ACoA Anyone?

[jaypea]

Hi Everyone,
I have been seeing a therpaist for some unexplained depression/anxiety, and after talking at length with me, she suggested that it is probably because I grew up in a household where my father drank and was verbally abusive to my mom, my siblings and to me which then led me to me an Adult Child of an Alcoholic-ACoA. I had never heard of this before, and I guess I never thought about it since my dad had a great job, only drank 2 beers a night when he was younger (he drinks about 6 beers a night now), and provided for us. But,when I moved back in with my parents after college for two years, I noticed that he was drinking more every evening and acting so nasty towards my mom and to me.

But the more I read about ACoA, the more I believe my therapist is right on! I don't live in the same town as my parents, but I still carry some of the hurt from the verbal abuse and his very strict parenting skills/odd behaviors which may have led to my depression and anxiety. I am thinking about attending a local support group for ACoA, and I was wondering if any of you have ever heard of ACoa, may be an ACoa or have ever attended a support group like this. If you feel more comfortable, you may send me a pm at [email protected].
As always, thanks for being so smart and supportive

 

[dlavie]

I hadn't heard of them. Support groups can be uplifting or more depressing.

I am a recovering alcoholic, I say recovering because I knew there was a problem about 27 years ago, the Navy provided my rehab. I extremely limit myself and stage any drinking to have a natural closure. I enjoy the taste of wine otherwise I would totally quit.

The true test of a recovery group is what it does for you, but you have to participate not just sit and listen.

Try the group.
Good luck.

Dave

 

[Aquajock]

I am a sober alcoholic (almost 19 years now of strict abstinence from all alcohol and other mood/mind-altering substances) and I live in arguably the Treatment Capitol Of The United States - the Minnesota Twin Cities area. Way back in the day when I went to 12-step groups, several people I was acquainted with also went to ACoA fellowships as well, that appeared to have a great deal in common with Al-Anon (for the families of alcoholics both practicing and sober) and Al-Ateen (for teenaged family members of alcoholics).

Like DLavie, I would argue that some support groups can help and some can hurt. I suggest, if you do find that the ACoA literature resonates with you, to attend a few meetings, and keep your eyes, ears and brain open as well as your heart and soul. Sometimes, just depending on the people attending, the individual groups can be focused on using their shared past to go forward to build and maintain productive presents and futures; conversely, sometimes the individual groups can be focused on the past only and its never-reconcilable resentments. And sometimes individual members can be very altruistic, sincere people, and sometimes they can be emotional predators. Trust me, I've seen both in sobriety-focused support groups.

HTH - you're welcome to PM me by clicking on my Aquajock moniker here on the forums if you have more questions.

Keep us posted, and congratulations on seeking the help that you need!

A-Jock