know any of you & haven't posted enough to create any "real" relationships so I guess I just didn't think it would be appropriate to post something so deeply personal to me & I really wasn't sure anyone would even want to know since none of you really know me either. But I thought maybe it would help & maybe some of you could offer advice, or something. I don't know...

Last Friday night, my DH & I lost our beloved girl, Hippy, after nearly 15 years. I woke up in the middle of the night & found her exactly where we left her when we went to bed. She seemed to go peacefully, in her sleep, but I'm still so sad & crying as I write this. That's her photo; it was taken just last year. She had many typical symptoms of old age but in the last 2 weeks of her brief life, she quit eating & drinking for the most part too. We were already grieving & seriously considering our next step but even though she wouldn't eat (unless I fed her by hand which I did as long as she ate), she didn't seem to be in any pain so we kept putting it off.

My heart is literally aching. We've had her in our lives for for almost as long as we've been together & our home feels so empty now. Anyway, I know I haven't really posted enough for any of you to feel close to me like so many of you are but I guess I just thought it might help to post this & express my grief at a loss so great to me & my DH. She was his "buddy" in her younger years but she was more my companion as she aged. We loved her dearly in all of her life's stages. See, we don't have children so she was like our precious "child".

Gosh, this is hard. So thanks for reading this & sharing my grief. I know many of you have been through it so I thought this might be a good "place" to express my sadness & seek some guidance during this difficult time. I keep having "waves" of emotions. I'll think I'm doing better, like today, & then all of a sudden, I lose it again, like now. I can't even begin to imagine ever getting another doggie. Why is this so hard & when will I start to feel better finally? I guess there are no answers & only time will help or heal. I have always found a lot of inspiration here so maybe I can find some comfort too...

Anyway, thanks again,
Kel
 
((((((((((((KEL))))))))))))) I am so sorry.
Please be comforted knowing that she is in a wonderful place, and in no pain. He will always be with you. Keep your memories close to your heart. Losing a pet, especially ones that are really family members, is never easy. I will keep you and your DH in my thoughts.



Maeghan AKA megadoo


Added pics 12/1/06
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http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=megadoo2&x=15&y=7
 
kel,
i am so sorry for your loss. i know exactly what you are going through as i had to put my pug, gomez, down on oct. 24th. i still get choked up when i think about him and that last peaceful moment before he went to sleep. it was so quiet in the vet's office. i know it is hard right now, but it will get easier with each day that passes. i am tearing up right now just typing this to you. we too are without children so gomez was our baby. don't worry about not feeling like you have posted enough here to really share personal stuff. as you can see, i haven't posted that much here myself so i know how you feel. the people on this forum are very supportive and will welcome you in quickly. there are so many here who are going through this sort of thing and some getting close to that time as well with their pets. allow yourself to grieve as that is so important, and know that your hippy had a wonderful life full of love and happiness. she went peacefully, and loved you till the last seconds. she is still watching over you, and now she is playing like a puppy with gomez and all of the other little ones who were already there. i will be thinking about you and hope it gets easier with each day. thanks for sharing this personal and hard time with us so we can send good thoughts your way.
 
Kel, my golden retriever died in his sleep & while it was painful, it really is the best way for an animal--and a person for that matter--to go. The really hard part is not being prepared for it, unlike the situation I'm in now b/c I've been preparing since the summer.

But I'll echo what I wrote to Carola--you gave Hippy a great life, you loved her, she knew she was loved. Of course it hurts & that hurt will never go away (13 years later & I still miss sweet, loyal Astro), but it'll be less painful as time goes by.

And we are all here for you if you need to commiserate. It's the best thing about this forum.
 
Kel,

Dosen't matter if you know any one here or not. A loss is a loss, and it hurts so aweful. Everyone has a story regardless if it is human or animal, that is so painful. And it helps anyone who can express it in this way.

It takes steps to help with the painful ache in your heart. Time is what you need now to heal your pain. It isn't easy. It never is.

My warm thoughts are with you, and your DH. Please take care of one another.

Janie

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

www.picturetrail.com/janiejoey
 
Kel,

I lost my beloved girl this past June. She was 16 years old. II know your pain and how you feel. Nearly 6 months later I still hurt for her everyday. Not as much maybe but I think there will always be a place in my heart that aches for her. She was like a child to me and she was a HUGE part of my life. Even more so when my son left home 7 years ago. My heart goes out to you and your DH. Take it one day at a time. CRY all you want as holding it in will make things harder. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Terri
 
Oh, Kel, oh my goodness!!! I'm so sorry:( I'm sending lots of hugs and love your way. Please don't be afraid to come and talk to us. I've been wondering about you as you haven't been around much.

Anytime you need us, we're here!
 
(((Kel)))

I'm so sorry! I'm glad you shared, though, that's how relationships get born around here.

Please hang in there. It will get easier.

Marie
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. At least you didn't have to make that final decision. If only my pets would die in their sleep.

Losing a dear pet can really hit you hard. They are with you much more than most people, offer unconditional love, and are in some ways eternel "children."

Sometimes it helps to have some kind of ceremony to say goodbye, and to remember all the good times (and to let yourself cry). It happened such a short time ago, and right now, it's probably hard not to focus on the end of her life, but try to think more of the good times and her good life with you.

I was weepy as can be several years ago when I had to have the "cat love of my life" euthanized. It does get better with time. There will always be a place in your heart for Hippy, but you'll be able to think about her with less sadness as times goes on.

There are actually some web sites to help with grieving the loss of a pet. They may help you.

When you are ready, visit your local shelter (maybe even go volunteer there before you think you are 100% ready, and go there with a non-commital attitude, not with the intention of adopting. Seeing so many loving and lovable dogs who need homes, and realizing that life goes on and that the emptiness in your home leaves spaces for another (or two others?), might help---of course, it will probably make you cry some, but I'd much rather feel than be one of those people who think that pets are 'just animals' and you should 'get over it.'

{{{Kel}}}
 
So sorry about Hippy! My heart goes out to you, I know how devestating the loss of your furry baby can be. I am going through the same emotions right now as you are, we had to put our 10-year-old Labrador down before Thanksgiving.

The most important advise I can give you, give yourself permission to grieve and don't just "stuff" your feelings inside, because some people may say "what's the problem, it was just a dog" (actually happened to me. It is okay to cry and to feel like there is a big hole left behind.

Think about the good times and the fun you had together. You gave Hippy a terrific live, she was loved and cherrished which is much more than a lot of other pets ever experience. She was one lucky dog to have you.

It took me about a week to finally get to the stage that I could talk or even think about my dog without bursting into tears. But I don't think there are any set timelines, everyone handles grief differently. The feelings also varied going from tears to anger about why this had to happen and guilt about all we failed to do while he was alive. For a while all I could think about our dog and it almost felt like betrayal to him, not to think about him anymore.

At some point I realized it isn't a betrayal of him to carry on and enjoy live. I still know that we love him and that will never change. And although he is not a physical presence here anymore, he will live on in our hearts and minds, as I am sure Hippy live on in your heart.

I have also started with my kids working on a Shadow Box, with his pictures, the collar that he wore and a paw print in clay that the vet gave us. It is fun putting it together and remembering the good and fun times with our goofball of a dog.

Just think about the great life you and Hippy have enjoyed together and take it one day at a time.

Hugs,

Carola
 
Kel - I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is so hard. My dogs are full fledged members of my family. My Aussie and I have done search and rescue and whenever a beloved member of our search community passes on, we say that they are waiting by the Rainbow Bridge for us - {{{HUGS}}}:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...
 
I'm so sorry. I have three children and a kitty I rescued several years ago who is as much a part of my family as anyone. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet. Try to take comfort in knowing she went peacefully, in her warm bed, and she knew real love and joy in your companionship.

((HUGS))
 
Kel,
I'm so sorry for the loss of Hippy. It sounds like you gave her a wonderful life, I'm sure she's happy somewhere right now too. You'll never get over her, but it will get easier. Take care,
Brandi
 
Oh, Kel. I wish so much that there was something I could say to make this not hurt so much, but, unfortunately, the more love we recieve, and give back in return, the harder it is to let it go. And who in your life will ever love you as unconditionally as a pet? I know Hippy brought you so much happiness, and though it is painful to think about that now, it will help you later on.

As you have been advised by others, feel this pain, and don't let ANYone belittle it. It does ache. And it will come and go. I remember weeks after our dog, Willie died (like your Hippy, he died in his sleep), I looked over at our front door and my husband's coat had fallen off the coatrack and for just a moment, I forgot, and thought it was Willie lying there. I completely lost it.

Honey, please let us know how you're doing. We know it hurts really, really bad.

<<<<HUGS>>>>>>
 
{{{{{Kel}}}}} I feel your pain. I lost my beloved Jasper this past August. He was only 8 years old. He was born here and when I first held him, he fit in the palm of my hand. It still hurts, but the sharp pain that takes your breath away is fading some. I remember all the joy he brought to my life, how much I loved him, and oh how much he love me. Take comfort in knowing you were the love of Hippy's life.
 
I just wanted to write again before I leave work & thank all of you for your kind & geniune words & thoughts. I did the right thing posting because this helps more than I can say. I want to write more but I guess that's all I can say for now. So thanks again & I'll be back tomorrow to read more & hopefully post more too...

Kel
 
Kel,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know you and your DH are in a lot of pain right now, and there is really nothing anyone else can do to make you feel better. Go ahead and cry all you want. Take time to heal. Eventually your pain will ease. You will never forget Hippy, but you will be able to think of her without such overwhelming sadness. I have no children of my own, and my dogs are my "kids." My first dog, Miss Dusty, died in 1995, and I was devastated. It was probably a month or so before I would even go anywhere because I would just start crying at the drop of a hat. I wanted to tell everybody how sad I was and why. It was a long, slow process but eventually it got better. I had three other dogs at the time and they were of great comfort to me. They seemed to understand. A couple of months later I sat down and wrote a poem about MissDusty, which I will pm to you b/c it is rather long. I hope it helps to know that others can truly empathize with you. Since the loss of Miss Dusty, I have suffered the loss of five other dogs and every one is heartbreaking. Having said that, I would never be without a dog. The reason it is so hard to lose them is the very reason it is so important to us to have them in our lives. Please pass along my condolences to your DH. Take care and don't forget we are here for you. ((((((((((Kel))))))))))

MissL
 
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