Competition- is there something "different" about me??

[Fit_mommy]

RE: Competition- is there something

I am not a competitive person...never was...never will be.

I hated team sports in school because the really competitive types would get nasty if you messed up. Used to grate on my last nerve. I wasn't on a team...we are talkin' freakin' GYM CLASS here people...RELAX! This is what I used to WANT to say to many a person but never did cause I was too dang nice!x(

If I enjoy something I will do my best wether it be a physical activity or anything else. If my best is not good enough for someone else? Well then they can go to !@#$#! LOL

I like to get better at things and will push to go a little faster...or a little farther...or a little longer...etc. "the next time" but that's it. That's as far as it goes.

 

[sparrow]

RE: Competition- is there something

>Diane and Amy, your posts are so interesting. A little
>sibling rivalry is one thing, but your sisters have both taken
>it to an irrational level. Imagine deciding to get married or
>have kids based upon competition.
>
>I had a friend who was kind of like that. She refused to come
>and visit me in my new apartment, and I suspected it was
>because she heard it was nicer than hers. She also dumped me
>like a hot potato when I started dating my husband, and I
>suspect it was because she was jealous that I had a boyfriend.
> She just turned 50 and is still single. I think there's a
>reason for that. }(
>
>People are so fascinating.
>-Nancy

Nancy I agree...people are fascinating and truth is often more compelling than fiction! I have a friend like yours, though she is much more passive aggressive about it. When I traveled and met my Arab guy, the one I almost married and was over the moon about before it all went south, I thought she'd want to be excited with me. But when I got back to NY and my apartment to tell her all about it, there she was, drama personified, stretched out on the couch, under a quilt in July, with tissues and cough syrup and a thermometer around her, oh so "sick". The whole time I was telling her about him she showed no excitement for me at all; she just smiled weakly and said in a thin voice, "Oh I'm so happy for you <cough cough>." Then she immediately started talking about being sick and totally changed the subject to herself. I think that was the beginning of the end of our friendship.

Amy, there's nothing wrong with you. Competing with oneself is healthy and drives achievement. But adults who go around feeling as if they have to be in out of control competition with others show a serious lack of self-confidence, IMO (professional athletes etc, excluded of course!). Honestly, what are they trying to prove? Be as you are, and don't worry about a few ninnies.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage

 

[dorothyrd]

RE: Competition- is there something

Amy, I am a competitive person....Although not real cut throat. My daughter does not have a competitive bone in her body. It is interesting watching her grow up. When she does things, like she swims, and plays in recreational softball(I would never put her in the real competitive league, she would get crushed), she does things for the joy of doing it, for the social time with friends.

The disadvantages are, I feel, that she does not perform at the highest level she could, because lacking that drive, she is happy with just doing.

However, the advantages are, she does not break down and cry if she loses a swimming race, or does not best her time. She does not cry if she walks a batter when she pitches, or strikes out. At age 13, this is a big deal, as 13 year olds are very emotional. So as I watch other girls break down and get all upset, she is happy, has fun, and comes back year after year for the joy of it.

It has made me look at competition differently and learn from her, because everyone is different.

 

[red_mct]

RE: Competition- is there something

I tend to be competitive with myself but avoid getting competitive with other people. I think it is generally a waste of time and energy and invariably someone is going to be better than you. So it's less frustrating to compete only with oneself, I think.

I've had a few friendships that have ended due to the other person feeling very competitive with me. One woman I worked with in particular I liked quite a lot, and I could never figure out why, every time we had a conversation, I would start to feel really antsy and uneasy. It was only after some time that I realized she was constantly trying to outdo me, withholding information for an edge, etc. Eventually I just stopped talking to her altogether because I didn't like how it felt. This also happened to me again recently with someone in my personal life and while I'm upset at the friendship ending, I'm definitely not missing her constant barrage of one-upmanship.

One thing I have noticed is that really competitive people like that who really bug you do tend to be insecure about themselves; they seem to think that attempting to position themselves as superior to you will actually make them superior. Weird.

As Nancy said, just be true to who you are, and success will follow.

Take care,
Marie