Hi - I posted a few months ago about my fertility problems (I was having very irregular periods and didn't know how I could possibly predict ovulation). Well, my periods became more regular and I took a pregnancy test last night and I'm pregnant! I've never experienced such a rush of fear and excitement (lot of fear, actually). I'm 30 years old and my husband is very excited. My last period was June 4th, so I know this is VERY early. It's so early I don't want to tell anyone because of a fear of miscarriages. My mom had 2 miscarriages and it seems like miscarriages are pretty common, so I'm very fearful of that. How long do you have to wait before you are beyond the reasonable fear of miscarriages?
I'm pregnant with my first
- Thread starter sln
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Andrea
Guest
Congrats!
I miscarried about a year ago, and have been VERY careful this time. I am almost 12 weeks now and that is when it happened last time. I didn't tell anyone until I was sick and they pretty much guessed. I would try not to worry about it too much because of the stress it will cause, and just take EVERYTHING a little easier. Just because your Mom miscarried doesn't mean you will either. Good Luck!
Andrea
I miscarried about a year ago, and have been VERY careful this time. I am almost 12 weeks now and that is when it happened last time. I didn't tell anyone until I was sick and they pretty much guessed. I would try not to worry about it too much because of the stress it will cause, and just take EVERYTHING a little easier. Just because your Mom miscarried doesn't mean you will either. Good Luck!
Andrea
How can I be careful?
<center><font size="1" color="#ff0000">LAST EDITED ON Jul-13-00 AT 12:34PM (EST)</font></center>
How do you be careful of a miscarriage? I don't know much about them. Should I avoid high impact (i.e. stepping, hi-lo) right now? I've heard that you should avoid caffeine and even that you should boil water and put it in the refrigerator before you drink it. Is any of this true? I think I'll wait until I'm 12 weeks or so, even though I'm DYING to tell my Mom, as this will be her first grandchild. - Sarah
<center><font size="1" color="#ff0000">LAST EDITED ON Jul-13-00 AT 12:34PM (EST)</font></center>
How do you be careful of a miscarriage? I don't know much about them. Should I avoid high impact (i.e. stepping, hi-lo) right now? I've heard that you should avoid caffeine and even that you should boil water and put it in the refrigerator before you drink it. Is any of this true? I think I'll wait until I'm 12 weeks or so, even though I'm DYING to tell my Mom, as this will be her first grandchild. - Sarah
Tell mom
I don't have any information about when you are safe - I have heard of women who miscarry up to 20 weeks even.
My suggestion is - go ahead and tell your mom if you want to. My theory is, if you do miscarry that is a pretty traumatic thing - mainly because you get so excited about your pregnancy and can get pretty depressed when it doesn't end up with a baby. Even if you had to tell her you miscarried you would have a shoulder to cry on. Just ask your mom to wait a few months before she shares her joy with others.
Congratulations to you!!! The first pregnancy is so exciting!
I don't have any information about when you are safe - I have heard of women who miscarry up to 20 weeks even.
My suggestion is - go ahead and tell your mom if you want to. My theory is, if you do miscarry that is a pretty traumatic thing - mainly because you get so excited about your pregnancy and can get pretty depressed when it doesn't end up with a baby. Even if you had to tell her you miscarried you would have a shoulder to cry on. Just ask your mom to wait a few months before she shares her joy with others.
Congratulations to you!!! The first pregnancy is so exciting!
Thanks!
I suppose you're right - my mom is very supportive and I'm sure she would understand. I just hate to let her down if something happens
She would definitely be a shoulder to cry on. I will just encourage her to keed it on the "down low" for awhile. Thanks for the advice. I think it would be hard to wait 20 weeks to tell her! I'm sure if I make it that long I'll be bursting with the news. I'm already bursting at 6 weeks. It's about all I can think about!
I suppose you're right - my mom is very supportive and I'm sure she would understand. I just hate to let her down if something happens
H
Hazel
Guest
I don't have a definitive answer for you
but I can tell you what we did, which was wait to tell anyone until we first heard the baby's heartbeat at around 10 weeks. That's when I personally felt that it was more likely that things would be OK with the pregnancy.
I've had several friends miscarry early in their first trimesters, so I know how anxious you are feeling, but everything I've read seems to indicate that unless you have a history of repeated miscarriages or some definite physical problem, your activities/habits are unlikely to cause a miscarriage. Obviously, you don't want to be smoking or doing tequila shooters, but I don't think it's necessary to boil your drinking water (as for caffeine, ask your doctor -- some are more particular about it than others, although it seems most will allow you a moderate amount throughout the pregnancy). If you pay too much attention to every report that comes out about what is potentially bad for you during pregnancy, there wouldn't be much you could eat/drink/do for 40 weeks!
As I said, I'm no professional in this area (just a survivor!) Your doctor can probably address all these concerns, so I'd talk to him or her about it.
Congratulations and good luck!
Hazel
but I can tell you what we did, which was wait to tell anyone until we first heard the baby's heartbeat at around 10 weeks. That's when I personally felt that it was more likely that things would be OK with the pregnancy.
I've had several friends miscarry early in their first trimesters, so I know how anxious you are feeling, but everything I've read seems to indicate that unless you have a history of repeated miscarriages or some definite physical problem, your activities/habits are unlikely to cause a miscarriage. Obviously, you don't want to be smoking or doing tequila shooters, but I don't think it's necessary to boil your drinking water (as for caffeine, ask your doctor -- some are more particular about it than others, although it seems most will allow you a moderate amount throughout the pregnancy). If you pay too much attention to every report that comes out about what is potentially bad for you during pregnancy, there wouldn't be much you could eat/drink/do for 40 weeks!
As I said, I'm no professional in this area (just a survivor!) Your doctor can probably address all these concerns, so I'd talk to him or her about it.
Congratulations and good luck!
Hazel
A
Andrea
Guest
I'm not an expert or anything
By being careful I just meant I took out most of the power moves in cardio, and lowered my weights a bit so I wasn't straining. Does that make sense? My doc also told me not to lift heavy things over my head so I guess military presses are out. I raised my step so I still got a good workout. And the boiling your water and caffeine stuff is not something you should stress over. My doc didn't want me to have soda, but Dr. Pepper was something that helped my sickness sometimes and I said "I'm not drinking, smoking, or doing drugs. I will drink Dr. Pepper".
But again I am not a doctor myself.
Andrea
By being careful I just meant I took out most of the power moves in cardio, and lowered my weights a bit so I wasn't straining. Does that make sense? My doc also told me not to lift heavy things over my head so I guess military presses are out. I raised my step so I still got a good workout. And the boiling your water and caffeine stuff is not something you should stress over. My doc didn't want me to have soda, but Dr. Pepper was something that helped my sickness sometimes and I said "I'm not drinking, smoking, or doing drugs. I will drink Dr. Pepper".
But again I am not a doctor myself.
Andrea
Thanks Everyone! I told my Mom!
Thanks for your words of wisdom, everyone. I did tell my Mom and she was very, very excited. She is going to try to keep it to herself. I'm still trying to maintain a level of optimism mixed with reality. I know that miscarriages are common, so I'm trying to temper the amount I think about the future of the pregnancy a little. It's hard though! I went to the nurse yesterday for my 6 week visit and they gave me a HUGE stack of stuff about being pregnant, so it's hard to keep my mind off it. I see my Dr. in 2 weeks so we'll see how things go.
Thanks for your words of wisdom, everyone. I did tell my Mom and she was very, very excited. She is going to try to keep it to herself. I'm still trying to maintain a level of optimism mixed with reality. I know that miscarriages are common, so I'm trying to temper the amount I think about the future of the pregnancy a little. It's hard though! I went to the nurse yesterday for my 6 week visit and they gave me a HUGE stack of stuff about being pregnant, so it's hard to keep my mind off it. I see my Dr. in 2 weeks so we'll see how things go.
I'm pretty late to this discussion
but I just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS! But I mostly wanted to say something about enjoying your pregnancy. I'm an unfortunate expert on miscarriage (several)and it isn't really common, its not uncommon but chances are you will have a happy, healthy uneventful pregnancy and delivery.
Please take the time to enjoy your pregnancy and try not to worry. Tell your family and closest friends, especially if you would count on them if something went wrong. In my experiences (I now have the most beautiful daughter in the world, through adoption (all right I'm biased lol)) if something goes wrong, it will be hard either way. Please don't deny yourself pregnancy joy until you hit your second trimester thinking "just in case." Share your joy with those closest to you, but maybe save the general announcement till later if you want.
I hope I don't sound too preachy, but believe me, if something goes wrong, its almost never the mother's fault (unless you jumped out of planes or something). So please don't deny yourself the unmeasurable joy that an awaited wanted pregnancy brings.
LynnO
but I just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS! But I mostly wanted to say something about enjoying your pregnancy. I'm an unfortunate expert on miscarriage (several)and it isn't really common, its not uncommon but chances are you will have a happy, healthy uneventful pregnancy and delivery.
Please take the time to enjoy your pregnancy and try not to worry. Tell your family and closest friends, especially if you would count on them if something went wrong. In my experiences (I now have the most beautiful daughter in the world, through adoption (all right I'm biased lol)) if something goes wrong, it will be hard either way. Please don't deny yourself pregnancy joy until you hit your second trimester thinking "just in case." Share your joy with those closest to you, but maybe save the general announcement till later if you want.
I hope I don't sound too preachy, but believe me, if something goes wrong, its almost never the mother's fault (unless you jumped out of planes or something). So please don't deny yourself the unmeasurable joy that an awaited wanted pregnancy brings.
LynnO
Thanks LynnO
<center><font size="1" color="#ff0000">LAST EDITED ON Jul-25-00 AT 08:57AM (EST)</font></center>
Thanks for the encouragement. We've told both sets of parents and a set of our close friends. I'm not going to tell work folks until pretty far in, though. It's a fun & scary time, isn't it? I appreciate your reminders about trying to enjoy it! It's very exciting. I have butterflies in my stomach a lot. I sleep like a log also. I'm sure I will enjoy this sleep, as I'm probably going to be dog tired for the next few years if the pregnancy works out!
<center><font size="1" color="#ff0000">LAST EDITED ON Jul-25-00 AT 08:57AM (EST)</font></center>
Thanks for the encouragement. We've told both sets of parents and a set of our close friends. I'm not going to tell work folks until pretty far in, though. It's a fun & scary time, isn't it? I appreciate your reminders about trying to enjoy it! It's very exciting. I have butterflies in my stomach a lot. I sleep like a log also. I'm sure I will enjoy this sleep, as I'm probably going to be dog tired for the next few years if the pregnancy works out!
What great advice, Lynn
I just had to tell you how wonderful I thought your advice was on this subject. People really don't know how to handle the fear of a miscarriage and they don't know how to react when someone's had one. You had thoughtful, compassionate advice on this topic. I'm only sorry you had to get your knowledge the hard way.
And -- it's the weirdest coincidence, LynnO, but *I* ALSO have the most beautiful daughter in the world!
I just had to tell you how wonderful I thought your advice was on this subject. People really don't know how to handle the fear of a miscarriage and they don't know how to react when someone's had one. You had thoughtful, compassionate advice on this topic. I'm only sorry you had to get your knowledge the hard way.
And -- it's the weirdest coincidence, LynnO, but *I* ALSO have the most beautiful daughter in the world!
Cathe Friedrich
Administrator
Congratulations!
What a very exciting time in your life. I'm happy for you.
About miscarriages.......Even though we try to put this thought completely out of our minds, I think its only natural for this thought to cross a pregnant woman's mind at some point in her pregnancy.
Try to relax and enjoy the here and now rather than worry about what could be. I know that is always easier said than done. I'll be thinking about you and wishing you the best!
What a very exciting time in your life. I'm happy for you.
About miscarriages.......Even though we try to put this thought completely out of our minds, I think its only natural for this thought to cross a pregnant woman's mind at some point in her pregnancy.
Try to relax and enjoy the here and now rather than worry about what could be. I know that is always easier said than done. I'll be thinking about you and wishing you the best!