Opinions on Family Weddings?

B

Bunbun

Cathlete
How rude is it to not go to the wedding of the daughter of a first cousin? I get along with my cousin, we sometimes have nice talks at the family functions I do show up to...but I hate going to family functions as a rule. Plus, this wedding starts at 4 p.m. on a Sunday and it's at least 2 hours away by train for me. That means taking off the next day from work, and staying in a hotel or getting home at some ridiculous hour. I could probably get a ride on the way home with my brother or sister--I'm sure they'll go. But I don't have a car, so I'm stuck there until someone decides to leave.

I just hate going to these things, too. Unless it's someone I'm really close with, I'm bored within the first 15 minutes of the reception. I'm not one for chit-chatting it up with my relatives, most of whom I find to be far too negative, nosy, and opinionated. Oh, and I should add that it's just me that's invited--not me and "guest," so my BF doesn't even get to come along and share the misery with me.

Of course, then there's the guilt factor--my other cousin, who lives halfway across the country, is flying in just for the wedding; my brother and sister will both be taking off from work and/or getting home late--why am I such a spoiled brat that I don't do the same? x(
 
I AM WITH YOU ON THIS ONE, I HATE GOING TO FAMILY WEDDINGS ESPECIALLY IF IT IS SOMEONE I DON'T KNOW VERY WELL. YOU SHOULN'T FEEL BAD IF YOU DON'T GO ESPECIALLY SINCE YOUR BF CAN'T GO
 
Actually, I have a rule about this. I do not attend the weddings of the "children" of cousins. I just can't..I have a HUGE family and I can't possibly make it to every single one, so I don't go to any. I love this rule and I follow it to the letter;) :p

Michele
 
Well...First of all, let me say that I'm a bad person to ask because as a rule I LOVE WEDDINGS!:+ There are some that bore me to tears but if there is a half way decent reception, it's my FAVORITE place to dance!!! I have no clue why...I just LOVE it!:7

Secondly, my family is quite small so I really don't have these types of worries in the first place as I am hardly over-run with family activities which I am invited to!:p

Lastly, I don't believe in inviting people that you aren't close to. I have a small family to begin with and STILL did not invite EVERYONE in my family to my wedding!

If you are truly not close to your cousin even, let alone the daughter, and truly do not want to go, then don't feel bad....I'm sure they will survive with out you and the next time that you do see your cousin I'll bet it won't even be an issue!:)
 
Don't Go! Why put yourself in a situation that would make you miserable, especially if you'd have to take off work! Life is to short than to waste a day at place you'd rather not be!

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Mark Twain ;-)
 
I'm glad to hear that most peple think it's ok not to go. I get a lot of pressure and guilt from my family about going to these affairs--everyone else in my immediate family goes to every one of them, no matter how much trouble and money it is for them. Family get togethers have always been really important to them. I think I'm the only one in my family who hates family get togethers.
 
I'm just curious (and maybe I'm sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong...if so, don't answer this)....why you dislike your family GTG's so much??
 
I'm just curious (and maybe I'm sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong...if so, don't answer this)....why you dislike your family GTG's so much??
 
My relatives are all either much older or much younger than me. I'm the only one even remotely in my age group, and I really don't have anything in common with 99% of my extended family. The people I do feel a connection to, I keep in contact with regularly. So I don't feel an obligation to go to these affairs, especially if it means having to spend a lot of time and money getting to them.
 
My relatives are all either much older or much younger than me. I'm the only one even remotely in my age group, and I really don't have anything in common with 99% of my extended family. The people I do feel a connection to, I keep in contact with regularly. So I don't feel an obligation to go to these affairs, especially if it means having to spend a lot of time and money getting to them.
 
As my grandmother used to say "feh". Which means life is too short to waste your time doing things you don't really want to do. And I'll tell you something else, if I invited someone to my wedding who felt the way you feel, I would strongly prefer that they not come.

Hope that helps to allieve your guilt or whatever you're feeling that makes you think you need to go, cuz it's true.

-Nancy
 
As my grandmother used to say "feh". Which means life is too short to waste your time doing things you don't really want to do. And I'll tell you something else, if I invited someone to my wedding who felt the way you feel, I would strongly prefer that they not come.

Hope that helps to allieve your guilt or whatever you're feeling that makes you think you need to go, cuz it's true.

-Nancy
 
It's the guilt. My mother may be dead nearly 10 years, but her guilt-infliciting talents live on! You're right, though, Nancy: It's ruder to go to someone's wedding and be miserable and pissed off that you're there than it is to simply decline the invitation. Thanks for helping me sort this out.
 
It's the guilt. My mother may be dead nearly 10 years, but her guilt-infliciting talents live on! You're right, though, Nancy: It's ruder to go to someone's wedding and be miserable and pissed off that you're there than it is to simply decline the invitation. Thanks for helping me sort this out.
 
I don't believe it is rude not to go given the way that you feel. Don't you think that when people are planning big weddings or weddings in general, that there is also a lot of "oh we have to invite so and so"..not that you are so and so...haha.

Unless I am close to the couple, I feel the same as you. And I can't stand family get-togethers as well!! Truly dread them!!

If it were me, I'd send a nice gift and wish them well. Life is too short to do things that you dread, and I've found that I always regret doing things I dread.
 
I don't believe it is rude not to go given the way that you feel. Don't you think that when people are planning big weddings or weddings in general, that there is also a lot of "oh we have to invite so and so"..not that you are so and so...haha.

Unless I am close to the couple, I feel the same as you. And I can't stand family get-togethers as well!! Truly dread them!!

If it were me, I'd send a nice gift and wish them well. Life is too short to do things that you dread, and I've found that I always regret doing things I dread.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top