Can't be myself rant

[KimDW]

Are you around people that you feel like you can't be yourself? The people I work with know that I hate storms and everytime it's raining they make fun of me saying "Ooooh it's raining, better get home." Or the same with snow or ice. Our street here at work floods with any heavy rain and they all have trucks and I have a car so they can get through the water a little easier. They also think it's funny how I'm very peticular about things, very organized, and also how pale skinned I am.

I feel like I have to be so guarded around them all. One morning I got to work and the one girl ran out to her car, jumped in and just started backing up while I was still behind her starting to pull into my parking place (she's in a car and I'm in my husband's truck). To someone else I said that she almost hit me and needed to watch where she's going. That person in turn went and told her that she scared the crap out of me that morning. I overheard this conversation and her comment was "Well, it doesn't take much to scare her." in a very sarcastic tone. I know everyone here thinks I'm naive and silly but I just wish I could be myself.

Sorry for the rant. Does anyone else get this at work?

 

[toastythemosty]

All I can say to that is that I am very sensitive. I pick up on things when I am around people. If I am in a restaurant, church or wherever, sometimes I can sense tension, etc. Can't really explain it, but then I automatically feel uncomfortable. I am not psychic, but get a general feeling about others sometimes.

With everything else you are saying, I don't think you should let people treat you like a child, your an adult. Stand up for yourself! I put up with that in elementary school, but not anymore and you shouldn't either.

Charlotte~~

 

[lov2bfit]

I used to work in an atomosphere somewhat similar. It was a very small office and two of the girls there (who were sisters) were the type to be so nice to your face and then say everything bad they could about you behind your back. It was truely a miserable experience because I was so careful about everything I did as to not give them "ammunition". I would go home at night and practically cry. When I switched jobs I told myself that I would never allow myself to be in a position like that again. So now I just distance myself and don't let anyone get to me. They can do their own thing and I'll do mine. I'm so much happier now.

I wish you luck. With as much time as we all spend at our job it is terrible to be unhappy.

Katie

 

[dreamyjeanie]

Sorry, some people are cruel without even realizing it (some realize it and are still cruel)

Maybe you could say something when they start teasing you like. "sure glad nothing in your life bothers you. Hope you never have to deal with situations like this". They may think you are talking about the fear or they may think you are talking about people who give other people a hard time.

Or let's say they bring up the storm thing, you might respond jokingly "Thanks for reminding me of my fears. I almost forgot." If you let people know it bothers you, they will continue because they thinks it's funny. If you don't respond in a way that let's them think they got to you, they usually get board and move one to something else. Of course it's easy for me to say "Try this or try that" I'm not in your shoes and you are the only one who knows the whole situtation and you have to be the judge of what you can or can't say since you work with these people.

Sorry that still doesn't help you feel like you can be yourself at work. But if you can ever get to a point where you can allow yourself not to be bothered by what they say (kind of like the saying "let it roll off your back"), you will at least be able to enjoy yourself a liitle more. Try not to let you fears rule you. We all have issues. Some of us are OCD, some have ADD, most of us have some kind of fear.

Hope helps some. Sending you some inner peace vibes~~~~~~~~ to deal with those that bother you.

Jeany

 

[naughtoj]

oh gaaaawwwwddddd..........

You work in an office, don't you????

Poeple can be such a holes sometimes, eh? I know it is hard, but try not to take it too personally.

 

[candi]

They are treating you like this because you let them. Sometimes, you have to demand respect, especially from people like this. They are getting some sort of power trip by making you feel uncomfortable.

Of course, demanding respect would take a confrontation of sorts which most people don't like...especially fearful people.

It seems to me you have four choices:

1. Try to let it roll off your back.

2. As was mentioned previously, try making a joke about it. This at least lets them know you are aware of their insensitivity.

3. Confront them in an assertive way. You can be assertive without being aggresive.

4. Confront your fears and try to master them. If you've learned to be comfortable with your fears and feel you can manage them within yourself then that would be a moot point.

And, to answer your question. I used to get this at work several years ago but I started being assertive and it's amazing how people treat you differently. I read an assertiveness book (can't remember the name of it) and started practicing the principles. It was difficult for me at first but now I have no problem speaking my mind.

 

[smartyjonesc2s]

You have gotten some excellent advice from above. I will just add to say that you have to be confident in yourself and like yourself as the person you are. the other people who give you are hard time are really exhibiting a lack of self esteem, and feel the need to deflect that away from themselves. if they keep all of the bad attention on you, it keeps others from noticing their deficiencies and fears. they are typical bullies, and like michelle said, you are letting them bully you. it is predatory in nature and they sense your weaknesses. you have to be strong to shut them down. you can also learn to laugh at yourself. not taking yourself too seriously can also help. but again, you are the one who has to deal with this every day so you have to decide which way will work best for you. it really suks that some people just never grow up and learn how to treat people properly, and i am sorry that you have to deal with this every day.

 

[KimDW]

Thanks for the positive ideas and thoughts. I've worked here for about 9 years and was REALLY shy and let absolutely EVERYTHING bother me in the beginning but I'm alot better now than I was. One guy literaly went out of his way to get under my skin and once I stood up for myself he backed off and we get along alot better now. I'm learning to trust myself and know that I am my own person and if others don't like it that's too bad. Since it is a small office (only about 6 people) with only 1 other woman it's hard to not feel unattached to the social surroundings. I've actually been thinking about switching jobs lately. Mainly because it is so slow here and I get so bored and can't see myself doing this job until I can retire. I've got great benefits, it's very close to home, very laid back place where if I need to take off for something I can, and I get 5 weeks vacation. It's hard to walk away from that to the uncertainty of another job (which I'd have to go back to school for). But, if I can just get myself motivated to do something about it I think I'd be much happier.

Thanks for listening,