naughtoj
Cathlete
I don't even have kids yet and this is funny!!! 
The following appeared in the February 1998 issue of Parenting. Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your
OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
The Baby's Name
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice
pronouncing and writing combinations of all your
favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt
Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where
your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!
Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember
that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate
them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you
pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake
your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the
mechanical swing.
Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry
cleaner.
Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you
call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
sees blood.
At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the
baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your
older child isn't squeezing, poking or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the
children.
The following appeared in the February 1998 issue of Parenting. Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your
OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
The Baby's Name
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice
pronouncing and writing combinations of all your
favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt
Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where
your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!
Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember
that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate
them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you
pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake
your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the
mechanical swing.
Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry
cleaner.
Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you
call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
sees blood.
At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the
baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your
older child isn't squeezing, poking or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the
children.