Need Help-Possible Legal Advice-Long. Sorry

[JT]

The background: I met this guy from church whom ended up in my small group which I was th leader for about three years. When I first met him, he scared the crap out of me. After that, I accepted him for whom he was but never felt completely safe.
Last year: He admits to stalking or lingering in a subdivison of whom he is obessed about and promises to never do it again. I warn him at that time that he is breaking the law, it's not advisable to continueand to stop immediatley. One week later, I realize he had lied to me when I was driving back from a party and he was headed to the person's area, after that, I did report it to authorities of his actions. The relationship of convenience for him of a listening ear and support ended because I felt if he lied to me about something big about never breaking the law again, he has lied to me about smaller issues. About one year ago.
The Problem now: He is now lingering/hovering in my area all day on Saturdays which is about 20 minutes away from where I think he lives and driving by my employment at least twice a day during the week, about 40 minutes away from where I think he lives. This person is mentally ill and transient, IMO. He rents rooms from people he finds on Craig's list and his only contract is with his cell phone company. Currently, I am adjusting my times and my places of doing errands to avoid this person to give myself the peace I had enjoyed in my life up until two months ago. Since this person has not threatened me, I am not sure if I can put out a PPO on him. I have no address on him either.

Thanks.

 

[Aquajock]

The background: I met this guy from church whom ended up in my small group which I was th leader for about three years. When I first met him, he scared the crap out of me. After that, I accepted him for whom he was but never felt completely safe.
Last year: He admits to stalking or lingering in a subdivison of whom he is obessed about and promises to never do it again. I warn him at that time that he is breaking the law, it's not advisable to continueand to stop immediatley. One week later, I realize he had lied to me when I was driving back from a party and he was headed to the person's area, after that, I did report it to authorities of his actions. The relationship of convenience for him of a listening ear and support ended because I felt if he lied to me about something big about never breaking the law again, he has lied to me about smaller issues. About one year ago.
The Problem now: He is now lingering/hovering in my area all day on Saturdays which is about 20 minutes away from where I think he lives and driving by my employment at least twice a day during the week, about 40 minutes away from where I think he lives. This person is mentally ill and transient, IMO. He rents rooms from people he finds on Craig's list and his only contract is with his cell phone company. Currently, I am adjusting my times and my places of doing errands to avoid this person to give myself the peace I had enjoyed in my life up until two months ago. Since this person has not threatened me, I am not sure if I can put out a PPO on him. I have no address on him either.

Thanks.

I would contact your local police department and speak with a community service officer or other public liaison, and describe exactly what you have described here. I would also check with local domestic violence advocate groups, who often assist and advise people who are the victims of stranger-stalking and casual acquaintance stalking as well as intimate partner stalking / abuse. Both of these agencies / entities could give you some good advice for further research and protection steps.

A-Jock

 

[JT]

Thanks, I thought of calling the police but I didn't think they could help. My house is up for Sale and I plan to move out of the area but my problem is what to do until then.
Thanks again.

 

[rb38]

From your post, I am a bit unsure of your relationship with this person. Where you a religious advisor? It might be he is feeling betrayed by the information you told the police. The bottom line, which I tell my clients, is if someone wants to hurt you, an order of protection is not much protection. You need to be vigilant. Be aware of your surroundings. Take a self defense course. Have an alarm system installed with a panic button. Check the locks on your windows and doors. Park your car in lit areas and when you walk to it, have your keys in your hand and your fingers on the alarm button if you have one. Alert your neighbors to be on the look out for this person. I would also talk to the police about the situation and they may make more drives by your home. When you move, try to limit the number of people you tell where you are going. Vary your schedule. If possible spend nights away or invite friends to stay. If he is still connected to your church, you may want to speak to the minister and ask if he would have a word with him.
Hopefully, he will soon lose interest but if he is mentally ill, who knows what fantasies he has created around you.

 

[JT]

My relationship with this person began I was a small group leader at a church and he was part of the group. The relationship changed when I left the group and I became a "person of convenience" to hear his woes of how many were doing him wrong continually. Actually, I believe he was doing them wrong. He was not the victim. Honestly, I am not sure if he knows I was the one that called the police. I called through silent observer.
From your posting, I have known many to break a protection order. In MI, I may not get one without a direct threat. Personally, I think he is doing it try to intimidate me. My neighbors already have been alerted to call the police if they see his car on the street.
Thanks for the reminder, I have all my windows and doors locked continually at my house and for my car. The police presence in my area might help especially if they "happen" to question him.
The odd thing is that I haven't attended the same church for years. Not sure where he is attending now. Last year when I called authorities on him, a friend of mine decided that he needed friends more than I did and ended the friendship with me.
From these discussions, I could alert the police on his activity and I could speak with his Pastor of his last known church.
The loss of interest is something I am hoping for. I think he is still interested in the person he was stalking one year ago. Also, I think he ego can't get around the fact I don't want him in my life.