Hurt by a friend

lynne12

Cathlete
I am so hurt by what my so-called friend has done! background: we work together on a similar file but in different offices and different colleagues - she and I have known each other for 12 years. she was instrumental in helping me get my job and another one before that. in return, i've helped her get at least one other job and have thrown work her way when she was down...

I won't get into the awful details but let's just say she has accused me of deliberately trying to 'take over' her files and that I've never been a team player and that all of her colleagues at her office had been warning her for months about me.

Boy talking about massive hurt! I gotta tell ya - I'd never do anything to hurt her or to take over her files at work. NEVER. I wrote her an email after we had an argument over the phone and described to her how hurt i was by her comments. Her respose via email? "oh please" then she went on to list all of her griveances with me concerning this particular file and that she'd been warned about me. it was like a memo - no heart, nothing! just cold hard facts that she says proove I'm out to get her. each thing, btw, can be easily explained and I've already done so many times.

Words can't describe how hurt I am or how I feel! I've never felt so low or so betrayed by a so-called friend. Its painful beyond belief!! I just can't believe that #1 - she believes her colleagues at work & not me (who has been her friend for 12 years) #2 that she thinks I"m that conniving to even WANT to take over her files ( i have enough on my plate thanks very much, without taking on her worries.)

Its painful. Sorry for the rant....

but in my 38 years - I can honestly say, I've never felt so hurt by accusations...;(
 
Lynne: i'm very sorry. that is terrible!:-( i hope it works out for the two of you, but it doesn't sound like she is the right place to be a friend right now. (((hugs)))

jes
 
Lynne, I too, am very sorry. I personally know how miscommunication can be the root of many arguments. Maybe, give her a cooling off period & then try to talk to her. Maybe, just backing off of anything that she might have a hand in. I can sense the hurt you feel, but she, too, might feel just as hurt.

Marla
 
Wow, that is tough. I think you just learned that your friend isn't really much of a friend :( I second the advice to just sit back and let time calm her. Then you might be better able to talk things out. It sounds like she has some issues that she'd like to work on as well in the friendship. In the interim, try to remember that sometimes people listen to others when they should not and people make those kinds of bad choices. It's not an excuse for her but it does happen.

I am sorry though..that stinks x(

Christine
 
Thanks everyone. It has been an awful 24 hours for me. I have never felt so betrayed. I didn't sleep last night and I'm crying at the drop of a hat! I've never had such a blow-up with a friend. Anyway, I am backing off -for no other reason than to protect myself at this point. I just can't handle dealing with it now - it hurts too much. I feel as though I've broken up with a husband or something, its terrible. but thanks for the support everyone
 

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