Guilt with second child??

[Carolina Girl]

We have a beautiful 16 month old little girl; and now that we are trying to decide when to start trying for another, I feel guilty thinking about splitting my time between two, when my daughter is so accustomed to having me all to herself. Anyone else struggle with this?

 

[EricaH]

I have four kids and I do struggle with guilt over being torn between them and never feeling like what I do is enough for everyone.

But, I will say that my children are very close - especially my three older boys. I have always said that the best gift I ever gave my oldest son was his younger brother. They are soul mates and best friends (18 and 15 years old). Maybe your children will be playmates and good friends to each other for a lifetime.

Erica

 

[chefkate]

I worried about this too when I was pregnant w/ #2. I wondered how on earth I was going to even LOVE my 2nd as much as my 1st. But your heart grows w/ each baby and you love your children for different things at different times. My girls are 7, 5, and almost 1. During my 3rd baby's 1st year I did feel like I missed out on a lot w/ the older girls school activities and that is a CON for me in deciding whether or not to have a 4th - I'd hate to miss out on that much again. BUt I think some of that the kids don't even notice - it's just good ol' Mom Guilt that never leaves no matter what we do. HTH!

 

[EricaH]

it's just good ol' Mom Guilt that never leaves no matter what we do.

That's for sure!

Erica

 

[melanalyus]

Good advise from Erica & Kate (both excellent moms, BTW).

My 2nd child is more "high maintenance".....and would like the world to center around him. If we didn't have moe children....well, life would have centered around him. He has learned to grow into a much richer person as a result of his baby brother.....and we are hopeful that they will all continue to grow when the twins arrive.

 

[Sissy1983]

i am feeling the same exact way. We are currently trying for #2, and my son is currently going to be 2 in december. I dont know how people do it with 2 babies. I have a hard time keeping up with him, never mind another one! haha! but i guess you figure it out right? DH and I feel that he needs a sibling soon to make him understand that its not always going to be about "him" Great advice!

melissa