Need advice...child sleeping problems!

R

robin4health

Cathlete
I'm hoping someone will have some tips/advice for me. My almost 6 month daughter has been getting into a horrible routine and I just can't break it. For the past 1 1/2 weeks now, she has been getting up every 1 1/2-2 hours. ALL NIGHT LONG!!! I am completely exhausted. I don't know how many more nights I can take this. And, what is worse, is she wants to eat (or suck..I am nursing her) herself back to sleep EVERY TIME or she screams bloody murder. She will go on for 30 - an hour of just screaming because that is her comfort. I can end it in a second and she will go right back to sleep in 5 minutes, so of course I am so tired that I just put her on and she goes back to sleep and off to bed I go again.

I know she is not hungry. She is doing it for comfort and just to fall back to sleep. Although I don't know why she won't sleep for more than roughly an hour. I know she is teething, because she is drooling like crazy and chewing on everything. Nothing has popped through yet.

She is only sleeping about 3 hours in the daytime, so I don't think she is getting too much sleep during the day. I have a feeling that someone is going to say, just let her cry it out. Which I can do, but it will take some re-arranging. She shares a room with my 3 year old, so I think my oldest may need to move in with us for a few nights, so when I do let her cry it out, my oldest isn't up too.

Anyway, sorry that got so long, but please someone give me some tips. I'll take any ideas!

THANK YOU!!!!!!

from a very tired mama...
 
We used the pick-up/put down method used in the Baby Whisperer books. There is also a website babywhisperer.com. It worked wonderfully for us.

Good luck - I know how frustrating it is to have a baby who can't put herself back to sleep. I'm not a believer in the cry it out method, so I definitely won't recommend that.

Erica
 
Robin,
I feel for you! How tough sleeping issues can be. If it were me, I'd just nurse her and let her fall back to sleep, even if she will only go back to sleep for an hour. That way, you will get more sleep if you are only up with her for 5-10 minutes, rather than listening to her scream for an hour! It sounds like a phase that she will grow out of in no time at all (although right now I'm sure it seems like it's been going on forever)! Good luck.
Linda
 
Thanks Erica. I will check out the website.

I went to my online local library and found it there, so I put it on reserve.

Can you give me any more details about the pick-up/put down method?? What exactly is that, I have never heard of that before?

Thanks!
 
Thanks Linda. You are right, it probably is just a phase, but it just seems to be getting worse, not better, and I feel like I am contribututing to it getting worse because I just nurse her back to sleep every time. I could handle 2-3 wakings in a night, but lately it has been 6 even 7, and that is just torture for me.

I don't like to let her cry, especially since she is such a good baby and rarely cries. She really only cries when I don't pick her up right away or when she is tired.

Anyway, thank you for your response, I appreciate it!
 
It's been a while since I used this method (my youngest is 5), but here's what I remember. When the baby cries, you pick her up and console her until she settles down and then you place her back in her crib. When she cries again, you pick her up and soothe her again (not nursing unless you're certain hunger is an issue), and then put her down again before she is asleep. You may have to do this many, many times in the beginning but the idea is that the baby will realize that you are there for them and will eventually stop crying for you because she is secure in knowing that she hasn't been abandoned and you will come when she needs you. It worked very well for us and I just felt it was so much more compassionate than just letting a baby cry it out. Especially when they are teething or sick and can't tell you that they are uncomfortable.

Hope this helps.

Erica
 
Thanks Erica. That helps. It does make sense to me. I have not been a good one for letting them cry it out for the very reason you said above. I don't think they get that mom is still there and is just letting them cry. I will give it a try tonight if we have the same kind of night we have had lately. I'll let you know how it goes. I am not expecting a miracle here, and I know it will take some time for her to get what is going on, but that is good advice. Thank you!
 
It is hard when us mothers and our kids are sleep deprived. I agree with the advice posted above and am a strong advocate for letting a child cry it out. Everytime you nurse her for comfort, she is being conditioned-cry-cry louder-then get nursed. Everyone I know that finally let the child cry it out, soon after got a child sleeping longer periods of time. For teething, I have given my girls tylenol and/or oragel.
 
Everyone I know that let their baby cry it out also ended up with a baby that slept longer, but that doesn't mean that it was the right thing to do. I'm not judging, just simply pointing out that just because a method is effective doesn't mean that it's the right thing to do. That applies to many parenting issues.

Erica
 
Erica-you are right, Robin do what works for you. We can tell you what worked for us but you know yourself and your baby the best. Hope you are getting some more sleep no matter what worked for you!
 
Does she have an ear infection? When DD was waking up like that, I took her to the doctor and it was an ear infection. Suckling or taking a bottle supposedly makes it feel better, according to her Dr.

She popped an ear infection when her first 3 molars came.....never had one before that though.
 
Thanks ladies! I appreciate all the words of wisdome here. I do agree, I know I need to do what I feel I can do and what my baby can handle. I'm pretty sure she does not have an ear infection, but I guess I don't know for sure. She has not been pulling on her ears or anything, but that isn't always the tell-all. I had not thought of that, thank you.

Well, I haven't wrote because since Friday, we have been doing "Maddie Boot Camp" (as I call it). I moved my 3 year old into my room to sleep in my bed with daddy. I have been sleeping in her room for the past 3 days. I knew there was going to be some crying, so that is why I moved my oldest out for awhile.

I decided to do a mix of all things. I have adopted a routine for her, which I have never had. We go into her room, turn down the lights, sing the same lullaby before every nap and bedtime, then I lay her down in her crib and tuck her in. And she is starting to get the routine already! The first night, since she has never put herself to sleep in her crib (I have always nursed her to sleep), everytime she started getting really upset (I let her fuss a bit first), I just picked her up, hugged her and told her it is bed time and lay her back down. She wound up going to sleep with my arm next to her head and my hand on her tummy. She was still up every 1 to 1 1/2 hours the entire night, BUT I DID NOT NURSE HER BACK TO SLEEP! Huge step for the first night. I just fed her twice through the night.

The second night was a bit better, where she only needed my hand on her a couple of times. Me being by her bedside so she could see me was enough and very little crying. Still up every 2 hours or so, but still an improvement with her putting herself back to sleep.

Last night, I didn't even have to be by the crib. If she just woke up, I let her fuss a bit, to see if she would put herself back down, which she didn't, but all I had to do was say I was here and kiss her and she would go back down. So, still an improvement. She was still up every 2 hours again, but we are making progress here.

I feel good about not letting her cry it out by herself. I am essentially having her cry it out, but I am there with her. I'm not leaving her alone in her crib. Now, I may have to move to letting her cry it out more, but we are moving in the right direction.

Hopefully only a couple more nights of this and I can be in my own bed again! Then we go visit family for Thanksgiving and I'll probably have to do it all over again! LOL :)

Thanks again everyone for your advice/tips!
 
Robin - I'm so glad that you found something that works for you!!:) :) :)

Wishing you and your family lots of sleep-filled nights!

Erica
 
This is probably NOT a phase in my experience. I am still nursing my 2nd child to sleep 6-7 times a night. And she is 2 1/2! My first weaned of this night time nursing when I was pregnant and I believe my milk was less plentiful or not as tasty.I haven't had a decent night sleep in 5 years. I am just too tired to let her scream and cry for a few nights. It is a vicious circle. Deal with this problem now rather than later.
 
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