Anyone else have a jealous DH or SO?

[delfin]

I've been married for almost 20 years... yeah, I can't believe it either. You would think my DH wouldn't be jealous of other men looking at me, talking, etc, at this stage of our relationship. But he still is... and IMO I'm way past the age of being a "hottie"! Sometimes he'll joke around, but I know that "many a true word is said in jest." It's definitely making me a little nuts. Anyone else have this issue???

 

[scm]

No, I dont. My dh takes it as a complitment for himself too.
That seems a bit strange that your dh is bothered by another man talking to you. hmmm....

 

[delfin]

It depends on the guy. Someone who is very animated and showing interest would definitely make my husband feel jealous, regardless of what I'm doing. (And BTW I never deliberately give me DH any real reason to be jealous)

 

[gym_mom]

I don't anymore. My DH was super jealous when we first started dating, but he's mostly over it. We've been together for 24 years now.

Have you tried having a serious heart to heart with him to find out why he's so worried? My DH will act up when he's feeling insecure or neglected. If I'm really busy at work or with the parent's group at my daughter's gym, he starts worrying that I'm out "picking up other guys" - and yes, he says it as a joke, but I know I need to give him some attention so that he calms down again.

It's almost like dealing with a little kid, except I sometimes feel he's being a little demanding. Particularly when I'm swamped and he's pulling the little pouty kid syndrome.

 

[delfin]

That sounds like something my DH would say! I've tried talking to him, kidding around, all kinds of things, but he keeps going back to that behavior. Frankly, I think it may have gotten worse since I've gotten into shape and shaped up my wardrobe, too. After my kids were born, and I was nursing and feeling tired and kinda frumpy, it didn't seem to be an issue.

 

[Fit_mommy]

Nope, not me. Couldn't handle that personally. I used to be the very jealous type myself going many many years back. I finally got over it but then spent 1.5 years dating an EXTREMELY jealous and clingy guy and it drove me INSANE!

DH and I are both very easy going and don't let things like that bother us. I'm thankful...it makes life much easier.

 

[naughtoj]

DH and I actually talk about how "hot" other people are when we are out. He can sometimes get jealous, I never do, but mostly its all good...;-)

 

[nancy324]

My Dad was like that with my Mom his whole life. I think a little bit of jealousy sometimes is fine, but too much can indicate a problem. My Dad definitely had problems. I'm sure my DH would be wary if he saw me talking to an old flame, but he's generally pretty secure and confident in himself. I hope this isn't too harsh, but I think your DH should take a close, hard look at what's bothering him.
-Nancy

 

[wutherhi]

I have been married twenty years as well, and my husband has also become very jealous. He hasn't always been this way. In fact, he used to ignore me almost completely. Now, he is obsessed with my every move. I prefer being ignored, to be honest. I simply made a life for myself with only his minimal presence in it, and I learned to be happy with that. Now I've had to adjust to constant scrutiny, to unbased accusations, to a loss of my freedom and peace of mind.

My husband is a closet alcoholic, and as the years pass, I believe he tries to control me because he is unable to control himself. The jealousy comes from inside him. He was jealous when I weighed 300 pounds and barely left the house. It's not a rational jealousy at all. I definitely understand what you're saying.

Shari