Advice from the educated motherhood crowd

[lesliemarie]

I have a soon to be 5 year old, I have tried nearly every thing I can think of to get him to potty in the toilet but he will not POOP in the toilet, I have had to throw out tons of underwear that I have resorted to pull-ups I don't like them to potty train kids and I have never used them on my other three kids when I potty trained them, but this child is in a class of his own here. There are some days, few and far between, he will potty in the toilet but he rather just poop in his pants. I have tried the treats and didn't get anywhere with that.
Please anyone give all the advice you have so I can try some other techniques on him, He is also 1 1/2 years delopmentally delayed, and Also ADHD and on strattera.

 

[cab54]

Hmmm.....is there anyone he just LIVES to emulate? Someone besides you and daddy. When I told my oldest son that his uncle (a real favorite at the time and he loved to be just like him)---that uncle NEVER went in his pants. That was the end of that. I honestly didn't expect it to work.

Unfortunately, with some kids, it takes peer pressure----more in the form of peer ridicule, but I know you would rather he didn't have to go through that. Maybe a trip to a special place after a week of going in the potty? Good luck.

 

[EricaH]

Tell him that if he continues to poop in his underwear, that he will have to be confined to the bathroom (or kitchen/bathroom if you want to be nicer). Explain to him that his bowel movements belong in the toilet and have germs and that this is a health issue - if he has feces in his pants, he can spread germs. It's a very logical consequence. You can even tell him that the doctor told you that this needs to be done so that you are not the "bad guy".

Be consistent and don't let him out of the designated area until he stays clean or shows improvement.

Good luck.

Erica

 

[strong@heart]

Hi! I have a 5 year old daughter who is also very strong-willed. I remember at the age of 3, she would go in her pants at times. I remember that the only way that I could remedy this was to have HER clean herself up ( with a bit assistance from me of course! ) and it became such a nuisance to her to have to do this everytime that she tried harder to get to the toilet and to this day has not been an issue. I believe that this "forced" her to take her toileting issues more seriously and when she realized that it was up to HER to clean up herself after being somewhat lazy about going to the potty, she chose the potty over her pants! I always reassured, though, that there would be times that she would have accidents and that was ok. What was NOT ok was when she had full access to the potty and ample time to go and decides to go in her pants. I never made a big deal of it either. I simply told her when she deliberately went in her pants was, " OK, now it's time to clean yourself up. Next time, do your business in the potty and you'll stay nice and clean." Scolding never got us anywhere. As for rewards, well, the stakes get higher with those so I decided the only "reward" for going to the potty was the feeling of accomplishment from using the potty like a Big Girl and knowing that she COULD do it. Confidence and self-esteem were the best rewards for my daughter and I can't think of anything better! Good luck and hang in there! :7

 

[lesliemarie]

He cleans himself up without me knowing, I will go into his room and on the floor is his poopy pants and of course poop in the carpet and I have to use my carpet cleaner to clean it up. I told him I would buy him a new bike if he would go potty in the toilet and he did good for a few weeks and then he would go back to pottying in his pants. I have tried to tell him his friends potty in the toilet and they don't poop their pants but for some reason he doesn't understand that. It was so bad before he wouldn't pee in the toilet he would pee in the other kids shoes or where ever he was at, But now he doesn't do that now, he just poops his pants, he will pee in the toilet. Just not poop in the toilet. I told him I would buy him a new toy if he can go a week without pooping his pants but he just doesn't understand time concept yet.
When he has gone in the toilet I will give him a huge hug and praise him for that but then an hour later he poops his pants.
When he is outside and poops his pants outside I just bring him in and won't let him play outside the rest of the day and tell him why

 

[lindzebird]

Have you tried a star chart or something similar that he can see the progress he's making? Maybe if you let him place a sticker on a chart everytime he uses the potty for #2, tell him that once he reaches a certain number of stickers that he'll earn some type of reward...day at zoo, swimming party, or something that'll peak his interest. That way you'll bypass the time thing and he'll get a reward everytime he goes (sticker) and a big reward when you think he's earned it.

 

[lesliemarie]

So far so good, we found a potty training sticker chart at Wal-Mart and he so far has been doing good!! crossing my fingerst that this is what it takes to get him to potty again in the toilet.