Dog lovers....

[kristina]

My dog died 4 months ago and it totally did not hit me until this week...settin up the tree, etc. Every show on TV this week has had a dead pet story in it.
I can't have another dog right now (We've moved to a no-pets place) and I didn't think I wanted one. My little guy was a gift 10 years ago...
I feel kinda silly being so upset about it. Especially this wierd delayed reaction. I am normally NOT sentimental, but I have been dreaming about my dog and waking up so very very sad.
Anyone else loose a pet and go through this? **sigh**

 

[StephanieB]

Oh yes..

My parents were divorced when I was younger and in about 1983 or so (I was around 14) my dad got this really cool Airdale. She was smart, protective, and just an all around good dog. Well she got me through a lot of hard times, a divorce and pregnancy (at the same time) and stuff like that. We had to put her down in July 1994 as she was having a lot of health problems. I wasn't even in the same state then. I cried then but thought I moved on. Well apparently not because in 1997 when I was pregnant with my daughter I could not stop thinking about this dog and crying about her EVERY NIGHT. I mean it was driving my husband crazy because he was like "it really wasn't your dog" and not technically, but she did help me through hard times. Now that I am pregnant again it started up again...I don't know what it is about her but I suppose it has to do with her really being just there when I needed someone. I miss her a lot especially now that we have another dog who has a totally different personality and breed, and yes he's great but he's not her. I just kind of try to remember the good times and realize that death is natural, but I haven't figured out at way to not miss her.

Stephanie

 

[RBurke]

It took me a year to get over the loss of one of my dogs. I get really attached to my pets. It wouldn't be right for me not to grieve over the loss. They are such wonderful friends. I didn't get over it until I got another one really. Allow yourself to miss your dog. It is natural. It isn't silly at all.

 

[val92083]

My beagle is 12 years old and acts like a puppy. However, he has a terrible heart arrhythmia (spelling?) and some valve problems. He is on tons of meds, but his health problems have not yet affected his spirit. He is still very playful and alert. The vet says that he can have no forced exercise like walks. This was tough to hear because we used to walk a lot, and now I can never walk him again. The vet says that he will most likely drop dead suddenly. I can't even begin to imagine life without him. My husband and I love him so much. We will both be devastated when his life ends. I know that I will spend lots of time crying, and our house won't be the same without him. Luckily, our friends are all dog-lovers, so they will understand our grief. I can understand how badly you must feel. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed of your feelings.

Take care, and if you continue to feel badly, write again. Tell us some stories about your dog...maybe that'll help.

Veronica

 

[KimberlyH]

Kristina--
I think the grief attached to losing a pet never completely goes away--it just lessens with time. Four months is still pretty recent, and this is an emotionally-laden time of year.

You'll probably think this is totally stupid, but here goes ... I lost my beloved 13-year old kitty about four years ago. Whenever I'm suddenly reminded of her, I like to think that on some spiritual level, it's her contacting me, as if to say "Hey, remember me? How are you?", and that these reminders are our departed loved ones way of staying in our hearts.

Enjoy the holidays and cherish your memories of your dog.

 

[hounddogs]

Dear Kristina:

I completely empathize with you and encourage you to give yourself all the time you need to go through the stages of grief. I have had dogs all my forty years--I have five now. I will always associate the first time I did a Firm workout with the day my nine-year-old basset hound was stricken by a burst tumor--he jumped down off the couch and cried out in pain while I was in pain doing floorwork; four days later he was dead. Four years later I still miss him (if only he could have helped me get used to Cathe's PS series) and as with many special people I've lost I just try to carry the good memories with me between the pangs of longing that still hit.

My dogs hang out with me when I work out--it's as if they know all's well when I'm bouncing around in front of the talking box. My ninety pound bloodhound cross parked himself so near the step the last time I did Step Works that I had to manoever around him on the straddle moves--and it was a little hard to make it all the way around dog and step in just eight counts. Cathe, can you please do a "with dog next to the step" tape?

My mom can't have a dog now, either, but when she comes to visit (sometimes I think she comes for the dogs more than the grandchild) she has five contenders for lap time, sloppy nuzzles, and vigorous butt-rubs. Maybe you have friends whose dogs you could visit. Dogs know when someone needs love because everyone always needs love and dogs always have plenty to give.

For you it's getting out the tree, for me it's doing that Firm tape--but I still do it a lot because even though it's painful, I never want to forget Nelson. Four months is a very short time after ten years and it may be a lot longer before you're emotionally ready for another dog. When the time is right, you'll know. And some dog will be very lucky to find you. Meanwhile, we'll be thinking of you.

--Ann (plus Baruch, Brutus, Alexander, Trillium, and Penny)

 

[Michele S]

It's funny to see this post on here since I am going through a very emotional time with my 11-year-old Rottie. She's been having some major arthritis problems since Wednesday when we got our first snow and first real cold weather. All of a sudden she just couldn't move. She went out Wednesday morning, and stiffened up like a board and hasn't been able to get back up the steps into the house since. She's been staying in our garage, and we put in a heat lamp and a space heater and I just told my husband that I want to get her a heated bed!

I've had Casey since she was 7-weeks old and she was/is my first baby. I love this dog soooo much and the thought of her getting old is just killing me. Her vet put her on medication and I've started Glucosamine/Chondroitin supplements and I'm praying that this will get her back on track, at least a little. She seems to be doing better, but then at times she'll give the death bed look and it breaks my heart.

I think the relationship with animals is so unbelievable. At times I can rationalize and tell myself that she's just a dog. But then when I think about her not being her, or having to put her down I just start to cry uncontrollably!

This may sound really crazy, but there are two deaths that I knew would occur in my life that would be horrible to go through...the first was my grandmother who passed away in 8/99. The second is my dog!

Michele

 

[murph]

Animal lovers--horses!!

I have 2 horses--"my living fur coats!!" Dogs, cats or horses---we ARE attached to them and they to us on visceral levels. I would expect a loss to effect you deeply

 

[kristina]

Thanks for the support!

I sincerely appreciate all the sharing you have given to me. I know that pets are so important on different levels to people. Some folks just love them as pets, and for others, it goes deeper to true soul mates and part of the blood relations.
My puppy looked and acted like a puppy until he died. He was a gold and white shih tzu and he was also a good part cat in spirit. We called him a "dat."
He was severly abused the first year of his life and it took me 5 years to get him to trust the world again. It was a joy to see him lose his fear of people and enjoy being a dog. He helped me through a painful divorce and he was just so THERE, despite his naughty moments.
The hardest part was that when I got divorced, I was in school and working full time AND going to the gym. So he was alone from 6 am until 12 midnight, and I had no time for him. I came home every night and found him hiding behind our couch just waiting for me. SOOO, 6 months before he died, I adopted him out to my best friends with a new baby. They were working opposite shifts so he was home every day with his humans. I saw him 3-4 days a week. They took him camping, hiking, and to pet day events. He was so very happy, and loved. But when he stroked out, I wasn't there. He hung on for a few weeks, because Stew was home at the time. The vet said in normal circumstances, he would have just died if he was alone. But Stew held him and cried and hugged him and talked to him, and the little bugger came back.
I had told my friends I really wanted to be there if he had to be put down, but when it actually happened, it was so quick that my friend decided it would be cruel to the dog to make him wait for me since he was in so much pain.
Well, my friend was waiting to tell me until she could tell me in person. A week had gone by, and her husband thought I knew. He mentioned the day to my boyfriend, who also thought I knew. I found out by an off-hand remark a week later. I guess I just didn't let myself go beserk, because I buried the pain and the guilt and just figured, well, he was after all a dog.
So anyway, that's my story. It was very helpful to hear your stories and feel that my grief is not abnormal and that even after all this time it is ok to feel so sad about it.
Thanks again.