Anyone take a break or give up on TTC?

bmccartney

bmccartney

Cathlete
As most of you know, DH and I have been trying for another baby for over a year and a half. I recently found out that I'll have to have surgery, which requires 3 weeks of antibiotics (which are not safe in pregnancy)prior, then no sex until I heal. I'm not scheduled for the surgery consult until April, then beyond that I'm not sure how long everything will take. This past cycle is/was our last shot to get pregnant, and go figure, it looks like it was anovulatory. I have to take a test just to be certain next Monday before I start the antibiotics.

I was really depressed at first. But now I'm seeing another side of the situation. Like this weekend: I had a glass of wine with my dinner, had sushi with raw fish, went full out during my Cardio Coach session today, and had sex with DH just because I/we wanted to!!! AND, for the first time in over a year, I didn't take my temperature this morning - I was able to sleep in!!

Anyone else take a break from or stop TTC? How did you feel? I'm sure I'll still have my ups and downs with it, but I feel liberated at the moment. I think it will be good for our marriage too.:)
 
Bethany~ We were on the TTC bandwagon for 3 years before our beautiful twins were conceived. During that period I took many mini breaks b/c TTC is so very emotional. I'm sure you've heard it before (although it's difficult to hear) that many people finally conceive when they "give up trying". It's as if all our hardwork (stress) just gets in the way of conception occuring.

This is how it happened for us. I was taking a couple months off....to reconnect with DH (and our marraige)......focusing on our family vacation and training for my first 1/2 marathon then *BAM* we conceived.

I know of at least two women who have been here during the past 4-5 years that have TTC for a long time and have not conceived. One of the ladies has decided to adopt & the other just recently had a surgery & hopes to conceive soon (but is not fixated on it).

Bethany, I hope that you too are able to conceive in the near future. This time off will be a great plus to strengthen your marriage and balance your mind.

I think of you often, and can't wait to hear of your upcoming news of conception in the near future! Cheers!
 
Hey Bethany,

I can not speak from the time off from TTC, however, after 2 miscarriages (I have no kids) I can certainly understand. It is so stressful. There are many days that I wonder if the failed pg's are a sign that we have passed our time to have kids (DH is 40, me 36 in May). But I know it is all God's plan. Everytime I see a pg person or go to a baby shower, it always tugs at my heart. I wonder if I will ever know the joy of having a little one.

On the other hand, we are on a break so to speak for trying again, only b/c my DH was laid off and we want him to be able to find a job w/o taking one just b/c of a pregnancy. And we are trying to relax and just enjoy the time.

PS what did they did/what type of surgery are looking at? For me and the M/C, all basic labs negative. I have a histogram scheduled for Monday as a final test before we TTC in a few months.

Take Care,
Like the other Melanie, I also think of you often!
Mel (2)
 
Okay, I took a test today at 14 days past my positive OPK...and...it was positive!!!! What?!?! I didn't have a thermal shift this month and zero ovulation pain (usually I'm doubled over for a few hours), so I thought for sure we were out. Oh, and zero pregnancy symtoms either.

I feel like the chemical pregnancy tainted me in a way because I can't/won't let myself be excited or happy about this. Do most OBs do beta tests in the begininng? I'm not sure whether it's out of line to ask or not.

Melanie and Mel2, thank you so much for responding.

Melanie, your girls are so beautiful and you are such an inspiration to me with how much you have been through TTC and then being pregnant.

Mel2, I think of you often too. How did the histogram go? Will you be preventing or just "not trying" until your DH finds a job? I hope that you have a nice, relaxed break and it recharges you for when you want to try again. I can't wait to hear your positive news in a few months!;)

The surgery I'm supposed to have is for a urethral cyst. I doesn't hurt but it's gotten larger lately and is affecting my urine flow and continence. I'm not sure what will happen as far as the surgery goes if this bean is sticky.
 
Anything is possible

I'd thought I'd lend my TTC story. My 1st pg was conceived naturally after 2 yrs of trying - age 35 - ended in MC at 12 weeks. Nothing for the next year. Finally did 3 cycles of IVF for unexplained infertility. 1st cycle achieved a singleton at age 37 (low responder)...second cycle a bust, 3rd cycle a singleton at age 39. Fast forward 4 yrs to a prednisone adverse reaction in OCT 2007. December 31st, 2007 thought I was missing something and sure enough, at age 43, PG with baby 3 :eek:. We were not trying, in fact, didn't think it was possible given our history. BTW, it was only 1 time in December for the conception - not bragging just trying to say sometimes it's when you're not looking. Took 3 PG tests to be sure...still in shock almost until the birth at age 44. Felt like the grandma of the maternity unit. So, anything is possible with the exception of easily losing the baby weight at age 44/45! Good luck & baby dust to all who are TTC.
 
URgh!?!? Have you spoken to your doctor about starting progesterone immediately upon BFP?

I'm really sorry Bethany, that sucks. :(
 
Bethany Im so very sorry! I agree with Mel about the progesterone. I had 2 m/c then started prog immediatley hafter I got a bfp and all was well. Hang in there!
 
I am on 200 mg of Prometrium/day, my doc had me start it after ovulation. This was the first cycle with it. Honestly I think it may be due to weak ovulation, I have positive OPKs but no real temp rise and short luteal phases. Would Clomid help that? I'll call the OB tomorrow.:(
 
Gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about being frustrated yet again.

I actually just took off a whole year from trying to get pregnant. I had my daughter when I was 35. And then after that I had 3 miscarriages at 12 weeks, 2 after seeing the heartbeat. I just didn't feel like going through that again - I needed some time away from the emotional and physical grind of all that. Plus, I was quite overweight and really frankly just wanted to focus on losing weight and putting myself a little higher on the priority list. I actually lost 70 pounds and have really gotten much more fit, which has been one of the best things I've ever done. Plus, I like my wine on occasion! That said I was nervous the whole time because I'm getting older (will be 39 in a couple weeks). Fortunately, we just started trying and I just had a positive test on Saturday. After all the miscarriages I find that I'm pretty tentative about getting emotionally invested, but my fingers are tightly crossed. Anyway, I found it kind of a relief not to be constantly thinking about trying to be pregnant or being pregnant. But, I can also see where it's hard NOT to be trying too. Hang in there!
 
Taurus1,

Thanks for sharing your story - it's encouraging to hear that you are pregnant again after such a rocky journey! Did they every investigate the causes of your m/c's? And congratulations on your weight loss - I'm sure that wasn't easy!

I'm doing my best right now not to be crazy about TTC. I believe in my heart that it WILL happen for us someday. I found out a couple of weeks ago that I don't have to have the surgery anymore since the cyst closed itself off (the doctor thinks it's done growing and won't be a problem) so we have the go-ahead to try again. One on my co-workers is also TTC and she said something like "the race is on" (about who will get pregnant first) and I cringed inside...as if I need more pressure!:p It's hard not to compare myself to others (my SIL just told us she's pregnant with her 3rd) but I know it doesn't get me anywhere. Anyway, one of these days I'll have some good news to share!:)
 
Comparing to others is huge when TTC. I often found myself painfully comparing myself to others....often wondering if others knew how lucky they were when they did conceive. Then I went thru a phase when I felt many others weren't "worthy" of a pregnancy....and feeling like I should have some womb authority! OMG, girl! TTC is beyond tough. Hang in there....we're all pulling for you. :)
 
Thank god you don't have to have surgery. What a relief. And I agree, all the comparing with others can be stressful - I stopped talking to some people about it because I found they were almost competitive about it, not supportive (not intentionally, of course).

My doctor never really figured out why I was miscarrying - if it happens again we'll do more thorough investigating. I've been trying to act as normal as possible about this pregnancy - sometimes I think having too much information fuels my hypochondria.

Good luck with trying!!
 
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