Does anyone have more than 1 child??

MARY1616

MARY1616

Cathlete
Hi,

I was wondering if anyone had to go through the toddler and newborn phase together. My dh and I are thingking about another baby and I am wondering how I can manage a toddler and newborn together. I remember everyone always saying to sleep while the baby sleeps but that would be a little more challenging with a toddler. I would love to hear any advice or experiences you may have had.
 
i am about to experience those joys and challenges. i have a 4 yr old ds and another ds on the way....
i can tell you pregnancy while having a toddler is somewhat more challenging than the first go around with no children.
 
I've been thinking about this as well. My son is 4 and will be home with me when I have DS#2. I'm wondering how I"m going to have any energy? There will be no way to nap when the baby sleeps while having a VERY active 4 year old as well. Hopefully my hubby will be able to help out in the evenings.
 
Another mom here expecting #2. My son will be a tad over 3 1/2 when our second child is born. I would rather deal with a 3 year old than a 2 year old - if choice was an option, cause I've seen several good friends with children that close and that is HHAAARRRRDDDDD! You can reason with a 3 or 4 year old, they can help some, and go get themselves a drink from the fridge but a younger child is completely relying themselves on you. Oh depending on your 3 yr or 4 yr old - hopefully potty training has been achieved as well. We are half way there - YEAH, and hope to be completely trained months before the baby comes. But every family is different and all kinds of age differences work just fine for them, but maybe not for you. So that's my thoughts.
 
I don't know yet, but I will be able to tell you soon. My little guy is 20 months, and as you can see I'm due in about a month and a half! It has been a challenge chasing him around while pregnant, though, but he is the sweetest little thing.

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Due 7-10-05
 
Hi Mary,

When my next baby is born, my first will be 5 years old, so I'm not in the situation you are describing. However, the reason my kids are so far apart is because I specifically did not want to have a newborn and a toddler at the same time. Mind you, I have also been attempting to write a dissertation and research publications in this time, so I've always had to find time to cram in academic work within my daughter's schedule. It's not easy. If I'd had another child soon after the first, I would have had to give up on my thesis.

People more commonly have children close in age, than farther apart, and they get through it quite well. One of the advantages I hear is that they get all the infant-chaos over with in a short time. In my situation, I have a wonderfully independent 5 year old, and we're really enjoying that. I know it's going to be hard for us to go back to the diapering/feeding/no sleeping stage, but I'm also thinking my 5 year old is going to be a great help.

It's a tough decision, with pros and cons for either waiting or not waiting. Good luck!!

Sandra
- has a SIL who has 4 children under the age of 6!
 
Hi to all of the expecting Mommies,

I haven't posted here in a long time, but I do have two small children. My son will be a year old in July and my daughter is 4. When he was born, she was 3 1/2 years old.

I will be honest with you and tell you that it was definitely a "different" kind of challenge having baby #2. With your first baby, everything is new and it can become overwhelming and kinda scary...I used to panic with every sneeze, cough, etc. with my daughter. In that respect, having your second child is much easier, b/c you are more laid back. You know what it is like to have a newborn, their sleeping patterns, breastfeeding is no longer a mystery, etc.

The challenging part is that now you not only have those "newborn" responsibilities, but you still have a toddler/older child whose needs, wants, etc. are equally important. Trying to balance time and energy(what little you have due to sleep deprivation) between the two children is something that each individual mother has to work out. I often joke with people and tell them that having 1 child then having another child, DID NOT equal the workload of two...at times it felt more like 5 children.

With my first, I had lost of all my baby weight by the time she was 7 months old....Now, I am still fighting to get these last 10 pounds off. I have not had as much time to workokut and exercise. BUT, having said all of that, the rewards are equally as big. I have really "enjoyed" this first year with my second baby, much more than I did with my first. It has also been fun to have a little boy, after having had a girl first.

Good Luck to all of you!! Enjoy the adventure...there is definitely nothing like it in the world.

Jessi


Grace~born 2/21/01
Jack~ born 7/9/04
 
Thank you all for your input...I also forgot to mention that my husband and I own a plumbing company and I run the office from home with my son. I expect things will be a BIT harder to juggle with two, but I am not the first or the last to do it. I have to say that I worked prior to us buying the company and that job was very demanding and required me to do several things at once thus preparing me for motherhood. Thanks again!!
 
I am not pregnant, but we are thinking about it.. was just checking this forum out and saw your question. I have a DS that is 3 1/2 and my DD is going to be 1 in July. When I had her my DS was just 2 1/2 and it wasn't that hard.. It sounds nuts, but he naps 3 hours a day and so at a very early age I got her on a napping schedule very similar to his so I would have at least 30mins to 1 hour of me time.. Now they both nap like clockwork from 2-5 every day. It was something I had to be very diligant about. I love having them so close in age and we hope to have the 3rd about the same spacing so we might begin ttc this fall sometime. The most challenging time for me is the evening when it's dinner time, bath time, and usually they are grumpy.. then my husband is home to help out so it's not so bad. Good luck whatever you decide to do!
 
Hi!

I currently have DD#1, just turned 3, and DD#2, 16 months. We're expecting #3 the 1st week of Dec. DH and I both work, plus I take classes on the side, when I can squeeze it in. When we had #2, our first was 20 months. We had both in diapers for over a year. My brother, around the same time, had his two girls about four years apart, so I can tell about having them closer and having them a little farther apart.

I think we hit the timing with #2 very well: #1 was too young to really be jealous or resent having a sibling. We hadn't started potty training, yet, either - sometimes, if the child is in the middle of training or just trained, you can expect a little regression from the stress of adjusting to a new person in the family. My brother dealt with that big time! Things can be a bit chaotic, and we are admittedly sleep deprived, but it's a good kind of crazy, if you know what I mean. My girls are so good to each other - they haven't really ever known life without the other one being there.

On a personal note, my feeling was that if we were going to have diapers and bottles, I'd rather have it all in one long blast than several shorter periods spaced out. It can be a lot of work, but once you're used to it, it's not so bad (kind of like a Cathe workout, right?) I think that if I ever got a break from it, I would find it more difficult to get back into the routine, if that makes sense.

I am not going to tell you that I have everything perfectly organized and that I get regular workouts! I struggle to find time for everything, just like we all do, I'm sure. I try to take it a day or two at a time and work out as much as I can, when I can. It's more of a long range effort - I know there will be a day when I will be back in the groove and have my daily plan, just maybe not today. In the meantime, I try to hit a balance. If I can't work out, I try to eat a little cleaner and look for ways to squeeze some exercise in: park farther from the store, take the steps, do squats and lunges while cooking/cleaning, etc.

I wish you luck in your decision. If you take the next step, I think you'll find it's a lot of work, but really worth it. When you have more than one child, the interaction between them is such a joy to watch - there's nothing that melts your heart as much as when one child hugs and kisses the other one, or shares something with them...
 
My daughters (5 and 3) are 2 yrs and 1 month apart. It was very tiring the first year but has become such a BLAST these past few years. They do so many things together and they are so fun to watch

I have a 3 month old son now. Even though I went back into the fray, I found it much easier going from two to three than I did one to two. I guess the shock of doubling up the work just isn't there!

What amazes me is that diapers will have been in my house for at least seven or eight years by the time DS is trained!

Good luck to all of you.

Allison
 
I have a 2 1/2 year old and 5 month old twins

My Daughter was 2 yrs, 2 months when my g/b twins were born in December. There wasn't much of a problem getting her used to the babies, mainly because we didn't make a big deal and took the stance that they're all of our babies and why shouldn't we love them and accept them. She took her cue from my husband and I. So, once we adjusted to life with twins we were on our way.

My daughter is just beginning to learn to potty train. I also held off training since I knew she might regress once the babies got here. Besides, during the pregnancy it was too hard to try and train her! But she is very loving to her brother and sister and helps me all the time. I really feel that if you approach a family addition as a wonderful gift for the whole family, your child will catch on.

The main thing I would suggest is having a schedule - it's saved my sanity!! My 2 1/2 year old doesn't really nap anymore, but the twins are on EASY which you can find out more about by reading the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. This gives me time to spend with her. The only thing I don't yet have time for is my workouts - the most I've done is some walking. But now that the babies are older, I am cautiously optimistic that I'll see Cathe soon!

Hope that helps. Just as you can't imagine your life without your 1st child, that is how it is once you have a second or third!

Tricia
 
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