Question about wedding etiquette (clothing-related)

allwildgirl

allwildgirl

Cathlete
Okay, here's the deal. My SO and I are going to a wedding on Saturday (his cousin's). It seems to be a fairly informal affair. We got an invitation, but all RSVPs were via e-mail and they've sent out all other information via e-mail. It's a 5 o'clock ceremony with a cocktail reception after.

Does my SO have to wear a tie? There's no way on earth he'll fork out cash for a suit, since he would never, ever wear it again, so do you think dress slacks with some kind of nice shirt would suffice? We've only been to one other wedding and he didn't wear a tie to that either.
 
I think a tie is appropriate. Unless the invite specifically states it's informal, or unless you know in advance it's a BBQ, I'd highly recommend a tie.
 
I was kind of afraid you were gonna say that. He won't do it, I know he won't. Oh well. Another thing for his dad and stepmom to blame me for, because I'm supposed to look after those things, I guess.
 
Shelley,

My dh does not own a tie!!! He wears slacks, button-up shirts, black belt, and dress shoes. He always looks very nice. Formal sucks...imo!!!

Sara
 
I don't mean to be dumb, but don't they get the fact that you can't make him wear a tie, and if he won't it ain't your fault? I probably know the answer already, but you may want to remind them that you can't make him wear a tie if he doesn't want to do it. He is how old? Why should you both care if they disapprove? Are they going to clear their clothing choices with you and him? I'm betting your SO is old enough to "look after those things" himeself, am I right?
 
Shelly,

I don't think he needs to wear a tie. It sounds like it's informal and I think he will look just fine in a nice pair of pants and shirt.

Trace
 
Get him a really nice silk shirt like a Tommy Bahama one - that is very dressy in a relaxed kind of way, but there is no way you can put a tie with it. My DH is a clothes hound, and this is his semi-formal alternative. He always looks nice - and he's always comfortable
 
Cakebaker - oh, I don't care if they disapprove. And they don't get it because they don't like me and they like to blame me for things, even though they're things he was doing long before he met me (like showing up tieless:p)

Actually my SO is 17. I like 'em young. }(
 
>I was kind of afraid you were gonna say that. He won't do
>it, I know he won't. Oh well. Another thing for his dad and
>stepmom to blame me for, because I'm supposed to look after
>those things, I guess.
>
I can totally relate Shelley. My ex-hubby refused to wear any shoes but sneakers. He wore black sneakers as dress shoes! :+ I had to draw the line on that one when I was working in fundraising & he came to our annual Xmas gala. We had to rent a pair of dress shoes LOL.

And his idea of a tie was a bolero. Personally I'd rather see no tie at all than a bolero!

That said, you're right, you can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to. You could, however, stop for a snack at a rest area on the way & accidentally forget he's not in the passenger seat next to you........;)
 
Actually, I just spoke with the SO and said "I suppose you'll be totally opposed to wearing a tie" and he said "nope, not opposed at all, but I can't remember how to tie one".:p

So, he doesn't need a jacket, right? Can you tell we don't get out much?
 
Sorry, unless you are attending a wedding at a bar or on the beach, or unless the wedding is stated as being casual, a tie and sport jacket should be the minimum. Depending on what the reception, men may take their jackets off as things get going, but one should at least make the effort.
 
Shelley,

Around here guys show up all the time without ties. Not that I like it, but they do. The ones who do show up with a tie on usually have it off or loosened as soon as they sit down. I say don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff!}(
 
Well, the jacket won't happen. We don't have the money to spend on something he'll wear once for 3 hours. The reception is just cocktails at a gallery across the street from the chapel. I'm sure the bride and groom will live a full, happy life in the knowledge that someone didn't wear a jacket to their wedding. ;)
 
Hi Shelley,

I guess it would depend on what the invitation says. I haven't been invited to many weddings but the events I have attended usually state what type of attire is expected... or at least what kind of event it will be. For instance, my company dinners are usually "business casual". But my DH is one of those guys who wears black jeans, black hush puppies, & a nice shirt but no tie to any kind of event. We even attended a political banquet last year & he refused to wear a tie (& insisted on wearing those black jeans), even though the description was that of a formal type of event. So I did my best to dress appropriately & once we got there, we discovered that some people/couples were in tuxes & gowns, while others were in dockers, dresses, dress slacks, skirts, etc. So it actually worked out just fine in the end but regarding my DH & his clothing selection, he just won't budge. When we go out to a nice restaurant, I always feel like we should ask if a tie is required but he always blows it off & says that his money spends the same as everyone else's. He's an individual & doesn't feel like he should conform to something as (what he views as) insignificant as clothing selection. I guess it's all part of why I love him so much. He is who he is & he's the same guy I fell in love with over 20 years ago. Anyway, back to your specific situation. I agree with what others have posted here, I don't think he really needs to wear a tie myself but just wear something that's nice & looks neat. Then, perhaps you can bring it up a notch by wearing something a tad dressier? That's what I usually do with my DH anyway. Also, I don't think there are a lot of rules anymore. Seems like you see people dressed every which way at nearly any event you attend anymore. I have absolutely no idea if any of my babbling may have helped but I hope maybe it did... at least a little.:)
 
<Sorry, unless you are attending a wedding at a bar or on the beach, or unless the wedding is stated as being casual, a tie and sport jacket should be the minimum.>

And no pants? Whoo-hooo!

Seriously though, do people really get their formals in a bunch about this stuff? Are people are more concerned about fashion "minimums" than sharing special occasions with family and friends??
 
><Sorry, unless you are attending a wedding at a bar or on the
>beach, or unless the wedding is stated as being casual, a tie
>and sport jacket should be the minimum.>
>
>And no pants? Whoo-hooo!
>
>Seriously though, do people really get their formals in a
>bunch about this stuff? Are people are more concerned about
>fashion "minimums" than sharing special occasions with family
>and friends??

I wanna party with Beavs. Any party w/ no pants is a party in my book. WHOOT.


Debbie


It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
-Calvin & Hobbes
 
>OK Deb, but I expect you to sport a tie and Members Only
>jacket.

Elitist.


Debbie


It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
-Calvin & Hobbes
 
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