Opinion from mothers of daughters.

Oh Also I think you should have you daughter read these posts about it !!! she might just change her mind ...or not get so mad if you say NO !!
 
Having a boyfriend is out of the question! She knows she has got to be 16 yrs old before that would take place. She is not even allowed to go to the mall walking around with friends or go to the movies. I am very strict in many ways and she knows it. She is only allowed as of now to spend the night with 2 friends, and that is cause I know the parents. They are the same way as I am. I am a very protective mother and have been told so by many people. So I even wonder why this doesn't bother me. Her getting around guys right now is not possible. In fact this is something she has mentioned for about two years. Back then I did say no.

Yeah, I wonder why she wants one if noone will see it. Maybe it is the infatuation of having it. She probably could get tired of not being able to brag on it and not want it anymore. This maybe is something she needs to experience for herself. Who knows!


Thank you for all the advice all of you are giving me!


kim
 
My niece is 16, who I take care of when her mother is off to do the army thing. She wanted to get her belly button pierced we all said no. And actually did it herself when we left her home to study.

Well we found out about it, when it got infected, she found out it snags on clothing if you try to hide it. If you take it out, it will grow closed so you do have to wear the stud/ring constantly. It takes a ton of work to keep it clean as that's the place that sweat and bacteria just sits around. We manage to save her piercing at least in the infected stage, but she found out it was too much work, so took it out a few weeks later. I can tell you for a fact, her's got caught a ton of times, on the weirdest things, she was even hooked to the seatbelt in the car. Which had to be a funny site for anyone who looked into my car, as I had to get my face down to where her belly button was, so I could see how it got hooked in the material of the seat belt, so I could snip the threads so she could get out of the car. Not to mention I thought I was going to be turned into a pretzel with the funny way I had to sit.

But another way to look at having your belly button periced is for the guys to look down there. As not too many girls go, oh you got a cute belly button ring today. It's to catch the guy's eye and make them look, and it's generally a sex symbol. Look I got this nice flat tummy, and this sparkly belly button for you to drool over.

Kit
 
Hey kit- I never thought about it getting hung on her clothes and other things. I don't think she knows all about the different things that can happen. I am definitely letting her read this thread.


kim
 
I just thought that I, being a younger person on these boards, should offer my opinion. I'm 24 and I got my belly button pierced when I was 18. It was just something fun for me. I didn't really display it ever (aside from wearing a swimsuit), but I know that I liked having it.

I think the belly button is the only body piercing that I would be ok with my child having - when she is at the right age (although I am childless right now). With a belly button ring, no one really sees it unlike a nose or eyebrow ring. And it is temporary - I took mine out during college. I just didn't want it anymore.

I do think 13 is a bit young and she might feel inclined to show it off. At that age, I would think it is more about being 'sexy' like she sees on tv or in magazines rather than having her own reasons for doing it.

I did not experience any problems after it was pierced. I cleaned it daily for 2 weeks with sea salt & water and after those 2 weeks I never really gave it a second thought. I also, luckily, never had it get caught on anything. I probably would have taken it out a lot sooner if I had had that problem!

Just my two cents,
Jessica
 
Jumping in a little late here. My daughter got her belly-button pierced at 16. It looked GREAT, I have to admit. She got sick of it and took it out and let it grow in at 20. She said it was the most pain she's ever experienced, and she took really good care of it so it never got infected. She has no other piercings except two in each ear lobe, and she has a small tasteful 1" black only tattoo on her ankle.

I do think 13 is too young for a piercing, unless it's the earlobes.
 
I really wanted to get mine pierced several years ago, but changed my mind very quickly after seeing what it looks like infected. x( A friend of my sisters did it at 15 without telling her parents and came to me after it got infected. Several of rounds of antibiotics later, she still has a scar. I always wondered what it would look like after having a baby. I have a 2 year old daughter and wouldn't let her do it until she's out on her own! Just my 2 cents!

As someone said earlier, the fake ones look really cute!! ;-)

Marsha
 
Our older DD got her belly button pierced (she was over 18 and on her own) and had trouble with it...fortunately nothing really serious...still uncomfortable. I just sort of laughed at her discomfort and made comments, nothing much, just enough so she finally removed the ring and let it heal up. Thank God!

I agree there are worse things she could be wanting, but still it's not a great idea for a 13 year old.
 
My daughter asked me a couple of years ago if she could get her belly-button pierced. I told her she had to wait till she's 16. Well, she turned 16 a couple weeks ago and the only piercing she's mentioned has been second holes in her ears. A few of her friends have gotten their belly buttons pierced and she saw how much trouble it was and heard how much they regret it. Waiting was worth it and basically, their mistake saved her the hassle!


Angie
 
Well, I have seen lots of responses that I would have posted myself, so I won't repeat anything. However, I have three daughters, and the 13 year old has a friend spending the night tonight so I asked their opinions on this:

My DD: She used to really want one because she thought they were cute and cool. She liked the different kinds of jewelry available, and liked the idea of showing it off to her friends that spend the night, or when she goes to the pool. She changed her mind when she heard comments from boys her age, feeling that they saw belly-button rings as a sign of a girl being sexy and "willing". She said she thought it portrayed the wrong image; she didn't want to be seen as being "that way". (she is kind of a feminist at heart)

Friend: Was allowed to make the decision to get one or not, and her mom took her to get it done. (Mom has one and had no trouble with it at all, she got it as a reward for losing 30 pounds. 15 yo sister has one, but it got infected, finally healed, but is crooked.) When mom took her, they refused to pierce the 13 y.o. They said that "any reputable body artist won't do anyone under the age of 15", and then only if a parent is present, because they feel 13 is "too young to properly care for it, and may not be doing it for the right reasons." She says she still wants one, but doesn't know if she will get it done when she is 15 or not, because of what her sister went through.

Bottom line: Both still think they look cute, love the different jewelry, but are going to wait and think on it to see if it is something they want in the long run.

Julie
 
Personally, I wouldn't have any problem if my daughter (She's 12) wanted a belly button piercing. Only because I think it's one of those pick your battles issues. I mean really, there could be much bigger issues than a body piercing, such as drugs or inappropriate boyfriends, or any boyfriend at 13, (I'm not counting the boy my daughter says she "likes" and school. They are hardly dating, they only see each other at school) ditching school, not keeping up with school work, or other such behavior.

That being said, I think this is a great opportunity to use this as collateral for other behaviors you would like to see from her. Does she sometime fudge curfew? Does she need to work on her school work more? Keep her room cleaner? Etc, Etc Etc....You pick the desired behavior that you want to see exhibited as a sign of increased maturity and responsibility and she can decide if it's really worth all the effort to do it in order to get her belly button ring. If you tell her she has to keep her room clean and her grades up for the course of one school year and she can have that belly button ring, she may just decide it's way to much effort and you no longer have to make the decision yourself. It's her choice after all how much she really wants that belly button ring.

Also, if your worried about infection, you could tell her that you will be checking it every couple of day's and if there is any sign of infection the ring will be coming out, as it's obvious that she is not mature enough to take care of it properly and thus the issue is already over at that time as well.

I should also mention that my daughter is not likely to ever ask for a belly button ring as her father (we are divorced and share custody) would have a conniption fit and she would never brave that.


I hope this helps.

Laura
 
Don't they have magnetic belly button rings? You could get her a few to play around with at the pool... and watch how fast she loses them. ;)

http://www.body-jewelry-shop.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=26

I did a quick google search and this was the first one I found. I think that would be fun- tell her no, then give her a magnetic one for her bday.

I have 3 holes in each ear and only wear one pair of earrings. So I have 2 empty holes. I didn't care when I got the peircings in high school that I wouldn't want the 3 forever- and they don't bug me at all and no one notices either. But knowing now, I'd probably not get the 2nd and 3rd peircings again.

I'm still considering a belly ring myself, at 28. Maybe I should get a magnetic one too!! Hey, I like that idea.

Sorry to bust in on the mother's thread since I'm not a mom, but really- do you think any woman can be silent in a mother/daughter thread?? :D
 
Oh, also, what you said "there are worst things she could want to do"- 13 seems to me like too young an age to have a mom thinking along those lines.

I of course agree that a peircing isn't a life-altering thing, but it still seems really young.

At 13 what other things can you think of? Nothing I'd want any 13 year old to be considering, I'm sure.
 
Hello ladies,

Well my problem was solved without anyone losing a limb! Her friend that takes dancing with her told her that belly button piercing was not allowed. She didn't argue with that because she loves dance. As long as she takes this she probably won't mention a piercing anymore. I am rather relieved!

I want to thank all of you ladies for sharing your opinions and advice with me. That's why I come to you,because I know all of you will be honest. Some of you more brutal than others!LOL! I am just kidding ladies. Thanks again for all your advice!


I'm glad all of you are there when I need you!



kim
 

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