Adoption

Z

ZT27

Cathlete
Hi,
My husband and I are talking about adopting a child. We have 2 kids together. I'm not sure if I'm able to have another one due to my pregnancy problems (severe, severe water retention, high blood pressure but no diseases of any kind. My body just simply hates being pregnant although I LOVED every minute of it) I don't know where to start. Anyone who adopted children, could you please send me a PM if you want to keep it private. I know Melody adopted 3 children. Anyway, any advice or help would be appreciated.

Lisa :)
 
I don't have any experience with this personally, but I know it's a big difference if you have age/sex/ethnic/health preferences. I believe that domestically there are many children who need homes, but they are generally NOT infants and some of them, being the product of multiple foster homes, may have behavioral or health issues or both.

If you are looking to adopt a healthy infant, I believe this is generally a long and sometimes expensive process. I don't know how long it takes in the US, but my brother and his wife are currently adopting an infant from China. They are over a year into the paperwork and they probably will not get her for 6-8 more months. It is pretty expensive (about 20K), but since is the only child they will have, they want an infant and a healthy one. (My SIL can't have children and I don't think they'd go through this again.)

You should probably start by searching for laws and regulations in your state.

Have you considered fostering?

Good luck! I would love to have or adopt a couple more children, but my lifestyle just won't allow it. (I work and travel too much.)

Marie
 
I have a couple customers that adopted.
One got a little boy cathlic charities i believe and 30 grand.
Another found one somehow and only paid atourney fees.(And he looks like them)amamzing.
The bad part is adoption i know in Pa. the parents have 6 months to change their mind. It would break my heart to loose a baby after 6 months.
My neighbor has a korean little girl. Mom has sugar and couldn't adopt , so they went out of the country. Cost?.
What ever you do .... Good luck!
Anne

http://www.picturetrail.com/acatalina
 
I know it can be extremely expensive. A friend of mine adopted a toddler from China and it cost them over 30K. OUCH! I've thought about fostering but I don't want to get attached then have the kids leave. Know what I mean?

I'd love to adopt an infant up to a year old. I'm looking for hard for hearing/deaf child. Overall, I'd like the child to be very healthy. I don't know if I can handle an older child with behavorial problems or mental problems. I feel it really takes a special person to deal with that. (Melody (HUGS)) I'm not trying to find an easy way out or anything. Another problem I have is I'm not able to fly out of the country to meet the child or bring the child home. I know some children from another country are brought to this country for the adoptive parents.

Anyway, thank you for your responses. I appreciate it. :)

Lisa
 
I have no helpful advice but wanted to say that I think it is wonderful that you are thinking of adopting. I had a friend that was adopted. His brother was also adopted, but from a separate family. I always thought that his parents were such special people for making such a wonderful home for them that they otherwise might not have had.
 
Lisa, I think what you're wanting to do is terrific! I've ALWAYS wanted to adopt children starting from my late teens. I haven't adopted as of yet but still hope to in the future. For me, I want to adopt an older child because I've got 4 nieces and went through all the baby stages with them plus, I need my sleep, lol. I've collected some phone numbers along the way. I can't guarantee you that these places are for infants since I wanted to adopt older children and I know they had numbers specifically for this. But at least you can ask them to direct you to agencies that have infants if that's what you're looking for. Hope this helps! Good luck and please keep us posted!

1-800-TO ADOPT
1-877-OK SWIFT
1-800-422-3263
1-800-432-2075 or www.cyfd.org
1-888-871-5437 (might be for older kids)

*ETA Rosie O'Donnell has adopted her children and has given out phone numbers on where to adopt and I know she adopted infants. If you do a search under her name, maybe you could find the agencies that she recommends.

Bam
 
Lisa,
We adopted our first child and used an egg donor for our 2nd child and the 3rd child was a miracle and according to doctors would never happen. We adopted Melissa our first child in Illinois and it took us about a year. It was definitley a difficult process for us. We used an agency called Lutheran and family services. They would help locate pregnant women who were looking into adoption. We did go through several birth moms that changed their mind, but we did finally get our newborn beautiful baby that was meant for us. I would definitley do it again and yes it can be difficult, but so worth it. There are many ways to get started. You can either choose an agency for help or you can try to locate your own birthmom. The way you do that is through a newspaper ad saying that you and your husband would love to adopt a baby and if there is anyone looking into adoption to contact them. It sounds very strange doing that, but most adoptions do take place with that approach. It is called Independent adoption. Anyway, feel free to ask me any questions. I know how hard and confusing it can be. Good luck!


Susan
 
I would just be really careful. I remember last year there was a story about some woman who was running a pseudo-agency online and taking money from families and not actually doing the adoptions. So just be careful and do research. I would think it might be best to find a support group with people who have been successful at adoption and using agencies they refer.

Again, good luck!

Marie
 
We adopted 3 girls from China (on 3 separate occassions). Right now they are ages 4, 6, and 8. We went through an agency in Colorado called Chinese Children Adoption International. We live in New York state. No problems what so ever in being in another state. We had excellent luck with this agency and would highly recommend them if you would be interested in China. The cost was about $ 18,000 for each one but right now there is a $ 10,000 federal tax credit so the cost really isn't all that bad. (Meaning in the end it would cost you about $ 8,000 after the credit). These dollars include travel costs and pretty much everything else. Good luck!!
 
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