If your SO/DH doesn't like your best friend...

NO!

Example: When I was 21 years old I dated a guy who did not like my best friend and well, the feeling actually ended up being mutual. LOL Needless to say I never spent time with them TOGETHER. He monopolized MOST of my time and on the rare occassions I wanted to do something with my BF he made quite a big stink about it and it usually ended up in an argument. Yes, he was unreasonable and ridiculous. So anyway, the straw that broke the camel's back was when he got mad because she was having her 21st B'day party and I was invited but he was not. She told me he was not invited because we hadn't been together very long and she didn't know him. She had only been in his company once since we had started dating 2 months prior. Well, he was highly insulted by the fact that he was not invited and caused major problems at her B'day party by making nasty phone calls to her home. I can't remember how/why he had her phone number. I wish he hadn't. Anyway, I ended up in tears and my BF's dad was ready to call the cops cause the guy was threatening to come over and beat people up some cr@p like that. Needless to say that was when I finally decided enough was enough and broke up with him the next day. He made such a scene and tried to stop me from leaving...it was bad...I was afraid he was going to hit me...a story for another time. Anyway, my BF stuck by me through it all and we are close as ever today. Yes, we had our troubles during my relationship with this guy but true friendship will win out in the end over any relationship!
 
I think it depends. Obviously, a husband is a much different type of relationship than a boyfriend/significant other.

If I was in a *new* relationship I would be completely unwilling to give up any friendships for a boyfriend. However, I would have to honestly say that I wouldn't risk my marriage and having a stable relationship with my husband for a friend. At the end of the day, my husband is the man I love and the man I plan on spending the rest of my life with so that relationship has to be more important than any of my friendships.

But here's the thing: if my boyfriend didn't like my best friend I doubt I would have ended up married to him since I wouldn't have sacrificed my friendship for a boyfriend. So I would have to assume my boyfriend and best friend had found a way to co-exist or I wouldn't have ended up married to this guy.

Now, if something were to happen after our marriage to cause my husband and best friend to dislike each other, I guess I would try to maintain both relationships but, like I said above, in the end I wouldn't ruin my marriage over it. I would hope, though, that my husband would be able to be undertsanding enough that I could maintain my friendship in some way. But, our friendship would probably change in some way.
 
Marriage is a different situation but not entirely...

I believe, in the end that wether it be a boyfriend or a husband, love relationships still come and go and when you break up or if you get a divorce at some point it's your family and your FRIENDS that will be there to help you pick up the pieces. IMO getting married does not make it automatically OKAY to drop a friendship.

If the 2 friends have a falling out that can not be mended or if the friend and the husband have one and you feel your friend was unjustified in her actions/words against your DH then I can see it but just because DH and BF do not get along or see eye to eye or whatever is no reason to drop the friendship. I also don't think you should automatically take your DH's side in an argument between him and you BF just because he's your DH. If you feel he is right, fine but if not, I think you need to defend your friend.

Any person who asks or expects their spouse to do such a thing with out an EXTREMELY good reason is not a person I'd want to be with. As adults, we should all be able to live and let live and no one should be expected to cut an important person out of thier lives just because the spouse or boyfriend does not care for them.

JMO!:)
 
I can only speak from my own perspective. My DH is a very good judge of character and he gets along with almost everyone. If he really didn't like someone, it would cause me to take a much closer look at that person!
 
I don't read the original post to be about anyone ASKING/DEMANDING that someone drop their friends. That is another situation entirely. I read this as, if your dh/so doesn't get along with your friend will that lead to someone, of their own accord, pulling away from the friendship.
 
>I don't read the original post to be about anyone
>ASKING/DEMANDING that someone drop their friends. That is
>another situation entirely. I read this as, if your dh/so
>doesn't get along with your friend will that lead to someone,
>of their own accord, pulling away from the friendship.
>
>

Point taken. :)

I still personally would not pull away. My BF has been around tons longer then any man so if my man doesn't like her then he can go scratch!}(
 
>I can only speak from my own perspective. My DH is a very
>good judge of character and he gets along with almost
>everyone. If he really didn't like someone, it would cause me
>to take a much closer look at that person!

I was thinking the same thing about my own DH.

ETA: I just mentioned this to him, and he pointed out that it sort of depends on who has been around longer: since he and I have been together for so long, he knows all of my friends almost as well as I do, and I have known him for far longer than most of my friends. But if you have a best friend whom you've known longer than your SO/DH, then the dynamic would be different.
 
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