Radclmystic
Member
I have cleaned up my act although this morning I watched a video taken of me playing tennis and honestly I was as fat as the first day I started really trying to change my body. Instead of crying and losing it...I decided to play (I am at a tennis camp) and get honest about my eating. OBVIOUSLY my eating has really loosened up, some for the holidays and I notice I will mimic and keep pace with My BF who eats anything and it barely shows. I have been cheating and eating chocolate , nuts and fruit and high fat cheese at night (with him) so no wonder! I know> I am well educated on clean eating well... plus he watches a cooking show and I realize I need to go do something else when it's on because it makes me want to eat. I was gutted when I saw the video. Oh and there is a slim woman who barely eats in this camp because she talks through the meal and I notice she hardly touched her plate. Do I have to become a food hater and not eat?. I am so sad and depressed about how FAT I am. I do the DVD's and I run and I cross country ski and I spin and I am no slouch. So I know under all of this fat is muscle.
Still how long will it be until I look anything like Cathe (being cut)YOu know? I am so ready to cry my eyes out and I feel very frustrated as if I can't humanly do more sport and weights. So I guess this is a plateau and I am teetering on losing my mind and quitting because I am really just as fat as before after a year of hard core working out. Seriously I look as fat as when I first started. I am really bummed. Okay tennis clothes are not very flattering but my gut my legs look huge.
I guess I am in La La land thinking I am working hard. Obviously I am not. I am fat. maybe fit but I am FAT. UGH...Help.:-(
Still how long will it be until I look anything like Cathe (being cut)YOu know? I am so ready to cry my eyes out and I feel very frustrated as if I can't humanly do more sport and weights. So I guess this is a plateau and I am teetering on losing my mind and quitting because I am really just as fat as before after a year of hard core working out. Seriously I look as fat as when I first started. I am really bummed. Okay tennis clothes are not very flattering but my gut my legs look huge.
I guess I am in La La land thinking I am working hard. Obviously I am not. I am fat. maybe fit but I am FAT. UGH...Help.:-(