* Herman's Hermits - Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
* The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
* Bobby Darin - Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
* Ringo Starr - I Get By With a Little Help from Depends
* Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
* Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly Now
* Paul Simon - Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
* Commodores - Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
* Marvin Gaye - I Heard it Through the GrapeNuts
* Procol Harem - A Whiter Shade of Hair
* Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping
* The Temptations - Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
* Abba - Denture Queen
* Tony Orlando - Knock 3 Times on the Ceiling if you Hear Me Fall
* Helen Reddy - I am Woman, Hear me Snore
* Willie Nelson - On the Throne Again
* Leslie Gore - It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To
* The Angels - My Boyfriend's Dead
* The Outsiders - Time Won't Let Me Do Anything
* The Box Tops - Bend Me, Shake Me Out Of My Coma
* Pete Seeger - This Land Is Your Land, Thanks to My Will
* Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Cleaner
* Betty Everett - The Droop Droop Song
* The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Feeling In Your Left Leg
* Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling Down The Stairs and Breaking My Hip
* Nancy Sinatra - These Slippers Are Made For Keeping My Feet Warm When The House Gets a Little Chilly
* Van Morrison: My Gallstone Girl
* Eric Clapton: It grows hair, it grows hair, it grows hair.....Rogaine
* The Stones: Time Is Not on My Side
* The Stones: Get Off My Lawn
* James Brown: Papa's Got a Brand New Colostomy Bag
* Tony Bennet: I left my heart in... Uh... Where was I?
* Moody Blues: Lovely to See You Again...with these new bifocals
* Simon & Garfunkel: Hello Darkness My Old Friend (now how will I find my Depends?)
* Going to the Chapel (And We're Gonna Get Buried)
* The Box Tops: The Letter--not one of those newfangled emails!
* "Predecease Me" by Kitty Wills
o Predecease me (you die first)
'cause you're the one who'd feel the worst
to think of me without a friend
Predecease me...and let me love again
* Amazing Grave (How Sweet the Mound)
* Paul Simon: Call me Al (Zheimer)
* The Beach Boys: Be True To Your Stool; Good Vibrators; Help Me, OnStar
* The Beatles: Dear Prunejuice; Drive My Golfcart; Got To Get It Into My Wife; I Am The Wal-Mart; I Should Have Known Betty
* The Rolling Stones: 90th Nervous Breakdown; {I Can't Get No) Sam's Club Action; Let's Spend The 401K Together
* Janis Joplin: Me and Wobbly Knee
* Creedence Clearwater Recovery: Who'll stop the pain
* Pete Seeger: Where Have All The Hours Gone?
* Bob Dylan: Blowin’ (I’ve Got Wind)
* Beatles: "Will you still need me..." When I'm Seventy-four
* Van Halen: "Hot Flashes for Teacher"
* Little richard: Fruity Tootie
* The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
* Bobby Darin - Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
* Ringo Starr - I Get By With a Little Help from Depends
* Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
* Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly Now
* Paul Simon - Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
* Commodores - Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
* Marvin Gaye - I Heard it Through the GrapeNuts
* Procol Harem - A Whiter Shade of Hair
* Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping
* The Temptations - Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
* Abba - Denture Queen
* Tony Orlando - Knock 3 Times on the Ceiling if you Hear Me Fall
* Helen Reddy - I am Woman, Hear me Snore
* Willie Nelson - On the Throne Again
* Leslie Gore - It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To
* The Angels - My Boyfriend's Dead
* The Outsiders - Time Won't Let Me Do Anything
* The Box Tops - Bend Me, Shake Me Out Of My Coma
* Pete Seeger - This Land Is Your Land, Thanks to My Will
* Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Cleaner
* Betty Everett - The Droop Droop Song
* The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Feeling In Your Left Leg
* Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling Down The Stairs and Breaking My Hip
* Nancy Sinatra - These Slippers Are Made For Keeping My Feet Warm When The House Gets a Little Chilly
* Van Morrison: My Gallstone Girl
* Eric Clapton: It grows hair, it grows hair, it grows hair.....Rogaine
* The Stones: Time Is Not on My Side
* The Stones: Get Off My Lawn
* James Brown: Papa's Got a Brand New Colostomy Bag
* Tony Bennet: I left my heart in... Uh... Where was I?
* Moody Blues: Lovely to See You Again...with these new bifocals
* Simon & Garfunkel: Hello Darkness My Old Friend (now how will I find my Depends?)
* Going to the Chapel (And We're Gonna Get Buried)
* The Box Tops: The Letter--not one of those newfangled emails!
* "Predecease Me" by Kitty Wills
o Predecease me (you die first)
'cause you're the one who'd feel the worst
to think of me without a friend
Predecease me...and let me love again
* Amazing Grave (How Sweet the Mound)
* Paul Simon: Call me Al (Zheimer)
* The Beach Boys: Be True To Your Stool; Good Vibrators; Help Me, OnStar
* The Beatles: Dear Prunejuice; Drive My Golfcart; Got To Get It Into My Wife; I Am The Wal-Mart; I Should Have Known Betty
* The Rolling Stones: 90th Nervous Breakdown; {I Can't Get No) Sam's Club Action; Let's Spend The 401K Together
* Janis Joplin: Me and Wobbly Knee
* Creedence Clearwater Recovery: Who'll stop the pain
* Pete Seeger: Where Have All The Hours Gone?
* Bob Dylan: Blowin’ (I’ve Got Wind)
* Beatles: "Will you still need me..." When I'm Seventy-four
* Van Halen: "Hot Flashes for Teacher"
* Little richard: Fruity Tootie
