Bathing suit depression.....

J

joditoad1974

Cathlete
I bought a bathing suit last night, and waited till I got home to my friends house to try it on, and boy did I cry.....I weighed 178 the end of 2004, and now I am 149, but I am still so big. I hate all the loose skin on my stomach, and my hips and thighs are so huge. I am going to start doing 1 hour of cardio everyday for the next few months, instead of 3 times a week. I am so frustrated. Me and my friend both bought on, and she is a size 2 and looks awesome in hers, and it made me feel really bad about myself. I am in such a funk now......I sure do hate summertime! I really want to weigh about 125....but even if I get there, I cant do anything about all my strech marks and loose skin. I feel like almost giving up and saying the he!! with it all. I am just very frustrated right now, and had to vent to someone that would understand (my size 2 friend does not) and My husband could care less. Sorry to be such a downer today.

joanna
 
Joanna, I feel your pain. You are not a downer at all! Bravo to you for losing 29 pounds. That is quite an accomplishment!! One thing to feel really good about is that you are no longer 178 pounds.

I feel that my upper body is nice enough, but my thighs are another story, as well as my stomach. I too have loose skin and stretch marks. I think the best we can do is to maintain a healthy weight or strive for a healthy weight and keep on working with Cathe.

I often feel bad about myself too, when I feel bad about myself I usually head to the refrigerator, which makes everything worse. I wish I had the magic bullet that would stop this craziness. It's an addiction and a very bad habit.

So I understand. :) Keep up the good work, don't give up! Look at how far you have come!

Lori
 
Hey wait a second...you lost weight, you are healthier and you made a life change. Aren't those important things to remember? It's not all about looks, I know you know that. And anyway, I am sure that you look better in a bathing suit than you did before.

All that being said, bathing suits (and shopping for them especially) always brings me to the point where you are today. I understand TOTALLY where you are coming from. I have "scars" from being overweight - stretch marks, loose skin, etc. - but sometimes their presence reminds me of how far I have come and that I don't want to go back.

The best advice that I can give is to focus on your accomplishments, get the right suit for your body type (this REALLY makes a difference to accent the positive, minimize negative, etc.) and motivate yourself in a positive way. You CAN make more changes and you will. So you might not be a size two, but you will continue to make improvements and you eill be healthier for doing it. Tell us your current work schedule, your food plan and your goals. Maybe we can help with that.

But most importantly, don't be so down on yourself. I think you have made great progress but you aren't giving yoruself credit for it!

Christine :)
 
Hello:
I can totally sympathize with you. I have also lost quite a bit of weight since 2001 and I still feel fat sometimes. I need to work on my diet and bodyfat too. But try not to get frustrated and cry. When I feel like a crying, I try to remember back to 3 years ago and how out of shape I was, before doing Cathe tapes. It is very sobering to actually realize how far I have come, and how great I feel now compare to then. You're doing great! Keep up the good work and you will realize your goal.
 
First of all congrats on losing the weight, that is great. Second, have you tried the bathing suits with long tops and board shorts. I went to Sea and Ski to buy mine. Yes, I paid a lot of money for it, but it is very flattering and I love it. I have stretch marks around my belly button and I'm a pear shape, so I have huge thighs. The board shorts are just the right length to cover my saddlebags and the long top just meets the top of the shorts.
 
Do you really think that throwing your hands in the air and saying "The hell with it all, why even bother" is going to make you feel better? Will it...really? Then by all means...stomp off in a tirade! It is your body and if you feel it is too much work for too little gain then you should give up. Now go to the bathroom and look at the QUITTER! Is that what you want?

Hey, I know bathing suit season is tough, especially with stretch marks and saggy skin (I have it too). But being where you are at now MUST feel better than where you were before you started your journey! If you give up, you will gain it back...plus some! Imagine that...now imagine that AND next years bathing suit season!

Start focusing on next season. Do you want it to be worse or better? You're in control here. Do you want to get up every day and see someone who gave up or do you want to see someone who never quit, even when those closest to you had no clue!

Some say quitting is the easy way out. I disagree. That kind of self loathe HAS to be exhausting! I think it is so much easier to to sweat every day!

With that, I agree...bump up the cardio! Work harder and and go into the bathroom and look at the beautiful woman who said "I am no quitter! I'm a freaking bad ass"!
 
Joanna--I'm sorry you feel so lousy. But I want to say that if you really don't like the way you look in that bathing suit return it. You have accomplished so much and deserve to look better than that. I love Kelly's suggestion of trying a cute bathing suit top with board shorts. Also try many different styles. It takes lots of trying on to find the right bathing suit. I used to really loath bathing suit shopping. Now I don't. First I give myself plenty of time because I know it will take many trips to the fitting room. Try on many different colors and styles you may be surprised.

I spend a lot of time at the beach because my husband surfs and I have seen woman of so many shapes and sizes. Some of the larger ladies actually look better than the smaller ones. I think not only the right swim suit but the right attitude makes a big difference.

I know its hard and I do it too sometimes but try not compare yourself to a size 2 friend (I would not buy the same exact bathing suit as my size 2 friend under any circumstance because its natural to compare.)

Please don't get discouraged and give up. I know there is a perfect bathing suit for you out there you just have to have the patience to find it.

Now get shopping girl. (And keep us posted.)

Tracy
 
Wow, I was just reading your reply Sarah and I must say I truly appreciate it!

I am 10 days away from 32 and 10 pounds from where I should be. I too am in a self-imposed funk.

I am completely tired of always being 10 pounds overweight, having to buy clothes to cover this or accentuate that. When I get this way I don't even want to leave the house, it's pathetic! I just want to look fabulous regardless, lol!

I am not a victim here and I work out too many days a week (8 video hours) and run 15 miles a week on average to not look ripped! Tough love time for me!
 
I think you'd be surprised by how many people have stretch marks and loose skin. (I was surprised Sarah aka "IMA" said she does - she looks great!) Anyway, I have met people who say they have it, too and I would have NEVER guessed it. All I know is I can NEVER wear a bikini because of it but it is still possible to look great in a one piece! You have come a long way! Be proud of yourself and be glad that the skin is "loose" now and not full of fat!;) I know I am! And I will never go back there again because i know where I am now is soooo much better than where I was then - even with loose skin and stretch marks!:)
 
Well, I'm 19 and I've had stretch marks on my back side and inner thighs since I was 9. A few years later I ended up with them on my breats. I grew too fast. I've been self concious about those for years. I've never worn shorts in public b/c of them.
Several tall girls I went to school with had the same thing. They were brave enough to not care. I still care after 10 years and I am embarrassed about them. Maybe I'll save up some $$ and get them lazered off.

~Reece Out~
 
I am not afraid to wear a two piece with all my stretch marks and loose skin. If I didn't have them then I wouldn't have my kids! I'm not even going to start singing the "badge of a real woman" because it just doesn't help, now does it?

I have them from kids and gaining weight a little too fast. I was so huge during both my pregnancies, I am suprised I don't have stretch marks on my forehead! I am sure I do on the back of my neck!LOL!!! I just can't see them!

Seriously, don't shop with a tiny friend...ever! It is inevitable that you will compare yourself and that isn't good! Head out again by yourself and instead of seeing the work that needs to be done, admire the work that you already did! Don't you deserve that? Did you do all that work just to keep beating yourself up? I know you didn't!
 
I agree totally with Sarah's tough love. There is only one person who can change your appearance...and that is you, Joanna. :)

Be proud of the journey you have made. But don't get discouraged because you don't look skinny compared to your size 2 friend. Get rid of that friend! :p

Seriously, I am in great shape but...I carried four pregnancies. I have loose abdominal skin, a c-section scar, and stretch marks. No, I don't wear a two piece swim suit but you know what...I've never worn them!! I don't like having to constantly be tugging here and there to keep my arse covered up or my boobs from hanging out somewhere. I love the new tankini's...the best of two worlds. I can swim with my kids without worrying that my body parts are 'over-exposed' and when I need to use the bathroom I don't have to tug and pull at a wet one piece suit. Swimsuits are all about COMFORT for me, not show. Buy a swimsuit you are COMFORTABLE wearing and that usually means one that fits YOU well. Don't worry about what the cover girls are wearing or the teenager's at the beach. Buy what you like and what looks good on you.

And goodluck on your continued fitness journey. :D
 
Agree with what the others have said. COngrats on the weight loss and buying a bathing suit with a smaller friend is a set up for not feeling good.

Some of the posters had great ideas about board shorts and a top etc.

Hang in there

And as a mother of a teenager even many of them don't feel good about how they look either -

Congrats - sounds like you have done a great job on your weight loss :)
 
Joanna, it took you months to go from 178 to 149. It will take you another few months to go down to 125. Right now, just enjoy the body you have. You may have a long way to go, but you've come a long way, too.

I have stretch marks and loose skin, too. My hips and thighs still need a lot of work. I see tankinis and bottoms that look like hot pants in magazines which cover a lot more skin than a bikini or a typical one-piece, and if I were a fan of the pool, I'd get one of those. But I'm a beach girl, and there are no beaches here in Texas, so that gives me an excuse to not ever wear a smimsuit.}(

Don't give up. This frustrating time in your life will come to pass. Just keep your eye on the prize.

Pinky
 
Hi Joanna,

Ditto to the others' replies. You have done great losing 29 pounds of fat in just over 5 months. Over half way to your goal!!

I have found Land's End has some great swimwear. I am very hard to fit, being 4'11" and having all that flabby, loose crap over my mid-section. Have never worn a "one-piece" or a bikini in my life, but I really like the "jogger" style they sell. Here is the link if you are interested in checking them out:

http://www.landsend.com/cd/index/fp/0,,10437,00.html?sid=0165103606191122680

Julie
 
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