Quick...HELP!

[lorihart]

I need some fast answers b/c I am about to reply to an e-mail.
Here is the story:
I have a child from a previous relationship. I have since this marreid and so had my ex. I met my DH when my child was only 1 1/2 yrs. My ex's wife is now pregnate and I assume will be going on maternity leave.In the last week he as been calling my house non stop b/c he wants my DH to adopt my 9 yr old. This is great for us but I am wondering why the rush? He as been calling here almost everyday and he is driving me nuts.
I think he wants to save himself a but of money.
Anyway, he wrote me a letter and he had met with his lawyer today.He wanted to know if we agreed on the following topics. They were all the way life is now, the only thing that had changed was the child supposrting stopping.But he still wants to see her when he comes home to visit.
I am making it quit clear to him that I won't stop her from seeing him, but nor will I feel obligated to change plans if I know he is comming home. Nor will I feel obligated to answer to his family everytime I see them.
But is that it? Can I let him walk away from this? How about if I make him pay for 1/2 of her college education or something? Can you do that? It just doesn't seem right to let him walk away from this. If he never wanted to see her again and he was no one, fine, but he still wants to take part in her life.I think he wants to have his cake and eat it to.
Lori

 

[Aquajock]

Lori, the only person who can give you meaningful advice and help with this is A LAWYER.

This isn't selling a car. This is about your child.

Get a lawyer and get one fast.

A-Jock

 

[luvtorun]

Just my 2 cents Lori, so don't feel obliged to use this advice, it is just my opinion. That child is his and he still wants a relationship with her. He has a responsibility to her. He contributed to bringing her into this world and he should live up to that obligation. It isn't all about money either, he should still have a relationship with her and let her know that she matters to him. She doesn't understand all about this money stuff, but she does understand whether her dad wants her in his life or not. Children are an obligation emotionally and montarily. He shouldn't ditch this obligation just because he's gotten himself into another one. Your child will be the one to suffer from it.

Again, Just my opinion. I know you'll get more. Just take what you will from it. Good luck. I wish you and your family well.

ETA - I also agree with A-jock, you do need a lawyer.

 

[andtckrtoo]

I agree with both AJock and Jane. I'm reading this as your ex's way of getting rid of all financial responsibility of your daughter, while keeping the relationship. Sounds to me like the only one who will lose is you and your daughter (she could read this as her dad not wanting her). I would tell him flat out that you are not agreeing to anything until you have YOUR lawyer look it over. There could be all sorts of pitfalls in this. Please see a lawyer and do not agree to anything until you do. Do not let him push you. You are holding the cards right now.