Refusing the bottle...someone help..

jenmgo

jenmgo

Cathlete
Hi all
thanks for all the advice so far - im a first time mom and my baby is going on five weeks.
We are doing GREAT breastfeeding - she nurses like a champ, there is no pain for me, and its a nice bonding experience. I have also been pumping and freezing/refridgerating my breast milk (altho prob not as much as i should be!)

I have to return to work :( :( :( and the thought KILLS me. I want SO BADLY to be a stay at home mom and the thought of leaving my baby during my long shift just kills me. Anyway, the time is going to come whether i like it or not. So, we have been trying to get the baby to take my breastmilk in a bottle.

It usually ends in her screaming and crying, bloody murder. She gets all worked up, and when she does try just chokes and gags.

I've tried five or six different bottles, including the breastflow kind that mimics the breast. She took it twice - once with mom, once with my dad..oh and once with my DH but after alot of fussing

So today, he wanted to bottle feed her and siad we HAVE to get her to take it becuase when i work she will need to learn how to take the bottle without me. I know he is right but she HATES it, or at least i think so. Today she screamed and cried and cried for over 30 min. I wanted to take her from him after 10 min (Well actually after the first second she started crying) but he said no she has to learn. So she wailed and screamed for over half an hour and never did take the bottle. i finally took her and nursed her and the second i held her she stopped

What can i do? Any tips? Most of the time she refuses the bottle. I dont want her to starve and be miserable and cry while i have to work. I always thought babies naturally take bottles lol.

ANy one else have this problem? Any tips? It kills me to hear her cry...
 
This probably is a stupid question, but have you checked the flow on your nipples? They may be too fast or too slow. I'm sorry you're going through this. Weening is hard enough I imagine without this. You may want to talk to your lactation consultant at your doc/hospital too.
 
hi stephanie
i have tried a couple different bottles and nipples with no luck
i still plan on breast feeding directly at the breast but i want her to be able to use the bottle to for when someone else has to feed her whenim a work and my boobs are unavailable...but i cant get her to take a bottle...
 
Even very young babies can take milk from small cups. It's more time consuming, but if baby's experience is stressful it will be longer before it's accepted and it may never be accepted. Some babies are very clear about what they prefer. I believe Medela, as well as other companies, make a very small cup with a tiny spout that can be used to feed the baby. You can also use a syringe with a small tube. It's also common for babies to not take a bottle if they know that Mom is around.

How much time do you have before you have to go back to work? If it's more than a couple weeks, back off with the bottle or other methods for a bit. It's a very stressful time for you, your husband and baby, if you got some time just back off and try and relax and let all the stressful emotions ease away before you try again.
 
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I would suggest letting your husband be the only one to feed her for a week or so. He can only offer her the bottle, and trust me, she will not starve. When she's hungry enough, she will take the nipple. She's just on a bottle strike because she knows you're around to give her what she wants. Babies are really quite smart in that way. Once she catches on that she HAS to have the bottle, she'll take it regularly.

Now what I don't know, is if that means she'll refuse the breast after that. So you may be in a catch 22. I don't know anyone, personally, that has had success doing both bottle AND breast. (I only bottle fed DS). It may be different for you.

But for the time being, as long as she knows that if she cries enough, you will give her the breast, I suspect you'll continue to have this problem. Try leaving the room or house completely when it's time for her to eat, and let your DH do it.

Good luck!
 
I have experience with this except my daughter was 6 months old, when I tried giving her a bottle which I think was worse. I also had to return to work. I did it all in one day. I did it on my own, so I could not cave or she would never take the bottle (so I felt). She cried the entire day but eventually about 5:00 pm she caved and drank from a bottle. I so wanted to cave myself not only for her sake but my own I was so engorged. My daughter did nurse also when I got home from work and in the morning time. The first feeding I broke was the night time feeding, so she was not dependent on me for night sleep. Hang in there and be strong; I do think you can do it.
 
Jen, my DD had a hard time taking the bottle too. It took her a long time to take it from ME, whereas she took it much earlier from DH and my MIL. At first DH would take his shirt off and hold her against him with the bottle, then could get by with just using his hand against her cheek. She wanted the feel of skin next to her. Good luck, let us know what happens!:)
 
Congrats on the baby. It always seems my kids take a bottle much easier from others than me. And, it's best if I am totally away from the room, even the house. I think baby can sense that you are there (your voice, your smell) and thus gives the bottle-giver a hard time. So, go for a walk when the baby is fed a bottle. Just get the heck out of the room. She probably can feel your anxiety over the bottle.
 
I'm breastfeeding too, my little one is 2 months. I pump and saved some milk so Dh or my mom, can feed him, on those occasions "going grocery shoping, "working out", etc. Playtex, I have found to work for him, with the drop in liners. I have to confess though, he's only been given the bottle about 4 times :(
One tip : don't wait till she is franticly hunger to offer the bottle. Good Luck.....
 
I have had this problem with my two dds and both ended up with different results. My odd absolutely refused the bottle when she was a baby and would just starve herself until I came home. No matter what bottle or what nipple, she would just flat refuse. My ydd who is 5mos now will take the bottle, but has also refused at times and waited for me. However, I noticed lately she is more willing to take the bottle when I'm at work and I'm hoping she continues to do so. So with that being said, I would just keep offering and if she's hungry enough, she'll take it. I agree with Kristan about being away. If you're there, she'll know and will want you over the bottle. It is quite stressful though and I hope it all works out for you.

Lisa
 
My DD #1 wouldn't take the bottle until she was about 4 months old, but the advice given to me was leave the room while she is being bottlefed. Also, keep giving her regular bottles or she will get outr of the pattern. She has taken the bottle and can do so again. Good luck!
 
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