Help for friend who doesn't like to "exercise"

[patricia024]

Hi everyone,
Just wondering if you could give me a little assistance!

A friend of mine (I just met her in May through my bf) and I were talking the other day. She said that since she's been married for 2 years, she has gained about 30 pounds. She has stated that she has problems with her feet so doesn't like to walk or just "exercise" in that sense. She's tired all the time; is a great cook and has realized that she needs to learn "portion" control. She's always "active" (doing housework/lawn work) but still can't lose weight. She feels guilty for "taking time for herself" when she knows there's so much housework! She works full-time during the school year. She has tried the "Total Gym" but she admitted that if she doesn't see results within a couple of weeks, she gives up! She wants to see results "now"!

She asked me for suggestions. This is some of what I told her but would really appreciate other suggestions or advice from you!

I just mentioned that even though she may be busy "working" around the house, it's best to get the heart rate up for at least 30 min. 3-5 times a week (hope that's correct!) and that's where some cardio will come in (like biking...easy on the joints, etc). Also, she should schedule time for herself to workout about 3 times a week; housework will always be there! I suggested weight training 2-3 times a week. In my opinion, I think she would benefit more from lifting 3-5 pound dumbbells than using the Total Gym. I was going to suggest doing 3 exercises for each body part for 15-18 reps. Any thoughts or more suggestions???

I have a couple of videos for her that I have sitting around: They are 08 Min Buns, Karen Voight with Elle MacPherson and Karen Voight Strong & Smooth Moves. My friend doesn't want to spend "alot" of time exercising!

Thanks for ALL of YOUR HELP! I really appreciate it! ((I will be seeing her tomorrow and will be taking a couple of bikes along so hopefully I can at least get her out for a bike ride!)


~~Patti~~

 

[ldy_solana]

RE: Help for friend who doesn't like to

well she has identified that her portions are a problem so she can start there with that(as well as the quality of food-fresh is best!!!). but she has to really start to understand that results don't come over night!she didn't get this way overnight so she is not going to bounce back into shape overnight. i think consistency and finding a program that works for her(is it effective,fun and enjoyable, and able to fit into her day) will get results just not in a few weeks.

and let her know short workouts are better then NO workouts. even starting 10 min. a day would help her get into the routine then gradually add on more and more. i go to bed early so i can get up early enough to get a workout in. i work during the school year too and raise an autistic child and deal with the drama of life like anybody else so time shouldn't really be an excuse anymore. if she wants it she will put in the time,dedication to better her health. otherwise there is not much else you can do as a friend but support her when she is ready. baby steps are the best way that way one doesn't feel overwhelmed and i think that is where you can be a good motivator for her.

i have been working out consistently for over 8 years now with videos at home. there have been some drastic changes in me but they took all those 8 years to get where i am now and its going to take some more time to get where i want to be. i have cut out a lot of not so healthy items out of my diet and don't even crave them that much anymore. i still have more work to do in that department but my exercising is a great experience every time. i am usually pumped and excited to get to a workout no matter what it is. but when i started it was 10-12 min every other day then build up to about 15 min a few more days a week until i was doing 45-60 min 5-6 days a week. i always tried new things to see what i liked and eventually have gotten myself a good collection of videos. this could be her story too.

also if she has netflix, great way to try new workouts and see what suits her!!! very large selection of all level workouts and all types of workouts. just read carefully to see if equipment is needed but some workouts you can modify without them.

HTH some, lately when i hear stories like this i have to be blunt and say that change has to come from that person and when they stop making excuses its amazing where they can take themselves with the right attitude.

EDIT TO ADD: i just re-read and saw that she has some feet issues. maybe she should check with a doctor to make sure its not an issue to start a program. i had lots of issues from previous injuries that got much better over time b/c i work out. maybe let her know that as well.

kassia

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[Nadja Z]

RE: Help for friend who doesn't like to

I think maybe you need to explain to her that "seeing results now" and not "exercising" are probably going to be mutually exclusive. A good diet and mild workout plan could definitely lend itself to a gradual but steady weight loss, but she's only going to get what she puts into it. I don't think there's a whole lot you can do for her in that regard, other than try to be a model for a healthy lifestyle, and hope something clicks in her brain that makes her *want* to do it.

Has she had her feet checked by a specialist? Who knows, maybe they're troubling her because of the stress from the extra weight.

There's probably several activities she could do (maybe cycling, swimming, in-line skating or skiing, yoga, pilates, rowing, etc.) if she decides that fitness is a priority for her. But imo, it seems like changing her mindset is going to be 99% of the battle, and that's something she'll just have to do herself.

I think the best thing you could do is just include her in as much enjoyable and social physical activity as possible. Perhaps you could do a nightly walk together. In no way is "taking time for herself" wrong, but getting exercise doesn't necessarily have to be either. She could go for a walk with the kids, take them to the park, on a bike ride, etc. You can be in her corner and help her out as much as possible, but you can't lift the dumbbells for her.

Nadja

 

[LauraMax]

RE: Help for friend who doesn't like to

Honey, your GF has more excuses than a centipede has legs! I don't want to come off as negative, & I think what you're trying to do is very generous & sweet, & I can completely understand your wanting to share something you love w/someone you care about, but I think committing to exercise is very much like quitting an addiction. It won't happen until a person is truly ready to make that commitment.

I think for now you should be there for her when she has questions or needs advice, but don't try to push anything on her. Don't be too surprised or disappointed if she bails on you b/c it is likely to happen.

I've been through this so often w/my friends & after having my feelings hurt more times than I can count I gave up. Now I'm there when they need me, but I don't volunteer anything.

Something positive: I really do hope she doesn't bail on you & you end up w/a committed exercise partner!

 

[cakebaker]

RE: Help for friend who doesn't like to

I would suggest that she join a gym & hire a trainer - if she has to pay for her help, she may take it more seriously. I wouldn't want to even try to help her - too many excuses!

 

[patricia024]

RE: Help for friend who doesn't like to

Hi Ladies,
Yes, my friend goes to a podiatrist and has heel spurs but it's the tendon that runs under the foot that's the problem! So I suggested riding bike. (I've tried helping a co-worker like her before and after a few weeks, she bailed. So I won't be surprised if this happens to my friend.) She's the one that initiated the conversation about exercise (which I love!). But I'll continue to encourage her and "be there for her" if she needs the motivation.

Thanks for your suggestions/advice!

~~Patti~~

 

[Beavs]

RE: Help for friend who doesn't like to

I'm glad your friend has approached you but try not to get disappointed if you find her still making excuses. As they say, the only place success comes before sweat is in the dictionary.

 

[hula_girl]

RE: Help for friend who doesn't like to

i have problems with the tendon on the bottoms of both my feet as well. she should spend time at least three times a day stretching out the bottome of her foot. gently, of course. once it starts to loosen up walking is actually great for keeping these tendons loose. running is horrible. she will needs to realize that those tendons take time to loosen. maybe she should look into getting the boot you wear at night for plantar faciatis (sp?)

Shelby