husbands

[rachel2]

Anyone else have a less than supportive husband? I only workout 4-5 times a week for an hour or so. My husband nearly throws a party every time I take a day off. He watches the baby, 18months old, while I exercise but I know he doesn't mind. I need to loose about 10 lbs or so, still breastfeeding. Yet, he doesn't sympathize with my "need" to be fit. Anybody else in the same boat?

 

[Joanna]

Hang in there!

I really empathize with what you are feeling right now. I was so motivated to lose weight after each pregnancy, and often felt like my husband wanted me to lose but did not understand my drive. I chalk it up to his inability to really relate to the total body transformation of pregnancy - don't you wish they knew what it felt like?

I finally had to decide that my fitness was important to me, no matter what my husband's reaction. I also found that my disciplined effort challenged him to get into shape as well. I am happy for you that he'll watch the baby - my husband was always working

...

With support from a been there, done that, mother of five, in her forties, who still is exercising...

Joanna

 

[RachelHH]

Hi Rachel.

I have had at times a less than supportive husband, too. He is much better these days. We have come to realize that we see the issue of fitness differently. He can honestly say that I have always looked the same to him (whether I was 2 weeks post-partum or 6 months into a running program). He just doesn't see the differences in my body. He says I always look good to him. I think a lot of spouses don't understand what hard work it is to meet our fitness goals. The only advice I can give is to do what you need to do to feel healthy and strong. If he acts pouty about your workout time, so be it. No one has ever died from pouting. Ignore it and keep it up. I HAD to exercise after the birth of my children. It was absolutely the only thing that saved my sanity and relieved the stress of that crazy first year time. Good luck and keep at it.

 

[momincharge]

Amen to saving your sanity!

This is me and exercise post partum. It is the only thing that keeps me sane during that stressful, hormone filled span! There has to be some sense of self left in there!

 

[LAParent]

There was a similar VF thread a little while back..

I know because I started it! There was a lot of great advice, I'd recommend looking it up.
I don't think most men are raised to be supportive, or are expected to be supportive in the working world. Thus, it isn't too suprising when they lack in this skill at home!

 

[rachel2]

thanks moms

Thanks for the advice. It helps to know that I am not alone, especially from a mother of five who actually survived!

 

[Jul]

Another "been there, done that" Mom

I have 3 kids and continued exercising during pregnancy and postpartum. I also nursed each of my kids for a year. I really felt like I needed that workout time because it was the only quiet time just for ME! Even after getting up a couple times during the night, I got up 3-4 mornings at 4:45 to exercise before going to school (I teach). My hubby also had trouble understanding why it was so important, especially when I'd complain about how tired I was! He recently started working out himself and that's when he told me that I had always made him feel kind of guilty that he wasn't exercising too. I never asked him to or even talked about it, but just seeing me do it was enough to make him feel guilty, which caused some resentment. Maybe your hubby feels like he should be exercising to, but doesn't really want to, as mine did. Good luck!

 

[Lora]

Husband supportive but not son.

Hi Rachel,
My husband thinks it's great, even though I can't get him to workout too. He is a builder and thinks he get enough exercise. I keep telling him he needs a cardio workout too. But my 15 year old really gives me a hard time. He like to make snide remarks that are very insulting. Or he imitates me by jumping around like a crazy guy. I just ask him if he wants a fat mother. He never answers me but I know he doesn't, no teenager does. He didn't mind me teaching his Sea Scout troup swimming last year and I know he would of if I'd been over weight. So I try my best to workout when he isn't around.
Does anyone have a hard time with people not understanding why you like to read this forum? I get that too. Oh well. We know why.

Lora.