It's been so long since I've posted, I've forgotten what my user name was, so I had to create a new one. Oh well, I just had to share this - I think many of you will enjoy it.
Kathyb
Mom's, Mom's-to-be, future Mom's
>>> > We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually
>>> > mentions that she and her
>>> > husband are thinking of "starting a family". "We're
>>> > taking a survey," she says,
>>> > half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
>>> >
>>> > "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping
>>> > my tone neutral.
>>> > "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on
>>> > weekends, no more spontaneous vacations...."
>>> >
>>> > But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my
>>> > daughter, trying to
>>> > decide what to tell her. I want her to know what
>>> > she will never learn in
>>> > childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the
>>> > physical wounds of child
>>> > bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will
>>> > leave her with an emotional
>>> > wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
>>> >
>>> > I consider warning her that she will never again
>>> > read a newspaper without
>>> > asking "What if that had been MY child?" That every
>>> > plane crash, every
>>> > house fire will haunt her. That when she sees
>>> > pictures of starving children,
>>> > she will wonder if anything could be worse than
>>> > watching your child die.
>>> >
>>> > I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish
>>> > suit and think that no
>>> > matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother
>>> > will reduce her to the
>>> > primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.
>>> >
>>> > That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop
>>> > a souffl? or her best
>>> > crystal without a moment's hesitation.
>>> >
>>> > I feel I should warn her that no matter how many
>>> > years she has invested in
>>> > her career, she will be professionally derailed by
>>> > motherhood.
>>> >
>>> > She might arrange for childcare, but one day she
>>> > will be going into an
>>> > important business meeting and she will think of her
>>> > baby's sweet smell.
>>> > She will have to use every ounce of her discipline
>>> > to keep from running
>>> > home, just to make sure her baby is alright.
>>> >
>>> > I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions
>>> > will no longer be
>>> > routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to
>>> > the men's room rather than
>>> > the women's at McDonald's will become a major
>>> > dilemma. That right there, in
>>> > the midst of clattering trays and screaming
>>> > children, issues of independence
>>> > and gender identity will be weighed against the
>>> > prospect that a child molester
>>> > may be lurking in that restroom.
>>> >
>>> > However decisive she may be at the office, she will
>>> > second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
>>> >
>>> > Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure
>>> > her that eventually she
>>> > will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will
>>> > never feel the same about
>>> > herself. That her life, now so important, will be
>>> > of less value to her
>>> > once she has a child. That she would give it up in
>>> > a moment to save her
>>> > offspring, but will also begin to hope for more
>>> > years - not to accomplish
>>> > her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish
>>> > theirs.
>>> >
>>> > I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny
>>> > stretch marks will
>>> > become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship
>>> > with her husband will
>>> > change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she
>>> > could understand how much
>>> > more you can love a man who is careful to powder the
>>> > baby or who never hesitates
>>> > to play with his child. I think she should know
>>> > that she will fall in love with
>>> > him again for reasons she would now find very
>>> > unromantic.
>>> >
>>> > I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will
>>> > feel with women throughout
>>> > history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and
>>> > drunk driving.
>>> >
>>> > I hope she will understand why I can think
>>> > rationally about most issues,
>
>>> > but become temporarily insane when I discuss the
>>> > threat of nuclear war to my
>>> > children's future.
>>> >
>>> > I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration
>>> > of seeing your child
>>> > learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the
>>> > belly laugh of a baby who
>>> > is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the
>>> > first time. I want her to
>>> > taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.
>>> >
>>> > My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that
>>> > tears have formed in my
>>> > eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say.
>>> > Then I reach across the
>>> > table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent
>>> > prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women
who
>>> >stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed
>>> >gift
>>> >from God . . .that of being a Mother.
>>> >
>>> > Please share this with a Mom that you know or a
>>> > future Mom you know. "Author Unknown"
Kathyb
Mom's, Mom's-to-be, future Mom's
>>> > We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually
>>> > mentions that she and her
>>> > husband are thinking of "starting a family". "We're
>>> > taking a survey," she says,
>>> > half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
>>> >
>>> > "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping
>>> > my tone neutral.
>>> > "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on
>>> > weekends, no more spontaneous vacations...."
>>> >
>>> > But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my
>>> > daughter, trying to
>>> > decide what to tell her. I want her to know what
>>> > she will never learn in
>>> > childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the
>>> > physical wounds of child
>>> > bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will
>>> > leave her with an emotional
>>> > wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
>>> >
>>> > I consider warning her that she will never again
>>> > read a newspaper without
>>> > asking "What if that had been MY child?" That every
>>> > plane crash, every
>>> > house fire will haunt her. That when she sees
>>> > pictures of starving children,
>>> > she will wonder if anything could be worse than
>>> > watching your child die.
>>> >
>>> > I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish
>>> > suit and think that no
>>> > matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother
>>> > will reduce her to the
>>> > primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.
>>> >
>>> > That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop
>>> > a souffl? or her best
>>> > crystal without a moment's hesitation.
>>> >
>>> > I feel I should warn her that no matter how many
>>> > years she has invested in
>>> > her career, she will be professionally derailed by
>>> > motherhood.
>>> >
>>> > She might arrange for childcare, but one day she
>>> > will be going into an
>>> > important business meeting and she will think of her
>>> > baby's sweet smell.
>>> > She will have to use every ounce of her discipline
>>> > to keep from running
>>> > home, just to make sure her baby is alright.
>>> >
>>> > I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions
>>> > will no longer be
>>> > routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to
>>> > the men's room rather than
>>> > the women's at McDonald's will become a major
>>> > dilemma. That right there, in
>>> > the midst of clattering trays and screaming
>>> > children, issues of independence
>>> > and gender identity will be weighed against the
>>> > prospect that a child molester
>>> > may be lurking in that restroom.
>>> >
>>> > However decisive she may be at the office, she will
>>> > second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
>>> >
>>> > Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure
>>> > her that eventually she
>>> > will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will
>>> > never feel the same about
>>> > herself. That her life, now so important, will be
>>> > of less value to her
>>> > once she has a child. That she would give it up in
>>> > a moment to save her
>>> > offspring, but will also begin to hope for more
>>> > years - not to accomplish
>>> > her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish
>>> > theirs.
>>> >
>>> > I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny
>>> > stretch marks will
>>> > become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship
>>> > with her husband will
>>> > change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she
>>> > could understand how much
>>> > more you can love a man who is careful to powder the
>>> > baby or who never hesitates
>>> > to play with his child. I think she should know
>>> > that she will fall in love with
>>> > him again for reasons she would now find very
>>> > unromantic.
>>> >
>>> > I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will
>>> > feel with women throughout
>>> > history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and
>>> > drunk driving.
>>> >
>>> > I hope she will understand why I can think
>>> > rationally about most issues,
>
>>> > but become temporarily insane when I discuss the
>>> > threat of nuclear war to my
>>> > children's future.
>>> >
>>> > I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration
>>> > of seeing your child
>>> > learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the
>>> > belly laugh of a baby who
>>> > is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the
>>> > first time. I want her to
>>> > taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.
>>> >
>>> > My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that
>>> > tears have formed in my
>>> > eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say.
>>> > Then I reach across the
>>> > table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent
>>> > prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women
who
>>> >stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed
>>> >gift
>>> >from God . . .that of being a Mother.
>>> >
>>> > Please share this with a Mom that you know or a
>>> > future Mom you know. "Author Unknown"
