Tips for working under adversarial conditions

[Tammyspq]

Hey all! Just wanted to know if anyone out there has had the unfortunate experience of working in a negative, hostile and adversarial work environment while pregnant. 'Tis my situation and I'm 33 weeks trying to survive until I go into labor. I do not plan on returning to this particular job post-partum but need to keep the job so I can get paid for about 8 1/2 weeks post-partum.

DH is still looking for more substantial employment that will have benefits so I need to keep mine.


Just wanted to know what some of you have done to keep yourselves going.

Thanks! jeni

 

[candori]

Deep breathing

Walking at lunch and refusing to let it get to you. Often, if I'm in a stressful meeting, I take a moment to relax my body and think about my baby (who is now 6 months). I don't space out too long, but just enough to put things into perspective. Soon you will have so much to be happy about, this will seem like a distant memory.

Good luck and try to relax.

 

[Tammyspq]

RE: Deep breathing

Thank you Candori! I keep focusing at the light at the end of the tunnel (I'm 33 1/2 weeks) and that does tend to put one's priorities in perspective.

 

[Suzi4x]

I know absolutely how you feel. My story: I got my dream job in 97 with a nationally reknowned institution. My job was prestigious, I made a good salary and great benefits. It also gave me an opportunity to actually live in the same location with my husband (we had a long distance relationship and marriage, with small son). I worked very hard (stress, long hours, commute) and thought I did a good job even though I think it takes really a couple of years for a person to really feel comfortable with a new position. Well, my happiness was short lived, I went from being the model to a problem employee almost immediately after I told him I was pregnant. If I made a mistake (which I would always admit to), I was berated publically, if finished a project, he acted like I didn't complete it to his liking, and it went on and on. He gave me assignments and had me attend meetings (for him) but wasn't part of the scope of my job and then got angry because I stayed late to finish my work. I then decided to see the Ombudsman (counsellor) because my stress level was so high, the smallest things made me panic and my confidence level was an all time low. I finally decided to contest my poor performance evaluation but I often wonder if I should have handled anything differently. I went back to the job after my maternity leave but left shortly afterwards. First, I would have been proactive, as soon as I discovered that my boss had issues with me, I should have confronted them straight away and documented such meetings. When he was vague with assignments, I should have asked him for written and detailed explanation on what he wanted. Secondly, I should have seen the employee assistance much sooner so that I had at the very least, someone I could vent to and get immediate counselling by. It is a terrible burden to be so unhappy and feel that there are no other alternatives. Finally, be good to yourself and small ways, take time out to relax and move (dance or exercise or even cuddle with your DH). Remember, it will be over soon and you can get through this. Be Well.