Advice or Encouragement....Please

A

annetoin

Active Member
Hi,

I have a beautiful 3 month old baby boy whom I love dearly. However, lately I have been having a hard time getting him down to nap in the afternoons. All of a sudden he has become really whiny and typically wakes up after about 15-20 minutes of sleeping. I can tell he is tired because he rubs his eyes etc.. I don't know what else to do. I make sure he is fed and dry but the whining continues. This goes on throughout the afternoon. I thought it might be colic but he does not continuously cry especially if you pick him up and walk around. I cannot do that for 5 hours. I have come to dread the afternoons. I have to admit that yesterday I had a melt down and when my husband came home I left the house and did not want to come back. Is this a stage he is going through? He was never like this before. I know this sounds horrible but this has made me rethink if I should have another child because I don't feel like I am cut out for this.

Thanks.
 
My baby girl had about 3 to 3 1/2 weeks when she didn't nap well and would cry. It was when she was 6-9 weeks old. I would have to rock her to sleep. This would happen pretty much at anytime except mornings. During her 9th week, she started to sleep through the night and that ended her sudden crying spells. She still took three naps during the day though at 10 months now is down to two. She's a great sleeper now despite those rougher few weeks! She learned to soothe herself about the same time with her thumb (she never liked pacifiers except to chew on them) and in the last month or so has taken to a blankey to comfort her now, too. Maybe your little one is just having a hard time soothing himself. If it's not a continuous cry then it's probably a stage he's going through. I sang to my baby a song that I made up and still sing to her now when she's getting a little tired. She stops whatever she's doing to listen to me sing it! It's so cute.
 
Ah. The "Bewitching Hour." Yes, it is just a phase, and yes, it will pass, I promise! My son had it from 4 to 8p.m. That is dinner time and homework time so I was STRESSED!!

I got a Nojo sling and carried him around in it. I was able to make him feel secure and get all the things I needed to get done at the same time. I then eased him into sleeping by himsself. I rubbed his back and sang to him while he was crying so that he would feel comforted. I would sing for 20 minutes one day, and then 15 the next, and then 10, etc. I would let him cry it out, and eventually he got it. Don't be afraid to let him cry (he won't remember it at all, promise!). If you need a break, take it. You can't be a good mom if you are a crazy mom! I would let Logan cry and then go outside and garden a bit or read so that I could calm down.

I have left my DH with the kids, too. It really is stressful to hear them cry and not b able to fix it. I have even wanted to pull out my hair! But it passes, and soon you will forget all the trouble he put you through and then you will undeniably get pregnant again! It happens to the wisest of us! Then we all wonder why we would do this AGAIN... it is a vicious cycle!

Good luck!

Missy
 
Hi! This is what works for me...putting my son on his stomach to sleep. He falls asleep within 5 minutes. I know all about what the experts say about "back to sleep", but at 3-4 months, I felt that this is what worked best for him. On his back, every little twitch wakes him up. And, if you think about it, the dr.'s used to tell our parents to place us on our stomachs to sleep so we wouldn't choke on our spit-up. You may want to try it putting your son on his stomach or if you would feel better about it, on his side (you can wedge him like that). Make sure he has good neck control, though.

I know a lot of mothers who do this with their babies.
I hope you find something that works for you.
-Jen
 
Jen, I absolutely agree with you. I put all of my kids on their bellies too. Just make sure that there isn't ANYTHTING in the crib. I also didn't use very soft sheets. Oh, and put him under a vent so there is plenty of air circulation to help do away with carbon dioxide and bring fresh air to him.
 
I totally understand your feelings and the stress that is part of the "bewitching hour." A really great nurse (lactation consultant) told me that babies get pretty panicked in the evening due to a fear that with the long night coming they won't get enough food to survive the night (thus cluster feedings happen.) I also think that most humans get fairly cranky at around dinner time. So - join the ranks of all us new moms that have the same exact feelings you do.
Just know that you are not alone with all those feelings. In fact, most people understand completely.
As far as the Back to Sleep campaign... I know all the research supports back sleeping - but personally, it feels wrong to get an infant to relax in that position with all the flailing arms/legs, etc. The only way it works for our 7 week old is to be swaddled REALLLY TIGHT. That has worked for us but again it all feels wrong. There is an excellent book called the Happiest Baby on the Block that you may want to check-out. It has been a really excellent resource for both myself and our new little one.
 
Thank you all for your advice and encouragement.

I too agree that back sleeping is not for every baby. My little guy gets into a deep sleep and then his little arms and legs start flailing like crazy and then he wakes up frustrated as well me getting frustrated. I understand what the experts say about back sleeping, but it does not work for every baby. Now that he is 3 months old, sleeping on this back is little better, but not much.

I think I have to deal with the fact that I have a very inquisitive 3 month who thinks he will miss something if he goes down for a nap. I am very surprised at the things he is doing at only 3 months old.

THANKS AGAIN!!! :7
 
It isn't much consolation, but sooner or later, this too shall pass.

Parenthood is not easy. Just know that you are not alone and all of the feelings that you are experiencing are very rational and normal. What would be abnormal is if you were actually thinking about having a 2nd child already. Babies are not "easy" because that is Mother Nature's way to keep us from having them too close together(that is my perspective atleast).

My son was very inquisitive as well. It seemed like by the time I got him to sleep (which might take 45 minutes), he would only sleep for 20 minutes and then he was awake again. He also had a fussy time of day in the evenings. When that happened, I would put him in a snuggli-type carrier and I would put in a Cathe tape and just step up and down to the beat (no moves, just basic step). It made both of us feel better.

Do take a break for yourself if you can and let others help you. Many other mother's have been in your shoes and would love to help, but you have to LET them help and not think that you have to SUFFER through this time. It really is a time in life to enjoy.

Best Wishes,

Tina
 
I understand where you are coming from. I had sleep issues w/my son for his first 14 months - when he finally decided to sleep through the night! Keep your chin up, call your ped if you need more advice - those nurses can be SSOOOO helpful! Have a melt down, don't worry as long as you pick yourself back up again your totally in the normal stress of every mom. BTW sidenote, is he eatting a lot right now? He could be going through another growth spurt, I thought 3 months was a key month. Anyway, chin up, it does get better!:)
 
Hi there,

I'm currently 'taking five' while my 9 month old is crying in his crib. This is my third attempt today at trying to get him to nap in his crib (it's about 2:00p). He's exhausted. He's fallen asleep on me twice after I've bf'ed him and once on my husband's chest. He wakes suddenly when we move towards his room.

I've noticed he goes through spurts of nap/non-nap. We were doing really well for the past month with two naps in the crib, but Sunday he started to rebel against his crib again. His sleep while he cut his first two teeth (at 7 mos) was really irregular. I can feel his two top teeth, but they're not ready to break through yet. I can only think it's due to 'separation anxiety' or that he wants to play still. Puzzling.

My heart goes out to you. It's tough. Definitely give yourself some time to take some deep breaths, take a warm shower, or read the paper. I keep thinking my little guy is going to fade and drift off to sleep. He's got some endurance. (Maybe it's from those Cathe videos I did while I was pregnant..hehe.) It's about 2:15 now...I'm off to check on him. Maybe we'll have to take a little walk around the block. :)

~~~sending you positive vibes and encouragement~~~
Check back in and let us know how you're doing!!
Tana
 
Hi All,

It appears that my son has been doing better in the past few days. I do believe it has alot to do with me. The afternoons had become so overwhelming with him crying that I started to dread the afternoons terribly and I think he could sense that. I had a revelation that I must count my blessings because he goes to bed around 8:30 and doesn't wake up until about 5AM (he woke up at 4AM today)for a bottle and goes back to sleep, so why should I complain! I have started to accept the fact that he may not want to sleep in the afternoons and I have to go with the flow and things have been better. He is improving.

The one thing that me and my husband are quite rigid about is bedtime. We stick to the same routine every night no matter what. It starts with us giving him a bath around 7:30 followed by a bottle about a 1/2 hour later and to bed he goes. It is working so well, that he begins to get tired at 7pm and sometimes we have to fight to get him to drink his last bottle of the night, which is key in getting him to sleep through the night. I also give him an extra 1/2 ounce to carry him through. He has been sleeping in his crib, in his own room for about 6 weeks now. My instincts kicked in about 6-7 weeks ago and told me that it was time for him to be in his own room as I was not sleeping well with him in my room, and I wanted him to get used to his crib and not our bed.

I have also learned that a little crying does not hurt them. My little guy is a con artist!! He will scream his head off like he is in terrible pain, but as you are lifting him up he stops and laughs. As he is now getting older I may let him cry a little longer from time to time and he is slowly learning how to entertain himself.

We are both growing up!! :7
 
Boy, i know how tough that time of a babies' life can be! Its a funny mix of great joy, wonder and frustration too, when they won't sleep!

Our first baby would only sleep on me; the moment i tried to set her down, she would wake up and cry. I'm talking all day and night...it was, quite frankly, miserable for me...

For us, we were advised (by our pediatrician) to set a general feeding, nap, and bedtime schedule. Wow! It was tough at first, trying to change the habits of a 12 weed old, but what a difference!!

It was really hard for me to let her cry a while, but we are so glad we did! It returned our household, also, to some sense of normalcy...

We used a general feeding/nap/bed schedule when our 2nd baby came along too, which again, made things a lot easier, and because I wasn't so exhausted, i could enjoy my baby much more, too!!...

sorry this is so long, but i can sympathize; just remember, it really does get better!!
 
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