What Is Wrong with Me?

Jaffas

Jaffas

Cathlete
It's only been a week since Squirt passed away so suddenly so I know it's normal for me to still be very upset, that's not the problem. But almost immediately after we lost her I started going on line looking at cats up for adoption. I've been to three shelters already. I don't want to adopt another cat. DH and I are planning a major change in lifestyle within the next few years. If possible we might even move back to Europe. I know Squirt is irreplaceable and it didn't even cross my mind to look at other cats when Slinky died. So why am I cruising the internet for black female cats? I even feel a little guilty. Has anyone else experienced this after losing a pet?
 
{{{{{Gabrielle}}}}} Yes, I have experienced the same thing. Back in 2005, DH and I lost both of our dogs within 2 weeks of each other. We were absolutely devastated. The day after our 2nd dog died, I started filling out applications for Boxer rescues, not because we felt either Chelsea or Gunther could ever be replaced, but because it was very clear to DH and I that we were dog people and really needed that presence in our lives.

This might sound strange, but we both had a hard time with the healing process until we adopted Rascal. It wasn't so much case of moving on, but more of a case of coping...if that makes sense.

You shouldn't feel guilty. You're a great cat-mom and giving another homeless cat a wonderful life would be a fitting tribute to Squirt.

{{{{{more hugs}}}}} I'm tearing up here myself.
 
I'm so sorry about your pet :( I know how hard it is to lose a part of the family and yes, i've experienced the "i don't knwo what to do with myself" feeling that comes after. You probably just need to give yourself a little bit of time before you make a decision about adopting another pet. Of course adopting is a wonderful idea if you do want to get another because there are so many pets that need good homes, but at least the guilt will go away if you wait a little while first. Don't think of it as a replacement...you have alot of love for Squirt and i'm sure she wouldn't mind if you shared it with another.
 
Aw, you poor thing. I think you're just missing your girl. I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to hold on to your memories.
 
I did the same thing when my dog of 14yrs passed. I started looking on petfinder daily and then I saw a picture of a dog that kind of looked like my last dog. I drove an hour to go get him. Then when I had him I cried because he was not my last dog. I did not bond with him well. I was looking to fill the hole in my heart. There will never be another dog like my last one.

It's how you are mourning.
 
Gabrielle, nothing is wrong with you. I did the EXACT same thing when we lost our dog, Gracie, this year. We lost our other sweet girl, Gilda, just seven months before that.

I went on Craig's List and searched (frantically, I might add) for another dog. Thankfully, I was able to wait it out for a few weeks, but then we found Wilma, who was in need of a home, and we needed a canine in ours. DH and I have been together for 22 years, and for 21 of those years we always had at least one dog. DH kept saying that he was having a really hard time in the mornings without a dog telling him what he was supposed to be doing!

I will tell you, though, that I felt some guilt getting Wilma so quickly after we lost Gracie, and, sometimes, her presence made me miss and grieve for my other girls more. BUT, the routine of having a dog to walk, feed, care for, etc. was extremely helpful. And, now we love the goofy mutt very much. Has she replaced our other girls? NO WAY, and not a day goes by that I don't think of them, and my heart breaks a little.

I KNOW you are a great "mom" and there is another cat out there who needs you and can't wait to join your family. I hope you find each other soon.
 
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What everyone else said!! There is nothing wrong with you. When Spyro died, the house just felt empty. No nom nom nom noise when I was trying to hear the TV, no thump thump thump of the tail when I got home, more space in the bed, nothing to trip over in the middle of the night. We waited a month before we got Vlad. I couldn't stand not having a dog in the house. I now love Vlad just as much as Spyro, but Spyro will always have a special place in my heart.

Nan
 
Don't feel guilty.
Look at it this way: you aren't looking to replace Squirt. You now just have space available to give another animal in need a loving forever home. (though I personally wouldn't adopt a cat who looked too similar to one who just passed away).
 
Thanks everyone. I feel a little better about looking at other cats now. I think I will wait before getting another kitty. We still have Jaffa and Puddle to take care of. If a cat finds me I'll keep it. In a certain way that's what happened with Squirt. As a foster cat she made it very clear to me that this was her home.

Tete - when Slinky died DH said the exact same thing about being lost without the little guy around to tell him what to do. Slinky would get on his case the second DH stirred and not stop until his bowl was full.

I really want to volunteer at the Humane Society but every time I go to their website to sign up the orientation classes are full.
 
It's all been said! I, too, cannot live without the presence of a or two or many four-legged children in my home! One month after we lost our Kierin at only 2 years of age, I got my little Peanut! We still talk about Kierin and how wonderful she was, but I can't go without the pitter patter of little claws all over my house!
 
We got a new kitty about 6 months after our beloved John The Cat died from heat exhaustion (the terrible heat storm in 2006 was in the 130 degrees F. I'm not kidding it was killing people out here.) I think that its ok to look for a kitty. Its just a part of who you are it doesn't mean that you loved Squirt any less ok? Hugs!
 
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