Do you become more confrontational when you get older?

hiitdogs

hiitdogs

Cathlete
Or is it just me? I have noticed over the past couple of months that I have become increasingly impatient with stupid people and their stupid comments. Whereas a few years ago I would just roll my eyes and move on.

I mean, I have always been outspoken and put my foot in my mouth when I thought the situation called for it. But it used to take a lot more to get me to say something , and if I did say anything it would be very matter of fact.

Not so anymore, I actually called a guy a "pompous a$$" this morning. I still can't believe I did this.

This guy comes to the dog park a few times a week with his dog who keeps peeing on my dogs, other dogs and people. The other day, a few of us regulars were chatting, when his dog peed on my dog, again. I said "oh no, I just took him to the groomer yesterday, I guess I will have to give him another shower". His comment was "Well, he is just establishing who the boss is". Huh???? Everyone's chin just dropped. I didn't say a word.

This morning, I went to the dog park, he was already there, I walked around with my doggie crap bags already in my hand, when my phone rang (my kids who were alone at home - it's spring break). He gets off the bench, marches towards me and barks at me "Will you get of you phone, and pick up your dog sh...!"

Mind you, I am already moving towards the doggie pile with my bags in my hand, not fast enough for him, I guess I should have sprinted there in a split second. Geez, I ALWAYS pick up after my dogs, on top of it, every morning I also pick up 20 to 30 doggie piles of other people who forgot or missed it, I clean out the water buckets and fill them up, etc.

I was a little rattled, but I said "thanks, I saw it, I'll get it." So he mumbles something like, "maybe you shouldn't have that many dogs, if you can't take care of them". Boy, I really flew off the handle and said, "Look, I said I will get it, but don't get nitpicky and lecture me, as long as I have to clean up after YOUR dog's mess, peeing on my dogs and my leg, without complaint, I think you should be real quiet. Why don't you come of your high horse, you pompous a$$".

Wow, the minute it came out of my mouth, I thought I can't believe I actually said that.

It just seems over the last few months I am less inclined to put up with people's stupid remarks and instead of just letting it go, I say things that a couple of years ago would have been unthinkable for me.

Does anyone else experience that they become less patient and more confrontational with progressing age, or is it just me??

Have a great day everyone!

Carola
 
RE: Do you become more confrontational when you get old...

ahhh....may i just say...uh, that, well...

YOU'RE MY HERO!!!!

What did he do then????

As Jerry once said to Elaine, "You're the Queen of Confrontation!"
 
Carola-
I say good for you! I don't see it as being confrontational as much as standing up for yourself. Obviously this guy who let's his bossy dog pee on others thinks HE's the boss of the dog owners. He needed to be taken down a notch.
 
Carola,

This is a subject near and dear to my heart. I have become more outspoken as I am getting older. I'm okay with it because I look at it as not taken anyone's crap anymore (pun intended).

I believe it's called 'establishing boundaries'

I had a similar situation when a neighbor yelled at me to keep my dogs off her property because I didn't always pick up after them. I promptly called her a liar because I take great pains to make sure I do so. I couldn't believe I did that either but I'll be damned if I was going to put up with it.

I bet he doesn't mess with you anymore :)
 
Hi guys,

now you make me giggle :) To answer you question, he mumbled something that I couldn't understand while I was saying to myself "oh, some people need to get a life, geez louise, what a grumpy old fart!" while I was walking away. And frankly at that point, I didn't give a rats behind what else he had to say. I thought I needed to get away to not escalate the situation because my blood was boiling already.

I think it is not so much that I was setting boundaries that bothered me about my own reaction, but the fact that I called him a not nice name! Unthinkable for me just a few months ago. Setting boundaries is not confrontational in my book, but calling someone a pompous a$$, is!

Thanks for making me feel better though

Carola
 
You called it like you saw it, Carola. Ain't nothin' wrong with that. I think I would have said something a whole lot worse than that the very first time his dog urinated on one of my dogs or on me.x( Personally, I think you showed great restraint on that one. And then to have him try to order you about because you weren't moving fast enough to please him? Definitely sounds like a Pompous A$$ to me. If he is at the park a few times a week when you are there, then he knows that you clean up after your dogs, so what was HIS problem anyway? Who is he, the Poop Police? He sounds like a bully who needed to be cut down a notch and good for you for doing it!! Rah, Rah, Carolah!! (Sorry, I got carried away.)

Is there anyone supervising this area that you can complain to about this guy and his free flowing dog? If he not only makes no attempt to stop his dog's bad behavior but also excuses it by making some moronic macho comment, then that would be a legimate complaint. And you obviously have witnesses.

Anyway, to answer your question, yes, I am somewhat more confrontational and outspoken now. But I always have been confrontational and outspoken on issues or situations that really strike a nerve.


MissL
 
Totally,

I think when you are younger, you want to get along and not rock the boat because you have less life experience.

But when you reach a certain age, you're like geez dude stop being an *sshole! People often get away with murder and it take someone like you to put them in their place.
 
RE: Do you become more confrontational when you get old...

I agree that he needed to be told off. Good for you! A situation like that, there is no other way to deal... just tell him.

However, I would not agree that I've become more confrontational as I've gotten older. I've lived through a lot of life experiences, both good and bad, and it has taught me tolerance, acceptance, and to handle things with a calm demeanor. I am in no way saying that you handled it wrong, by the way, I am just saying that I am much calmer and at ease with myself as I've aged, and that translates into an easier sense of self.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't sweat the small stuff. :D
 
RE: Do you become more confrontational when you get old...

Good for you, Carola! That was exactly what was needed in this situation. I think women sometimes try to keep the peace, and so we tend to sit down, shut up, and just take it, and the more we speak up the more it will teach people that females are not all meek and willing to put up with a bunch of c**p. Unlike the previous poster, I am more confrontational, and less tolerant, as I have aged, but I'm not confrontational and intolerant in an irrational manner, just if something has really gone on too long and gone too far. (Like your situation!).
 
I wouldn't get confrontational with you, Nancy :)

>Absolutely. You got a problem with that??
>Nancy

With you being more confrontational, or me being more confrontational???

Don't know, haven't had a confrontation with you yet, Nancy:+ But boy, I sure wouldn't want to cross you }(

Take care,

Carola
 
RE: I wouldn't get confrontational with you, Nancy :)

Hey, Carola, I'm not crossing you either. We old fiesty broads have to stick together! ;)
Nancy
 
RE: I wouldn't get confrontational with you, Nancy :)

My hats off to you-I wish I could be more "outspoken" with things that bother me or things I think are wrong-Your my hero!!


Lisa
 
First off kudos to you for sticking up for yourself! That jerk deserved a good tongue-lashing. I probably would've said worse ;p

I completely understand what you mean about having less tolerance for stupid people the older you get. I saw this t-shirt once that I wanted to get. It reads 'I'll be nicer, if you be smarter'. Sums up everything in that one statement.

Though. since I've gotten older, I've found that I tend to pick my battles. If I were to go off on everyone that was being a jerk or stupid or rude - I'd be too busy to tend to my other...crap...for lack of a better word.

This case definitely merited a 'tell-off'. You were much nicer than you could've been. Now he'll think twice before messing with u!

You go girl!

Becky
 
I chuckled at your response to the nimrod. Way to go!

And, yes, I've become more vocal with age. Funny thing is...I'm getting more and more like my mother every day. I used to want to cringe and crawl in a hole when she voiced her opinions. Now, I'm doing it! Everything comes full circle, I guess...:)

Let us know how he responds to you the next time you see him at the dog park. Or did he scamper away never to return with his tail tucked between his legs?:p

Heidi
 
Carola,
I applaud your reaction! Some people just need people to stand up to them. It sounds like you put him right in his place!
I'm having a similar issue with a Jehovah's Witness lady who keeps coming to my door (not to offend any Jehovah's Witnesses), who is actually a very nice older German lady. Because I'm still learning about the German culture, I didn't want to be rude...BIG MISTAKE!! I'm not interested in becoming part of her church (or any church for that matter), and it looks like I'm going to have to come out and say it to her. It wouldn't be that bad, but I smell a religious debate coming on, and I really wanted to avoid that. It seems so silly, but I'm starting to dread this conversation. Oh well! Maybe she'll pee on me and make it easier for me!;)

Carolyn
 
Oh well! Maybe she'll pee on me and make it easier for me!

Carolyn-too funny-I've always been outspoken and have tried to become more like my husband who puts up with a lot of crap at his work but I've been losing my tongue lately too- although I do not blame the original poster, I think she showed alot of restraint too and she is so nice to even be worrying about the remark she made to that jerk- I've been thinking that this pre-menopause stage I'm in is making me crazier and way more opinionated than I ever was--deb
 
I'm surprised it took you THAT long! I find that as I get older, I get more self confidence and am more likely to speak up. However, there would always get to a point where I'd have enough of someone's stupidity and say something. The guy in the park is a bully and you will probably not have trouble again with him now that you've put him in his place.
 
I think I have! I was in the Giant Eagle parking lot a couple of months ago and noticed a purse in the cart caddy and a guy walking away. I asked him if it was his wife's purse and he started to say no, but then looked at his wife and asked her if it was-actually said "this is yours, right?" she started to say no, but then said "oh, yeah" she turned around to the back seat to say to her kids "I thought you got that" I hesitantly handed him the purse and he gave it to his wife in the car.

She watched me watch her as she immediately opened the purse and retrieved the wallet. I had a really bad feeling about it and I couldn't let them get away with this. I walked over to the passenger door, looked in and saw another purse at her feet. I said to her "That's not your purse. Why don't you give it back to me and I'll take it into the store" She looked at her husband, slowly rolled the window down and gave me the purse. I took it into the store and told the employees about these low lifes who almost stole this purse!

I don't think I could have done that 10 years ago!!!

Doreen
 
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