<---between a laugh and a tear

<---wonders how everyone else remembers everything
<---went on a lovely 3.2 mile hike today
<---came home and cleaned 2.5 bathrooms
<---fell asleep on couch for 2 hours (just between you and me):)
<---woke up just in time for the kiddies to come home: Issac at 2:40, Sarah at 2:45 and Caleb at 4.00
<---is not looking forward to summer w/ kids home
;(
<---has to prolong more strenuous hikes until they go back
<---tells Wendy she would love hiking
<---found these jokes in my email when I came home (worth printing)
<---can't figure out how to post a link w/ them in it

Entertainment for Women:

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to Me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back,
"University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
--------------------------------
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of
the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_______________________
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to
you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.
______________________
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I
sit on the sofa and fart.
_______________________
He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said -Turn sideways and look in the mirror
______________________
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
_______________________
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
__________________
A PRAYER....
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
________________________________
Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
_________________________________
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
__________________________________
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: one-he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around
him.
OR Three -- one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag
about the screwing part.
_________________________________
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
________________________________
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
_________________________________
Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
__________________________________
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
___________________________________
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
_____________________________________
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants
every woman to satisfy his one need.
__________________________________
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
 
<-- has awoken
<-- is still sleepy
<-- loves to nap with the kittens in the middle of the day
<-- LOL, <-- loves to nap with the kittens anytime
<-- is glad DB is doing better already!
<-- is sorry GM got bad news
<-- wonders if the meds have worked for SHELley yet
<-- is glad Shannon took a day off
<-- is confused by Kara's car/bird interaction
<-- agrees: wth???
<-- really really really is going to go do some sort of workout now
<-- might waive P90X and toss in Muscle Max instead since it's been so long since a full body weight workout
<-- is excited Melody's house is on the mend
<-- wants the same to be true for everyone
<-- can't believe Nance's mouth
<-- wants a report on Nance's mouth
<-- will bbl
 
<---really thinks Amy should hold off on that workout since she still has a hole in her foot
 
<--- is trying to delete part of post as the jokes were posted twice
<--- profusely apologizing
<--- must be tired as I spelled Isaac's name wrong and put Caleb at 4.oo instead of 4:00
 
<--waves hi to everyone!
<--is so relieved that Shelley finally got her auntie biotics
<--really thinks it wasn't a moment too soon!
<--is so glad to hear that Michlee's DB is doing well
<--hopes that Shannon's life slows down a bit
<--is so sorry to hear about Robinella's kitty
<--sends healing vibes to Amy's foot
<--assumes that Ame is now reading her criminal law chapter, right Ame?
<--is glad to hear that the Georgia Peach DS's are doing better today
<--got to see the dentist today, who gave <-- a temporary crown
<--may need a root canal in the tooth, but needs to wait it out and see
<--has so much work it's almost unbelievable :(
<--lost almost 2 hours today at dentist
<--is actually going to work most of Memorial Day weekend! :eek:
<--was in the throes of PMS today and DT said it stands for Potential Murder Suspect
<--dealt with awful, crazy client today and told DT that <-- found the PMV=Potential Murder Victim }( }( }( }(
-Ms. Pants
 
<---waves hello to Nancy
<---hopes her tooth is fixed so she won't have to have a root canal. Yikes.
<---thinks Nancy and <--- need to go somewhere and hide so life will have to slow down
<---thinks DT is right about what PMS stands for! LOL!
<---is going to sign off for now and read a good book until beddy-by
<---hope to see y'all tomorrow!
 
<-- tells Nance she is right, <-- did start to read the chapter on crim law
<-- found it to be rather uninteresting to read, a little; it was about "what makes criminal law *criminal*" and after 3 pages they said it boils down to "because we say so"
<-- LOL loved that
<-- was trying to read and avoid jury duty all at the same time
<-- only wanted to avoid jury duty because 1. they were only fighting about the extent and $$ damages rather than fault (so what is the factfinder really doing that matters), 2. they moved service from 1/2 mile away to about 18 miles away and <-- just spent $33 to fill up her CIVIC, 3. the courthouse was uninspiring- it was like a remodeled library or something weird, 4. the attorneys were FOGs (at ld uys), 5. the plaintiff limped into the courtroom like she was on her deathbed which was insane, as it was an alleged injury when a kitchen cabinet fell on her head and chest (so why was she limping around) and btw, this must have been a minimum of TWO YEARS AGO, 6. there were 18 potential witnesses
<-- thought they should have just settled
<-- kind of thought that all of that ^^ made <-- a really bad juror ;)
<-- also forgot to mention that they said there was parking in a lot but they didn't mean it x(
<-- will be returning to dreaded work tomorrow
<-- LOL will have to tell them someday that <-- is leaving
<-- believes we all know and it's just a matter of when
<-- doesn't know if <-- has told you before, but when <-- is at work, at least once a week one of them comes in and starts to question <-- at length about why <-- is in law school, what does <-- want to do with <-- life and on and on and on and they don't let up
<-- understands they are trying to figure out how to help, but they don't understand that <-- doesn't know and is STILL OKAY
<-- should have put a warning on this one to let you know it's okay to skip the rambling post, LOL
<-- hated hated hated undergrad because every day was a day <-- didn't graduate
<-- refused to be goal-oriented in law school and that has worked much better
<-- doesn't really feel a need to break <--'s back and work 856 hours a week after school, either
<-- is perfectly fine with being a bootcamp attorney, believe it or not
<-- thinks everything will be alright in the end
<-- is just procrastinating the workout
<-- wonders if yoga could count?? <-- could do some yoga. DH just called and he's coming home EARLY
<-- is excited about that but there goes the hour long workout...
<-- guesses that means it's time to get a move on
<-- apologizes again for the lack of warning:eek:
 
<---was trying to do that but for some reason it wasn't working
<---is off to feed kiddies left over meat loaf, fried potatoes w/ onions and fresh green beans
 
<--watched the auditions of AI and then nothing else until now...<-- is now watching the last 5 mins to find out who won!:p
<--says they are singing a duet from Dirty Dancing...<--LOVES that movie!
<--thinks Patrick Swayze is YUMMY!:9 }( :9
<--is going to hunker down in bed and read for a bit after AI is over.
<--has to get up early tomorrow morning to take DS to 1 year check up.
<--hopes to get a work out in tomorrow but wonders if time will allow it??
<--says they just announced winner on AI so it's time for <--to hit the bed!
<--says nighters to all!:)
 
<-- thanks Wendy for revealing who won
<-- doesn't feel the need to stay awake
<-- didn't even get through the MM warmup tonight
<-- is now a weeping mess of a "human"
<-- explains the final straw was tonight when GEORGE PUSHED GRACIE OUT THE WINDOW (she was in the windowsill, and he came up and attacked her like he always does and she was pushed against the screen like always but tonight the wood window frame gave way and the screws that held the screen in busted out the wood so there she tumbled)
<-- and George and Gracie were all surprised and <-- was scared as they are indoor cats
<-- just can't handle much any more
<-- doesn't understand why <-- gained 5 pounds+ this year
<-- doesn't know how to fix it or anything and everything is bad and terrible and it's all gone
<-- doesn't mean to bring everyone down, it's just that everything is bad right now. DH is trying to help but he's just not very good at problem solving as that is <-- job and <-- is sucking at it lately
<-- is going to go away and make a little dinner and go to bed
 
<--well Amy, I hope at least your dinner was good!
<--seriously, I will surely pray for you tonight that you find peace within yourself and that things ease up a bit
<--are your kittys alright?
<--glad Nancy's tooth is healed for now, and sorry she had a sucky work day
<--Hope Tig has a good sleep, Michelle too!
<--I hope everyone has a good night, and wakes up refreshed and feeling 100%. And no swelling or pain for Shelly
<--also wish for Sunshine for everyone tomorrow
<--Guess <-- will go to bed or something.
<--goodnight everyone

Maeghan AKA megadoo

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar072/slider-but3/lb/203/145/159/.png[/img] [/url]

http://www.picturetrail.com/megadoo2
 
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