I think I'm upset by this

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
I just got this email from my gym friend:

"Last night both Chris's at the gym were asking "what your story was" meaning if you were seeing anyone and the like. I replied with, "She's a cutie isn't she?" Then the big Chris said, "I'd like to put her in a choke hold and...." I told him he should learn to respect women and if he ever tried that with you, I was confident you'd rip his sack off. He stopped commenting after that. It's lovely being noticed by young a$$holes, isn't it?"

I would cut off my right hand for an over-30 gym (although I guess that would make my routine a little tough). Am I wrong to be bothered by this? I don't think I'll be able to see either one of these morons without slapping them in the face. I hate feeling uncomfortable at my gym.

OK OK, I know I'm gonna get a bunch of "this is why I work out at home" responses, but I love the gym, all the equipment, classes etc. so having an all-home routine just won't work for me.
 
Some guys are total morons. I'd be offended too, the comment was totally unnecessary. I loved it when I worked out at a gym too but it was all females. I just could never do a co-ed gym for this very reason, among others. Do you intend to tell him you didn't appreciate his remark?
 
Laura- I wish that I could say that I understand, but honestly, as I am not in your position, I can't. I *can*, however, say that I empathize with you and, NO you should NOT feel uncomfortable at your gym! Personally, if a gym were possible for me (without having to drive 45 minutes!) I would head straight to the local women's only gym! I still can't see why that guy felt he needed to comment like that in the first place!

I know that you've had a rough "gym year" this last year. I hope that you'll be able to smile in their faces and make good on your friend's threats some day!!!}( }(
 
This is why you should workout at home!!!! Didn't we teach you anything? LOL. You know I had to do that ;)

I belong to a gym, too, so I totally get that split. To tell you the truth, I am so oblivious to if anyone is looking at people, talking about others, etc. I think I just totally zone. However, the gym I am at now is a wee bit more family oriented I think. When I used to belong to Gold's Gym, it was a total meat market and I hated that. For funsies, I would make up names for all the kooks in the gym...there was "80s queen", "the grunter", "floss butt"...etc. If all else fails, this is a great game :)

This all being said, I think some guys are huge A holes (and yes I know women can be, too). If they don't bother you, then I would just go about my business. They aren't worth your time. If you do feel that uncomfortable, is it possible to switch gyms? I know this might not be reality for you, but I thought I'd ask.


Debbie


I'm not gaining weight. I'm retaining food.
 
Debbie that is too funny, we do the same thing! We have the Russkies (pronounced Roooooskies), these two Russian sisters who work out together (and apparently beat the heck out of each other--for a couple of weeks they were both sporting stitches & shiners & we found out they'd gotten into a fight), Spandex Man, the Keebler Elf (don't even ask), Bobble Head.........you're right, it is fun. :)

Yeah this is a New York Sports Club so it is kind of a meat market. Switching isn't really an option b/c gyms are pretty few & far between in my area (my dream is to own my own someday). I definitely will not say something to this nasty kid b/c I don't want to betray my GF's confidence.

You know, I think the problem is I pretty much ignore everyone when I'm working out & had no idea these jerks even noticed me, much less were making disgusting comments about me. The email came from my (former?) training partner & we were both there last night doing different bodyparts. I exercised alone & didn't speak to anyone, she exercised alone & had these two trainers following her around BSing (remember my chatting too much complaint?).

I'm tempted to mention it to the manager but she's pretty young herself & doesn't do a very good job running the place.
 
Laura we go to the same gym :) Amazing how different they are depending upon the location.

Don't you send those sisters over to me. I'll come after you.



Debbie


I'm not gaining weight. I'm retaining food.
 
Laura:
You are not wrong to feel bothered by this, but try to realize that it is those guys that have the problem not you. Those guys were jerks for saying that, but unfortunately most men, especially immature ones, say things to show off in front of others without realizing that they are disrepecting the person they are talking about. In their eyes, they probably thought of it as a compliment. If given the opportunity you might jokingly say something to them about it, but some times it is best to ignore it because some people like to say more things if they find out it bothers you. Just remember it's just as much your gym as theirs, so try not to let them control your feelings about it.

Jean
 
Hi Laura,
Reading through this, my first response would be to laugh it off. So you know they're watching...who cares? Guys like that just have raging insecurity issues, which means that you are in quite a power position with them anyway. Use it to your advantage!

However, I'm not sure why you care. From the sound of it, these 2 guys don't have any impact on your life at all. I'd keep doing what you're doing and ignore them.
 
Laura,
I completely understand how you feel. You go to the gym to workout and you don't want to have to deal with any bullsh*t. (Which you've also mentioned comes in the form of a chatty training partner, which would drive me nuts as well!)

I know it's easy for me to say don't let these guys or their snide remarks bother you, but it's easier said than done. Just know that we're on YOUR side here and you should be upset. The last thing you want is to feel awkward or uncomfortable at the gym when all you want to do is get your workout in. Good luck!

Allison
 
The guy has serious problems. Why couldn't he just say you were cute or attractive? It really sounds like this particular guy has hostilities towards women and you need to stay WAY clear of him. I wouldn't hold it against all men, though, or against all guys under 30. Just because a guy is young doesn't necessarily mean he's a sicko.
 
<I know it's easy for me to say don't let these guys or their snide remarks bother you, but it's easier said than done.>

I completely agree. What helps me with situations like this is remembering that I don't have to "own" someone else's stupid remarks (if I dwell on them I'll end up doing just that), that their comments are a reflection of them, not me. I know, easier said than done but it helps. As Madonna once sang "I'm not your b!tch, don't hang your sh!t on me."
 
OK I will do my best to ignore them. It just really makes me sick that they think it's OK to talk about women like that, especially to one of my friends.

They're immature little jerks. They're about 22 years old & they're trainers, so they think they rule the world. I also know for a fact one of them is a serious steroid user.

I am considering switching gyms after this--it's not the first time I've had young guys there annoy me. I think probably more than half the members are boys >25 & I'm really tired of their swearing, machine-hogging & general rowdiness. I did a little research & found a very upscale, more expensive, smaller place that caters to older exercisers & has limited their membership to prevent overcrowding. I'm seriously thinking about it--it's pretty small but it has everything I need. The extra $20 a month is not very appealing though.
 
Nah, don't be. In his own backwards way, he meant it in a positive manner. He's obviously just too stupid, hateful and egocentric to profess his opinion in a respectable way. That said, I'd feel funny around him knowing that he had said that too.

It doesn't matter if you work out at home or in the gym. Some men say these comments in all different arenas. I have had guys say things to me that make me blush eight shades of red and then instantly get upset. I have no idea why they think they are being complimentary in those cases.
 
I stopped lifting at the gym because of the whanks there. I used to like working out along side the men, they make me push myself harder for some reason, most women at the gym, lift 2 pound dumbells and fix their makeup in the mirror the whole time.x( At least the gyms I have attended...
Then you will get comments about the size of your bicpes (mine are pretty muscular,so is the rest of me quite frankly...)
Plus I have huge boobs, so that is another attention getter, and those rude guys started distracting me--thank god for the privacy of my own home.:)
 
You know, this thread makes me appreciate my gym. I never thought about it before, but I've never even seen any young guys there! My gym is full of soccer moms and middle-aged folk reading the Wall St. Journal on the treadmills. I now have a new appreciation for the place. :D
 
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