MEN!!!!!!

ldy_solana

ldy_solana

Cathlete
nothing against our men here,but sometimes the sterotypes fit LOL.

For all those men who say, Why buy cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Men are like ..Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like.Bananas The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like ....Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like ....Chocolate Bars Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ....Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8. Men are like .....Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like .....Mascara They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like .....Lava Lamps Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.


Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!


You Got Served!



kassia

http://www.picturetrail.com/ldy_solana

"And do what thee wilt as long as ye harm none"

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1307/4842454/16585805/276676894.jpg
 
With no disrespect to our men here, but FUNNY!:7 My personal favorite is #8...so true:)
 
I have a witty comeback but it is way over the edge for the board. So consider yourself answered.

My wife would alter #8, at 48 I show no signs of maturing. Second childhood? I haven't finished the first one yet.

On #11... Women can't judge the scale on a map because all of their adult lives they've been told that
->>| this |<--
is 6 inches
 
OH I hate to be such a wet blanket, but I think lists like this are NOT amusing and are rude and hurtful. Would it be a good thing if we started some threads titled: "JEWS!!!!! 1. Jews are skinflints, 2. Jews are (etc.)," or maybe, "MEXICANS!!!!!" You get the idea...

I'm usually in the minority when I defend the male gender and I know lots of people consider it totally fine to male-bash, but I think sometimes women engage in it without stopping to think how hostile it sounds.

My apologies to the original poster, I DON'T mean to pick on you and I DON'T want to make this into an argumentative thread, I know these jokes are a very common thing. I've just read SO many of these kinds of emails from friends, and I have a lot of great men in my life and I hate to have them generalized about...
 
Here ya go, Dave:

Mens Rules List

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Blah, blah, blah....

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Listen up!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
 
Loved the men's version! The toilet seat is soo true! So is being fat!!! And that nothing is wrong, and the headache! OUCH! I guess men do have us figured out :)

Mary
 
I love both too! What would this world come to if we could not poke fun at ourselves anyway!:7
 
We all have to look at ourselves and be what we want to be.

We all have out own ways of doing things and our own ways of thinking.

Learning to live with the different typical ways of both genders is not up for debate - it is a given. My entire thought process changed after I read Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus.

There are differences (generic as they may be) and it was so true to see that once we learn how another thinks, even when we don't agree, it makes life so much easier.

Without these differences it would all be boring.

I believe laughter is the best medicine.

Thanks for a good laugh at both genders

:7
 
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