Re: Discipling others kids....

[gidget1978]

Thought you might like an update:

DH is getting tired of his BIL bull crap. Just in case you missed my post on discipling other peoples kids.Well, I went next door to check out the paint color in their hall way last week, DS started to cry and my BIL decided to take matters into his own hands and tell him that he " can't cry in this house...look at me...look at me...you cannot cry in this house" All while holding on to him and not letting him go. Poor bugger was looking at me crying as if to say "save me" and I just stood their in shock.Keep in mind...he just turned 2! And all their 4 yr old does is cry! I could understand it if the kid were destroying his house or kicking and screaming. It was almost as if he thought "no one else is going to discipline this child, so I will".
Yesterday they were at DD's v-ball game, DS started to wiggle from DH's arms and BIL says " Rylan..settle down" Im soon going to tell him to bend over so I could pull the stick out of his A$$! Who is he to tell MY child to settle down when he is in his fathers arms?! Not only that, DH said that he was amazingly good all day.DH went to say something to him but someone else started talking so he just let it go.
DH said that he is going to have to have talk to him. Also, the other night he went into the garage where DH was deep frying wings, one of the dogs sniffed him and he said " Charlie, F*** off" in a not so nice tone. Same situation, we go to their house, DH is allergic to cats but their cat is in his face. DH would never do that! He kind of just nudges him away!
The sad thing is when it comes to blows, I am going to basically tell him that he can discipline his own kids, but the way I discipline mine is none of his business. If he wanted to discipline kids, then he should have had more. If he doesn't like it, do yourself and us a favor and don't invite us to your house anymore. Everyone will be happy. He is the kind of guy who can't keep his mouth shut! Obviously since this happened the other day, he thinks he as full rein to discipline my child, so there isn't a doubt in my mind that it will happen again.
Like DH said, he is the first to critize everyone in his family..from his mother to his father to his siblings but yet, no one as confronted him to tell him what a jerk he is being and its about time.
Ugh.......
He is gone for a week, Im hoping to get up the nerve to tell my SIL inlaw what is on our minds.
Lori

 

[Timber99]

oooh, tough subject!

Maybe you can think about what you want to say and find a time to say it, either to SIL or BIL. Otherwise, you are going to get madder and madder and at some point, explode. And we all know how well that goes when we are mad about don't think about the words coming out of our mouths! lol! Then again, you may be better at holding your emotions when in that kind of a situation than I am!

Or instead of having a long talk, next time whichever of you or your husband could just quietly say to him "hey, he's two, lighten up. And you know if he is truly misbehaving, you can leave it to me to tell him that."

Nort sure if your BIL has kids by your post, though it seems like he may have at least one, but he coudl be doing it without even realizing or taking something out on the stupid little things that annoy him. I'm totally not making excuses or saying he is right AT ALL but it could be just a bonehead move that he doesn't even realize he is doing.

 

[kathryn]

Your BIL sounds controlling and maybe dealing with some anger issues.
It is definitely NOT his place to discipline your son (at least not in the way he is doing) or to talk to your dog like that ! (It would be another matter if your son was about to touch a hot stove top, and BIL intervened and very sternly told him not to do that and why).

I think a man-to-man talk between your DH and BIL might be the way to go. Though what does his wife do in these cases? I don't see any indication of her presence.

 

[gidget1978]

She didn't really say anything the other day when he disciplined him in front of me, only "he isn't going to like you" I don't know if she said anything to him after or if she forgot.

They got into a huge fight on New Years eve and she told him if he didn't smarten up, then he had to move out. She even told hime "no one likes you" LOL Thats not totally true but I think are all more relaxed when he isn't around. My inlaws don't say anything and I think they just put up with him b/c they like being around their daughter so much.

I think it will end up being a man to man talk, even if I have to be the one to make DH talk to him. He said he was going to have a talk with him on his own though , so I don't think I will have to interven.

 

[Worknprogress]

It kind of sounds that since your BIL "got away with it last week" (only because you were too stunned at the time!) so I agree with you in that he now thinks he has free reign.

Good luck - I think I would lose it in this situation! Your BIL is out of line. I too have a DD that plays volleyball and have to sometimes take my 2 toddlers. They squirm, they get restless, etc. But my husband and I handle it as we see fit. What toddler wouldn't get restless at a volleyball game?

Just my opinion, but you probably need to say something. Obviously, since he is family, it needs to be tactful. But you need to nip this in the bud.