I would second Shopaholic's recommendation and see a therapist. I too had bad anxiety during my depression coupled with some very upsetting events in my life. as a result, I went right into postpartum depression afer I gave birth. By the third week of almost no sleep from insomnia and extreme anxiety, my husband helped me seek help. Some of it was unavoidable. Some of it I am sure was hormonal. But, I could have learned coping techniques (like rationalization) before the birth, but I didn't think I was that bad. In hindsight, I was. I think you would want to do everything you can to make this better for yourself now. It was so much harder to "get well" after the birth and take care of myself plus a baby. If you can, get help from a therapist and maybe a doctor now.