Just need to vent

MARY1616

Cathlete
yesterday was one of the most stressful days for me. I found out after surgery (yesterday) that my mom has ovarian cancer. The tumor was the size of a grapefruit , they also removed the other ovary and her appendex. I was told that she will need to have chemotherapy which I dont know if I can go with her while I am pregnant. Thank you for listening.
 
Mary,
I am so sorry - that is a very tough situation to be in. I know that it will be difficult for you not to stress over this. How is your mom feeling? I do know that they know a lot more about chemotherapy these days and that there is a high success rate out there. You can be there for your mom without having to actually go into the treatments with her. Is there someone else in the family that can go with her?
My thoughts and prayers and with you and your mom!!
 
Mary! I'm so sorry to hear this. I cannot even imagine the pain & concern you have for your mom.

As far as chemotherapy goes, there's no reason why you couldn't be there for her. The medicine is given directly to her...so there wouldn't be any risk to you or your baby as long as you don't actually touch the medicine yourself. Radiation would be a whole different story.

My prayers are with you & your mom during this difficult time. Thanks for using us to vent.


**Melanie**
Jadon born 11/23/05
Justin born 1/17/04
Jory born 4/9/94

" Take care of your body like it will last a lifetime. Take care of your soul like it will last for eternity"
 
Thank you so much for your kind words. The dr. does not want us to tell my mom about it until we know how much chemo she will need, she is pretty out of it today, I am going to try and go to the hospital at some point(the weather is bad)Thank you again and I will keep you posted.
 
Mary my thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost my mom to a very very serious stomach cancer in September. My Dad had cancer at the same time and is doing great. Everyone is correct that ovarian cancer is very curable. Sorry this is so long but want to share my knowledge.

First go to acor.org - cancer resource site. I used it constantly. You can sign up for the ovarian cancer listserv and speak with people who have the illness, family members coping. I got such great info from people from around the world. As family members we are expected to make medical decisions and from this site I was able to run all the questions by those who had been there.

Second, it is ok to say to a doctor "Give us a day to decide" on certain treatments. Then you get on the listserv, get second opinions, check in with family. Doctors are mostly focused on chemo and radiation. Sometimes there are alternatives, or combo treatments.

Also, get all your mom's paper work in order now - health care proxy especially. I would also make sure that one of you get yourself on her checking or savings accounts and pin #s in case you need access to her money (my mom would not let us pay for anything so we'd be going to the cash machine constantly; she tipped the health care aides all the time!). Get copies made of all her health insurance id numbers - good to know when you call them and they say, "Oh sorry without the id number we can't tell you anything". For the times she is not lucid you or a sibling or someone may be asked, or will ask, to make decisions about treatment. I did this when my mom had a bad reaction to treatment that made her a bit whacky.

Final advice: you are pregnant. Put you and your baby first or you will be no good to your mother. You are a mom, wouldn't you tell your children the same? Feel no guilt.

I have been there. Please please please feel free to ask me any questions in the coming weeks. There is hope, there are wonderful moments to come out of this misery. To quote my mom, "Expect miracles!!"

All the best,
Julie
 
Mary,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I wish I knew what to say. Julie has given you excellent advice.

Just please take care of yourself. Just do what you can but take it easy whenever possible.

Please keep us posted and know we are here when you need us.

Hugs,
 
I am so thankful that I have so many people to talk to about this . I appreciate all of you kind words and advice and I will definately go to that website. Thank you all and I will let you know what happens, I think my family and I are going to tell her on monday if she is strong enough.
 
Mary--I'm sorry to hear your bad news, but glad to hear that ovarian cancer is very treatable (not that that makes it any easier for you right now.) Please keep us posted.

Maggie
 

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