At a loss as to how to help my brother

E

eaglobo

Cathlete
As some of you may know, my brother is going through severe depression, and I just recently found out he is doing everything to sabotage his treatment. He used to love exercise, now he stopped altogether, drinks heavily, and uses marajauna.

On top of this comes news that he has been videotaping neighbors, accusing them of being with the Feds and coming to get him. I am 2,000 miles away, and can only tell him what has worked for me, and I don't think there's anything I can do that I haven't already tried.

I want to be there for him, but he has to be there for himself first, and it doesn't appear as though he does, there is no magic cure, and he knows this as well as anybody. The only thing I can continue to do is to let him know just how great it can be to get out of the dark.

Thanks for letting me vent!! Appreciate it!!
 
I agree with Kassia, this is more than depression. Sounds like paranoia and schizophrenia to me. He needs professional treatment. Is there any way you can stage an intervention and get him into a psychiatric hospital to be evaluated and have treatment begin? Once he begins to be treated and sees how life can be different, he may have enough willpower to want to do it for himself.

I don't know what else to tell you other than you have my sympathies. This is one tough situation. Thnking of you,

Clare
 
Oh Jerry, what a difficult situation. It seems like there may be a serious mental health issue that is fueling his substance abuse. If he gets into any legal trouble, he will be forced into treatment (this is what I do for a living). Outside of that, I'm not sure what you can do to help him other than being a good example and expressing your love and concern.

(((HUGS)))
 
On second thought... There may be some sort of emergency protective order that you can get if you feel that he is a danger to himself. I have done this with clients before who were suicidal.

Where does he live? And where do you live? You could try speaking to someone at the hospital and/or police department in his area.
 
Jerry, what a heartbreaking situation for you. I know you must be beside yourself worried. I'm so sorry. :-(

I'm not medically-educated at all, but I do agree with the other posters that your brother's symptoms sound serious and troubling enough that he may have something more than depression going on. If I were in your shoes, I might start by calling my own trusted doctor and telling him what was going on with my brother, and see if he (being medically-educated) had any suggestions for me.

Wish I could be more help. Please keep us posted, and I will definitely keep you and your poor brother in my prayers.

http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/sport/sport-smiley-003.gif Kathy S. http://planetsmilies.net/sport-smiley-5536.gif
 
Hello, Jerry!

I am so very sorry to hear that your brother is experiencing all this.

I hope that I don't get flamed for this, but Jerry, Please pray for God to help him reach out. Ask God to help your brother seek him out...God wants an intimate relationship with you and your brother. He is there to help you. Jerry, I can't tell you how many miracles I have witnessed God do for me and they are all amazing and some I thought were "unfixable"....but, God will always come through for you and your brother.

Believe and have faith, and it will come together.
Bless you!
Denise :)
 
Jerry,

If the situation is as severe as you have portrayed it, I would look into getting him involuntarily committed in a facility that can help treat his depression and addictions. I've had to do this with a family member and while it's not fun, it really did help. Another thing you can do is contact law enforcement in his town and let them know the situation in case something "occurs" they will be aware of his condition which may effect how they proceed.

Ultimately you may have to travel to him and convince him to get assistance. A lot of people avoid getting medical assistance when they are suffering from depression because they are afraid of being labeled as crazy, but the brain is an organ of the body just like the heart, lungs, liver, etc....and it can become "unwell" and require intervention.

In the end though you have to realize or come to terms with the fact that your brother, though dear to you, is an individual and you can only go so far. If he does not want help, there is little you can do but offer the life preserver. I don't know if you've ever participated in this but alcoholics anonymous is for family members as well as the alcoholics (or addicts). You may want to look into a program locally for yourself so you can deal with what your brother's problems are having on you.

Good luck!
 
Jerry, I have to agree with Katie that your DB is showing signs of a serious mental illness. I strongly urge you to follow her advice. I speak from experience -- my own DB is a paranoid schizophrenic and, while there is no cure, with proper diagnosis and treatment, there is much that can be done. I won't kid you, it's not easy convincing someone like that to voluntarily seek help and legal intervention is often required. You and your DB will remain in my prayers and please keep us posted.
 
Jerry,

My thoughts are with you. I don't have any good advice.

You are 2000 miles away. You have immediate responsibilities more local to you. You have given advice and offered help to your brother and it's fallen on deaf ears. It is legally, ethically, morally and whatever other consideration there is, out of your hands. You have done what you could, you need to rest easy on your brother. It is what it is.

Does your brother have a family? Are they safe from his latest departure from reality? I would worry more about that.

Your brothers neighbors can always to turn to the law, the law can force treatment. You could call his local law enforcement and suggest they watch him.

This does not make you less of a person. You have risen above this, do not let your brother take you down too.
 
This is a tough one......sadly,unless he voluntarily checks himself into a facility, he's going to have to do something to get arrested or brought into court where he can be determined to be a danger to himself or someone else...and even THEN, its right hard to keep them in a hospital....the poor guy seems to be having psychotic breaks (either by bi-polar disorder,schizo-affective disorder etc) and self medicating with drugs - very common, and makes them worse! It sounds like you have done all you can - mental illness is like cancer - you can point people to treatment, then pray they take it.....you have our prayers.....
 
I tend to agree with Dave on this one Jerry. Our thoughts are with you on this, it must be terribly difficult.
 
Thanks everyone for the replies and suggestions. My sister in law has attempted to have my brother committed on a couple of occasions, but Colorado state law states that he can't be kept in for more than 3 days if the doctors feel is is no harm to himself or others. I strongly believe it may be in his best interest to be legally forced to submit to treatment.

I have tried talking with him until I am blue in the face about the benefits of a good fitness regime. I tell him it has done wonders for me, has opened new doors for me, has allowed me to work out in person with Cathe Friedrich, the best in the game, as well as Billy Blanks, and I have always had incredible, natural highs on all occasions. I tell him about you people on the forums, how my life through fitness has opened doors to meet some great people whom I may have never met otherwise.

I do not wish mental illness on anyone, I do not want to go through what I went through ever again. However, I will say that my ordeal is made me so much stronger, made me a better husband to my wife, a better friend to my friends. That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger, I really believe that!

I want him to use me as an example. The first few times I worked out after being diagnosed with depression, I couldn't stop crying, I mean I was bawling, I was an emotional wreck, yet I completed the workout. I never made the huge mistake he is making of wanting to stay in bed all day. The choice is up to him, all I can do is hope he'll follow my lead. I guess I answered my original question.

Thanks for listening, you all rock!
 
>The choice is up
>to him, all I can do is hope he'll follow my lead.

EXACTLY! that, coupled with what dave said, is great advice.
 
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