OT-Nosy Friend?

[Christi23]

Hi all,
I met a woman about 2 years ago with little boys the same age as mine. Because of the boys we decided to do stuff together. The problem is everytime I go somewhere with her I come home feeling so upset. Usually it's for one of two things. She has 'unexpectedly' brought someone along and basically ignored me the whole time, or she asks question after question after question. I see the lady every week (like two times a week outside of doing anything with her), so I can't say anything too rude or it would be too uncomfortable to bump into her again. Here's an example of what it's like, we decided to take our boys to the movies, when I got to the theater, she says oh "Marla" is here too. Then we get seated in the movie theater and her and Marla sit at one end of the row, and I'm seated with all the kids at the other. Or yesterday a mutual friend of ours invited us to dinner, and the whole time I was there I felt like I was being grilled with one question after another, Is the house ready for us to see, where is it, how exactly do you get there, how many rooms does it have, I mean just on and on. I was waiting for her to say "how much did it cost?" Good grief, I never ask people that many questions because I feel like I might be making them uncomfortable, but I see she has no problem doing that with me. Should I just start not answering the questions? Or what should I do?

 

[nastsm0m]

Christi-I have just started having this sort of issue myself but not with one friend but with it seems like all my friends. Let me first explain I was injured by a drunk driver 2 years ago and was in treatments for 2 years. They all knew my mediation was coming up and they know I settled. I have some who flat out ask "how much I got?" I think that is a rude and nosey question! SO I have answered with a few different responses. I either say 1. I dont wish to discuss this or 2. I say I am not at liberty to discuss it. To some I have even said I resent the question and find it a personal violation. This woman you are dealing with sounds rude! Tell her you don't care to share such personal details about your life. That should put her in her place! Good Luck!

Terri

 

[lorihart]

I think you have to figure out if you really enjoy spending time with this person b/c I don't think I would.
I have one friend who just blurts things out.The last time we were at a function, she was hosting it but she called during that day and really wanted us to pop down, when we got there she didn't even say "HI" to me but I know that she was super busy.She is a close friend and I know she didn't mean it so thats the difference.But like I said,her tongue seems to be uncontrollable so when I am in her company I often have a knot in my stomach b/c I am not sure what she is gonn say to someone.
It almost seems if she is trying to make you feel uncomfortable.Like she ignores you at time and then other times she is drilling you woth questions.
If I were you I would make up excuses for a while, tell her you have plans or something.From your post it doesn't seem like you really enjoy her company that much, so why bother?
Lori

 

[Christi23]

I really don't and from how she acts I don't really think she enjoys mine either. But she keeps inviting us to d stuff with them all the time. I've tried to tell my boys we are going to step back from being with them so much and that blew up in my face, cause my youngest actually told them that. Some of my closer friends have said stuff like "I know something which I won't say, but I don't think she (the woman) is the friend for you..." (One of my friends doesn't believe in conflict but will tell you something like that when she knows something isn't so hot, she doesn't like to gossip). So why, if she is backstabbing, does she continue to try to invite us places. I hate to take it out on her boys but do you guys think I should just flat out tell, her I don't particularly enjoy her company and I would rather go our seperate ways. Or should I just make up excuses everytime she invites us somewhere....I just don't know.

 

[jdoll]

hey christi!! how are ya honey?! besides having to deal with that annoying woman that is ;-)

i think if i were you, i would tell her you don't enjoy her "company" and that you don't think ya'll should do things together anymore. there is no reason for you to continue to be miserable just to spare her feelings or avoid conflict. it's a shame that your kids will be affected, but they will make new friends and hopefully the new friends will have cool mamas


jes

 

[lorihart]

Maybe she just needs drama in her life and she is dragging you along!x( I know your last plan blew up in your face but I think you either need to confront her on this (then again that will just give her more drama and something else to talke about!)or step back without your kids really noticing.You can keep them occupied with other friends or different activites.
If you have the nerve to tell her how you feel, then go for it! I wouldn't, Im a little coward But I would diffently step back without them even noticing, and by the time they do notice, oh...you could come up with something.Just say, mommy's been really busy lately or something. I have stepped back from friends before who DD loved and she didn't even realize it.I just didn't return their phone calls and by the time I would run into that person it would just be a casual hi,how are you.
You know...you don't need a friend like this.Why put yourself through it? Im sure you have many more friends and you don't need her negativity.
Lori