I need some cheering up

Beth --

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this too. It is so frustrating but it will pass eventually. I know how you're feeling and I'm sending you a big hug.

Thanks to everyone for the wonderful words of encouragement and analogies. Now if I could just picture men as a big fat cigarette -- I'd be home free!

Shonie
 
Wow Beth I am so sorry. Men really are a PIA aren't they? Just reading all these wonderful responses reinforces to me how different men & women are. I'm not gonna fall into the trap of thinking all men are bastards--I mean, they all have their faults (& so do we for that matter)--I'm just gonna believe that we're still kissing frogs.

I know what the happy pill is--it's believing in yourself, working on your own stuff, & knowing the right thing will happen. I always use the cake analogy--your life is a cake, you're the one who bakes it, & while a man could be the icing on top the cake can still taste damn good without him.

So I changed my mind--we're not losers, we're winners b/c we've taken control of our lives & done what's best for ourselves. That takes strength, courage & dignity.

Shonie & Catwoman, I am LMAO thinking of the ex-BF's face on the end of a cigarette. The lit end. It's not a pretty picture LOL.

Hey, I've gone from miserable middle aged lady to cheerleader in like 5 hours. How about me? :p
 
Awwww Max, Max, and Beth-

I'm sorry you guys are dealing with this. If it helps, when I look back on every break-up I went through, they were all definitely worth the initial pain and discomfort.

Do something nice for yourselves - get a haircut, spa treatment, new shoes, new workouts... :)

Hope you all feel better soon.
 
Thanks guys! I've already done the pedicure thing. And the massage thing. And the shopping thing (no shoes though). The bookstore thing. The internet search for "how to be happy". The KPC thing. And the girlfriends night out thing.

I also haven't felt much like eating crap lately -- so I've lost about 7 lbs and am sitting at 14.5% BF as of this morning thanks to working out like a crazy person. So, there! Now I'm HOT and they can't have me! HA!

You guys ROCK! Thanks Max for this thread. I wouldn't have mentioned it myself.

Shonie
 
Maximus, you've gotten so much good advice already. Let me just add this: When my relationship with this guy whom I thought was the greatest love of my life ended, I left home -- for many reasons actually, but one of them was to get as far away from him as possible. A year later, I met this guy whom I married 6 years later, 4 out of those 6 years spent keeping a long-distance relationship. I'm not one to believe in fate, but after almost 14 years, I know where I am is where I'm supposed to be, corny as that sounds.

When I went home to visit a few years ago, a friend of mine told me, "Hey, L. wants to know if you've forgiven him." "Coward!" I thought to myself, but I told this friend, "Tell L. that if we hadn't broken up, I wouldn't have had this incentive to leave home. Then I would never have met my husband. How can I NOT forgive?"

Looking back now, I realize that the best way to get even is to move on.

Pinky
 
The new pair of shoes I bought didn't help, but the massage I got on Sunday sure did!!

Maybe a bright spot, my boss just told me he is going to try and get me a raise. I asked in Nov. and was turned down.

Beth
 
You've come to the right place for some cheering up and support. We're all here for you and we all hurt for you.

My mother told me something years ago that is so true. Things hurt the most at night, when you're in bed by yourself. In the morning for some reason things are more tolerable. Just remember that when your mind starts replaying scenarios at night involving your "previous staff." (That's what I call my ex). Morning will dawn and things will look up a bit.

In the mean time, we're here to listen to you that have pored your hearts and hurts out.

Margaret
 
I really have to disagree on the theory that he didn't care about you because he hasn't tried to contact you. I think it's more that he is giving you space and trying to make the breakup easier for both of you. Plus, pride may keep him from begging. I've been begged before - it's not something that increases respect.
 
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