i hate my skin

[workoutaholic]

Oh boy, I could've written this myself! I had beautiful acne free skin until I got pregnant with my son last year. It's been downhill since then! I went back on the pill after I had him and it's helped immensely, but it's still not like it used to be. Lots of little bumps that I can feel, but are fortunately not terribly visible. And the scarring! Oh the scarring! I've learned to deal with it, but it's frustrating to know what you used to look like, and you can't get there now, no matter how hard you try!

It is crazy how we are all so different. I've always had acne, and when I was pregnant (have a 21 month old), my skin was sooo much better! : ) Ever since I had him, it all came back. sigh

 

[kariev]

thanks you guys for all the wonderful support. its so great to have a place to come and vent. i was suprised today that my husband told me he wants me to stop tanning and always wear sunscreen b/c if i don't i will look like my mom! i didn't take offense to this b/c my moms skin looks terrible! I don't want to look like that at 55. my husband is 100% italian so he has beautiful skin. it sounds silly but all this time i figured he found me more attractive with a tan so i was always so paranoid of going pale. i should have known better than that. i need to stop with all this crazy thinking and making other people happy or doing things based on what people think i should do.

 

[Hermia]

Since you are of Irish descent, is your hair a shade of red? (sorry if you mentioned that earlier, but I haven't read all the replies). I think hair of any shade of red with pale skin is beautiful, and it looks, to me, natural. IMHO a tan with red hair looks unnatural. At least, I haven't yet seen that combo in a way that looked natural to me. I have auburn hair and I'm quite pale. I absolutely do not tan, although I tried to when I was younger. I had this idea that that was what skin was supposed to look like to be beautiful, the one way. Now, I feel differently. I think it's wonderful how many ways there are to be beautiful; there's no "one way", whatever the media would have us think. I get good natured teasing occasionally because of my super pale skin (especially my tummy!), but I don't care. I wear sunscreen all the time. I'm not trying to look like I microwaved myself. Tanning is really not good for you! My mom has always tanned, and the negative effects of that have come to fruition. She's had to have suspicious bumps, moles, etc removed from her skin. It's best to be healthy!

 

[beautifulsoul]

Hi,

I couldn't resist weighing in on this. I'm a honey blonde with very pale Scandinavian skin. I glow in the dark, I often joke. I'm 43 turning 44 in a couple of weeks. I first realized I was never meant to be tan when I got a second degree burn with blisters on my legs from just setting in the shade on a sunny day by the water. My doctor then told me that being very fair and being of Scandinavian or Northern European decent put me in a very high risk category for skin cancer. I was horrified. He told me to avoid direct sunlight and use a sunscreen with a minimum of SPF 30 + at all time. Also suggested I think about wearing a hat or something with a big brim to protect my skin from the sun. Even as a child I never liked the feeling of being cooked laying out in the sun, I always burned and never tanned. So, when I had that nasty second degree burn on my legs in my twenties I decided if God wanted me tanned he'd have made me that way. Besides, I do know people who are major sun worshippers that are about 10-15 years or so older than me and they look like weathered crepey leather, but tanned leather. It does age a person not to mention the skin cancer issue which is a much bigger issue. I even have heard dermatoligists and cosmetic surgeons on talk shows say the absolute best thing you can do to make your skin look younger and prevent skin care and aging is to stay out of the sun and use sunscreen. They said there is nothing you can buy in a jar, tube, or bottle to change that sunscreen of SPF of 30+ is a necessity not just for vanity but for your health. So, I have wisely years ago embraced my fair skin. I even have people think I'm in my late twenties to early thirties So I gratefully embrace that. Now, I have MS and have to avoid extreme heat too!

Now for the oily skin issue, I'm so there. I have oily skin and acne. I too have tried proactive, it helped a little but then it was just too expensive to keep up with. I have now stumbled on to a skin care regimine that does work for my oily and acne skin.

Here's what I use:

I use don't laugh, crisco, for makeup remover- works awesome.
I use a gentle cleanser- Generic Cetaphil- very good to cleanser, love it. This does not strip skin of oils and kicking the oil glands into overtime production.
I make my own skin toner- Be sure to always dilute apple cider vinegar by half. I specifically fill a 16oz empty clean bottle with 8oz apple cider vinegar and then use 3 to 5 Green tea bags to steep in hot water in a normal size coffee mug. When its cooled I add that to the bottle of apple cider vinegar. You now have a super charged anti oxident green tea toner with natural disinfectant- which is great for acne. Acne is bacterial mini infection of the pore, so this works awesome for me. I use a SPF of 30+ that I pour a little on a finger and combine Lubriderm moisturizer mix them together then apply liberally all over face and neck. Then I use Fruit of the Earth (brand name) 100% clear Aloe Vera Gel as a makeup primer. Aloe is great for the skin and this also has vitamin E in it also great for skin. This takes only a 1min or less to dry and leaves a matte finish to apply make up over.

Facial Mask= I use 100% Clay only cat litter that I grind to a powder. This type of kitty litter is the usually the least expensive and only has the 100% clay, not scented, not the kind that changes color or any of that. I mix about 1 tsp or so of the ground clay with a tiny bit of warm water just enough to make a paste with then spread on my face. Just wait to dry which is pretty fast. Then rinse. I ususally follow that up with a good exfolliation scrub I make. I use Raw Sugar/regular sugar filling a small butter tub half full and equal parts powdered milk then put lid on and shake it up. Then I just use about 1tsp or so in my palm and liberally apply working into my premoistened face. This exfolliates great and leaves my skin feeling smooth as a babies bottom. This also helps remove dead skin cells and kind of make a natural lower dose version of a glycolic acid also great for oily skin with acne. It gives your face a nice glow. I do the mask and exfoliator I make probably 3 times a week, but that's what work's for me. You may want to do it less often or tailor to your needs.
As for make up I like mineral makeup I use Everyday Minerals. Its very light and looks more natural and best part, my skin doesn't have breakouts as often, so I love that part! Ok, that's just my little bit. I'll get off my soap box, just wanted to share the info, maybe someonelse can use it too.

Hugs! from Nora the fair

Nora - thank you for posting this, I am going to try it. I have very oily skin and tired of proactive bleaching all my clothes!

 

[SirenSongWoman]

For God's sake don't tan. Have you ever seen those little old leathery-skinned ladies? Here's a tip: They aren't old, they just LOOK old, thanks to all the skin-damaging tanning they did when they were younger. Remember how you cried or whined as a kid and your mom would say "Keep that up and I'll give you something to really cry about"? Well, keep that up and you'll have something to really cry about later!

Dig this: I'm pale as a vampire. For the first time since I lost a lot of weight and got serious about iron I wore a tank top (because I finally had shoulders) and shorts with about a 7 or 8" inseam at work yesterday (because my legs had finally slimmed down enough). My workplace gets very hot and my job is super physical so it was a relief to finally feel air on my neck and shoulders. Reactions were predictable, especially since really pale skin, for some reason, just looks more naked than tanned skin. Most people were congratulatory. The women were glad I finally came to work dressed for the heat (no way, LAST year); the guys whistled, remarked, and stared; and the usual coven of witches whispered and hissed amongst themselves. But at one point I asked my friend, Patty, if she thought maybe it was too soon for me to move from tees to tanks and bermuda's to shorter shorts and she said "Girrrrrl, you look GOOD. Everyone's talking about you." Then she hesitated and said "One thing, though... Everyone thinks you're too white... You need to get a SPRAY-ON TAN..." This is why I love Patty. She gives it to me straight: You aren't too fat, you're too white." And I had considered people might need to wear sun glasses when they saw my legs but, being a "red" head, I thought I'd get a pass. Nope. But I am what I am and because I like my pale skin (and because I really don't want to get into the expense and hassle of a "tan") I'm not going to do that. BUT, I think a spray-on tan is IDEAL for women who just have to be brown. You get the tan without the damage. So if you have to be tan, please check into that.

As for skin ISSUES, I have all kinds of weird pigmentation problems on my face and neck that, luckily, are easily covered with makeup. But when people see my naked face they think I'm sick. When I'm back to making some money I'm going to do something about it. What, I don't know, but it's allegedly fixable. So no, it's not just you.

 

[janie1234]

I LOVE my freckles, hate my acne. If I were you I would worry more about skin cancer. My husband is a surfer and outdoorsy type who lived on Maui for 18 years, surfing everyday with no sunscreen. A few years ago he had to have a few suspicious moles removed because the doc's thought that they may be cancerous. I believe sunscreen is the one cosmetic that I could not live without and my freckles, . . I love my freckles, . . they give me character.

 

[RapidBreath]

wow they are mean

i get sooooo pale and feel poorly about myself b/c i get such wisecracks from my family about being white.

I am very white too. I don't have that many freckles. But, I am Irish too. I have had extremely serious sunburns (blackened like grilled chicken, burnt my retnas) I completely commiserate. However, because of my burn history I shun the sun and I have embraced my paleness. There is no skin color for which anyone should be embarrassed. You don't need to be self conscious about your skin color. You were just designed for a different climate. I do know how you feel, my mother was a beautiful copper color until she got sick with lupus and could no longer tolerate the sun.

 

[kariev]

hi ladies i'm back from Costa Rica! We had an amazing time. I didn't get a lick of sun. I applied my spf 30 religiously but thats not what protected me. I remained in the shade under the rainforest canopy tops due to the immense heat! I couldn't have tanned if i tried LOL. You could literally see the steam coming off the sand on the beach. I had brought some sunless tanner too but it was too humid to apply. Where we go there is no electriciy and the houses are all open so no AC. The nights were pleasant but DAMN it was hot in the day time. The second you stepped out of the shower you started to sweat so there was no way to apply sunless. I have had some urges to tan but i just keep looking at my skin and thinking to myself "if i keep it up, i'm going to look 80 within the next 10 yrs" Thanks ladies for all of your suggestions. I'm really hoping to reverse some of the damage that i have done to my skin. Its been 10 days thus far UV free and i'm going strong.