Update on DH and me

L

lisaannjam

Cathlete
Hi Ladies,

Since I have received such a genuine outpouring of love and support from so many with regard to my last post (needed help with regard to my DH), I thought I would share some good news.

I've been seeing a therapist weekly by myself and once a week with DH!! I just cannot believe the changes that I have seen in him. He finally recognized how much "pain" I was in and has truly made an effort to change his ways. He said he was just going along and really did not think about how his behavior (and lousy moods), high expectations, etc. really affected me.

DH's Mom helped to give him the wake-up call that he really better pay attention because he was going to lose me for the same reasons he lost his ex wife.

Anyhow, we are doing better. And I definitely needed the therapy for myself. I am just too damn accomodating for my own good. But I'm learning everyday.

Thank you to everyone who reached out to me and continue to show me their support. It has meant so much to me, and I hope you all know I would do the same for you in a heartbeat!!

Edited to say...this quote from someone very special here and really helped change my perspective even before I started therapy....

"I don't want to build my life around you but want to include you in the building of my life."

THANK YOU!!!!!

I say that to myself each and every day now.







:) :)
 
Lisa I am so glad to hear it!!!

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
Lisa,

It's nice to hear good news. You're to be commended on working to save your marriage and I wish you and DH all the best.:)
 
Catherine and Sparrow...thanks so much!!!

Thanks Brandi!! It IS a great quote and I try to live by it now. And I LOVE your "furry babies"!!!

Melody...thanks so much for your compliment. I didn't know if it was going to be salvagible. But underneath ALL the "crap" there was love. I love it now when I see DH thinking before he speaks and doing household chores. We're both working hard. Thanks again, Sweetie!:)
 
YEAH!!! I am so happy to hear things are going better! I LOVE to see couples work towards a loving and rewarding partnership! GREAT JOB to both of you!!

Keep it up, keep working! It's worth it! It won't always be easy but it won't always be hard, either.
 
YAY LISA!!!!! I'm so glad that your DH is going to therapy with you! This is such wonderful news! :D :D :D
-Nancy
 
Thanks so much Ladies!! I got such wonderful advice here and I'm so grateful for it. It's not easy...but it's getting easier everyday. Hope you are all well! :)
 
I agree with Shelley, you are such a sweet person, and you are always spreading joy around, you really do deserve lots of happiness. Please promise you won't settle for anything less, okay? :D
-Nancy
 
Nancy...I PROMISE, I won't settle for less. The therapy is really helping me see how I am just too accomodating to ALL of my loved ones. I don't know how to set boundaries...I don't know how to say "NO"...etc. I'm learning a lot. It has really been an eye-opening experience. I've learned that not everyone has a loving heart, and I've got to take care of mine!!!:) But, I'm sure grateful for all the loving hearts I've found here.

Thanks so much!!:)
 
Lisa, I am so happy to hear that. The therapy sounds right on the money from where I'm sitting! :D Keep up the great work. It sounds like you've accomplished a lot in such a short time.
-Nancy
 
Thanks for sharing your story Lisa. It's moving to hear that your husband is willing to yield and change to accomodate you and help you get happy. You deserve no less. You are blessed to have a MIL that is supportive of your marriage. I really respect that you are both willing to put in the hard work and soul searching it takes to keep a marriage thriving and healthy. I'm so happy for you!

Take Care
Laurie:)
 
Thanks, Laurie. You are so right, I am truly blessed to have my MIL. I adore her and thank God for her every single day. And being as wonderful as she is...I know her son must have those qualities in him as well. Sometimes they are buried. We are both working hard, and I want us both to be as happy. He's learning to compromise, something foreign to him before. I'm learning not to take everything personally....something foreign to me before. The therapy is such hard work, but definitely worth it.

Thank you again so much. I so appreciate your good thoughts for me.:)
 
Glad to hear you are seeing what you need for yourself. It seems that others (especially those close to you) will take and take until you break. But . . . if you don't give, many times they will do what they need to in order make things work.

So, so, so happy for you !

Kudos for putting in so much effort to make things work.
 
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