How to fire your hair stylist...

S

step_a_holic

Cathlete
When she's your sister-in-law!

I really need some advice here ladies. My SIL has been cutting my hair for a couple of years now and does a good job. I was having someone else highlight my hair though since I just never felt comfortable with my SIL's coloring abilities. She is a professional and works in a salon, but just a little too funky for my taste as far as some of the colorings I've seen her produce, mainly on my sister. Anyway, I have had her color my hair now for about the last four times I've needed it done and needless to say, I have not been thrilled about the outcome.

Friday night was the straw that broke the camels back. She colored my hair all medium brown, which is close to my natural color (which is what I'm trying to get to), then she put three thick stripes of blonde (the bangs, the middle of my head and one right at the crown). But, not a nice blonde, more like an orangey-blonde. So Saturday morning she called me to see if I liked it and I told her that I liked the cut and the brown color, but not too crazy about the "highlights". So she told me to come right down to the salon and she'd fix it. Now, I have like ash blonde highlights on the top with a purplish color mixed in here and there.

I apologize for the length of this, but I am just fed up. I really don't want her coloring my hair again and I really want to go back to my previous colorist, but I know her feelings will be really hurt.

Any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated.

Just as a little tidbit of info: my sister also had her hair done and she wanted one dark burgandy-ish chunk (her hair is naturally dark brown). Her "chunk" came out two shades of orange!!!!

As I'm writing this, I'm chuckling because it's just ridiculous!!!

Thanks ladies!

Melissa
 
One more thing, she cut my hair as well and my daughter (six) pointed out to me that it's longer on one side than the other...and she's right. It's a bob cut and it's fairly noticable!

Melissa
 
Sorry to hear about your experiences with your hair lady. I think life is too short to have hair nightmares. I would go to your choice of a hair stylist and never mention to SIL your hair again. Never bring it up and if it is brought up...smile politely and nod. I had a similar situation with a family member and it has worked for me.

Good Luck!
 
I agree. This is a situation you'll have to dance around a little. I would go back to my normal colorist & not mention it to my SIL. If she brings it up just try to be tactful and say something like you've been seeing your colorist for so long now it's too late for you to switch.
 
Thanks LauraMax & Melissa. I like that. I'm just not going to say anything at all and just move on.

I'm actually going to see my SIL tonight and I'll have to mind my manners if she asks me how I like my hair!

Thanks again. I was sitting here getting all flustered trying to figure out how to approach it and it never occured to me to not even address it and just start going back to my other colorist. I feel much better now!

Have a great day!

Melissa
 
Just chiming in to agree with Melissa and Laura.

I've had a similar kind of problem where I was using one stylist at a salon and wanted to try another. It was hard, but I did it. The first stylist came by to say hello and we had a pleasant chat, and that was it. He didn't bring it up and neither did I. I was very relieved.

-Nancy

I just had to come back to edit to add that I didn't mean to imply that my situation was the same. Obviously, your relationship with your SIL means more to you than my relationship with my old stylist meant to me, and therefore your situation is more difficult.

Good luck!
 
I'm going through the same dilema. I want to fire my stylist/friend that I've had for years. My problem is we have traded services for years too. I groom her dog, she does my hair. It's worked out great until recently. She got a second job and is so overwhelmed she is putting her hair salon on the back burner. She is always stressed when I go in. Always on the verge of crying. Always combing way to aggessive like. Always on the phone stressing to who knows who. Always late. Sometimes a no show. She even said she felt she was doing my hair way more than I groom her dog. She forgets she is neglecting her dog also! It makes getting my hair done so miserable. She is my friend, but I cannot handle the drama in her life anymore. I want to relax when I get my hair done. I have an appointment next week and I'm trying to figure a way to cancel and never return without hurting her feelings. I'll be thrown out into the cold with no hair stylist though. YIKES!
 
That's sweet of you Nancy! I didn't think you were implying anything and I appreciate your input. It'll be hard at first, but hair is hair, darn it. If it doesn't look good, it doesn't look good.

And to comment on your dilema sunnyside, I want to relax when I get my hair done too. Not feel stressed. When I went back the next day to have her "fix" it, I sat there processing forever. Well after the buzzer went off. She kept taking walk-ins and asking me to wait "2 more minutes". Normally I would not have minded, but I had by 6 year old with me and she was getting very restless. I felt so bad for her!

Don't get me wrong, my SIL is a wonderful girl, just maybe not a wonderful stylist!!!;-)

Melissa
 
I agree Melissa. I want their full attention. I hate when they get distacted. At least you have another stylist. but like you, I just feel so bad leaving, like I'm being mean or hateful or something. It's so dumb. LOL!
 
Sunnyside...I think the same advice can work for you. Cancel and don't mention rescheduling. Don't talk about...don't bring it up. Problem solved! I hope...
 
I'm laughing because my SIL is also a hair stylist, and I have NEVER let her touch my head for the reasons you've just talked about!

I would just go where you want to and let the situation die on its own!
 
Well CRAP!! My idea didn't work well. I called her and said I wanted to cancel. I said I have something going on that day and I'm not sure when I can come in. Well then she tried to reschedule and I said I wasn't sure when I could come. Then she said "Are you mad because I've been so scattered brained?" I said, I'm just not sure when I can come. This went on for about 30 sec. WAY to long and uncomfortable. LOL! I thought everything was cool and then she just called back (I didn't answer, machine got it) and she wants me to groom her dog and TALK! Now What? Geez, I just want out! Now it's going to be more drama.

Melissa, I hope your firing goes better than mine.

PS. I think I have one out. My neice just started Hair school. Will she believe me if I say I'm going to have her practice on me? This is hard because she is kind of a friend. Lesson to all. Don't let friends or relatives or anyone somewhat involved in your life cut and color your hair.

Utah Melissa, I tried the quick and easy don't talk to much route, but I failed real bad. LOL! DANG!
 
Hey! It's YOUR hair! You're the one who has to walk around with it and you DESERVE to feel good about it. Just try to be as polite as you can. Her feelings will be hurt, but the bottom line is that you deserve to be happy. She will get over it.
Good luck!!
 
sunnyside, I feel bad for you! That must have been torture.

I think using your niece is a good out. I hope it works for you!!!

UT Melissa, I'm going to go with your suggestion and hope I don't end up in sunnyside's predicament!

You are right Muffin Top! Every woman deserves good hair!

I actually am seeing my family tonight and I can't wait to see if anyone comments in front of my SIL that my hair is two different lengths! I can bet it'll either be my daughter that will say something, since she's the one who discovered it, or my brother (SIL's hubby), because he'd never let something like that slide!

At least it's giving me a good laugh. :)

Take care everyone.

Melissa
 
Sunnyside! OH MY! What a mess now eh?! Do you owe her a dog groom session? I would just do it and try to avoid the hair thing. It will be tough but it may work...Praying for you! UHGHGHGHGH!
 
Utah Melissa, Yes I do own her a grooming. I just mustered up the guts to call her back and scheduled her dog. She asked again if I was mad, because she had a few other customers that got REALLY mad at her. I lied and said no and that I was growing my hair out and that I might have my neice color it the next time. So, I'm ok for now. I hope! I was real close to telling her that I was disappointed and felt uncomfortable, I didn't like being the brunt of all her personal life issues, but kept my mouth shut. Wow. What a crazy situation.

Good luck with you Melissa. Get out as fast as you can. LOL!!
 
Uh, I had a similar problem - with my MOM!:eek: For years she cut and colored my hair. All of a sudden she just was not doing it right anymore. I REALLY didn't want to hurt her feelings. Since I have 3 kids and she did not live close to me, I turned it around and said that I couldn't wait that long to get my hair cut (from visit to visit with her). She also got very busy and I told her she had enough on her plate right now, that I'd try to find someone closer to me but I appreciated all that she had done (and I did , she saved me a bundle of $ over the years). Maybe you can use some form of that on sil.

Now I am thinking of finding someone else again. I have been going to the same guy for several years now. He has cut and at times foiled my hair blond - other years I just colored my hair at home (brown). I recently decided I wanted to go blonde again. Since I have so much gray, he has to color it brown first , then foil it blond. Well, the last time he used a darker brown than I had been using and only foiled it a little - so I walked out 3 hours later with basically the same color I had when I walked in - light brown! Only I was out $160 (including the color, highlight and cut)! I know there was no way he could have looked at my hair and told me $160 and not known that was not what I wanted or that he had done $160 worth of stuff to me!

But I am scared! Changing stylists for a haircut is one thing, color is another! Plus everyone else in my house goes to that salon (but a different stylist). So, If ds wants a haircut I will have to hide my blonde head out in the parking lot! Why does changing stylists feel equivalant to cheating on my spouse? Marnie
 
Update: saw my SIL last night and she did not notice that my hair was two different lengths. She did however ask me if I was happy with it and I really didn't give her an answer. She said "the purple has faded already!" But it really hasn't. I just don't think she gets it.

Nancy, I contemplated setting my daughter up to mention the two different lengths in my hair, }( , but I was afraid it would backfire on me!!!

Moving on ladies... I'm giving it a couple of weeks (if I can stand it that long), then I'm calling up my previous stylist to make an appt.

Melissa :)
 
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