Struggling.

M

MCunningham

Cathlete
Okay, so, I have been gaining and losing the same 40lbs for the last 2 years. It takes me so long to lose it, and only a month or 2 to gain it back, which is of course disheartening-- not to mention disturbing! How does it take me 8 months to lose the weight but only 3 to gain it all back?!?!

Anyway, I'm trying to make an earnest effort to lose again. I just turned 29 and I'm sick to death of being overweight. I actually need to lose about 70lbs total that I gained after I got married. It's depressing to look at old pictures when I was a size 8 and see what I look like now.

I know what I have to do, food-wise, to lose weight, the problem is just applying it, right? I am going back to Weight Watchers again starting next Saturday.

My main problem is this: I think I'm not really cut out to be a home exerciser. I love Cathe a LOT, but somehow that just doesn't motivate me to get up and get working out in the morning (I have to do it in the morning now that I'm back at school in the evenings). I find myself really missing the energy and bright lights and excitement of a group class at a gym. (I have been a member of several gyms and I LOOOVED going to classes.) Even when I'm doing a workout of Cathe's that I like, I just feel like there's something missing. It's just not as fun as being in a class for me. I'm starting to think that there are maybe just some people who are better suited to group classes, and some that prefer to work out alone. Anyone out there know what I'm talking about? Obviously probably the majority on here prefer home workouts, but can anyone relate to what I'm saying?

The main problem is that my long-suffering husband has patiently and generously let me outfit myself with a several-thousand-dollar killer home gym, with a treadmill, spin bike, weights, medicine balls, steps, Cathe tapes... you name it. I feel terrible, but I just don't feel the same way about my (very wonderful) little home gym as I did about my old gym memberships. My wonderful equipment is kind of gathering dust, and I'm just longing for a group class again.

I am struggling with the decision... do I try to join a gym again, but have to explain to my husband that I really miss the energy and fun of a group class? Do I just try to get motivated to work out in my own space? Ever since I stopped going to a regular gym (about 4 years ago), I can't seem to get motivated to work out-- almost not at all. It's frustrating because I used to LOVE working out. I'm wondering if I just need to get back to group classes to get motivated, or should I just suck it up and try to re-motivate myself in my basement?

Any words of advice/wisdom would be greatly appreciated!

MC
 
What about a mix of both home fitness and the gym? That's what I do. I primarily work out at home. I only joined the gym to gain access to the treadmills since I do not have any room for one in my home. If the membership is affordable, why not do both? You can take a couple of your fave classes while balancing out your routine at home with whatever else is needed.
 
I agree with you! Some people are better in groups. Their motivation comes from knowing there is a set time for a particular class they enjoy or want to try. Some people need the very structured setting of a gym to get going! I used to be that way myself! Then, I got tired of the gyms canceling my favorite classes, filling their schedule with 90% spinning (which I hate) and 1 step class that started while I was still at work, the waiting for equipment in the weight room or having to bypass a particular exercise because someone was hogging it for half an hour and I got fed up!

So, now I'm at home working out and loving every minute! I wish I had your setup! I wish I had room for it! As it is, I make do with what I have and what room I have and I wouldn't have it any other way. It was hard to make the change, but I do like working out at my pace, on my schedule and doing the types of workouts I enjoy without having to depend on whether I'm the only one in class or not!
 
Just tell your husband exactly what you have written here. Thank him for your home gym and tell him your conundrum and that there is nothing more important than your health. If a class type environment is what you need then go for it. And if your husband supports you then think how hard you are going to work to make sure you get to the gym and make a lifestyle change.
 
Not trying to get into your brain or anything ;) but I think the other thing going on is that you aren't letting yourself beleive that you are a thin fit person after you've lost the weight.

It makes a huge difference how you see yourself....are you an overweight person constantly telling themselves they must be on a diet, or are you a fit healthy person that treats themselves nice and eats for pleasure?

I've lost 10 pounds, a couple more to go, and I did it through exercise and eating well, but now I am feeling like I USED to inside, I consider myself a fit person now, not a chubby person that has to constantly watch themselves and keep themselves in check with food. It's a mind-set thing....
 
Can I join YOUR (home) gym??? It sounds like heaven!! :eek::D;) I'm *so* jealous! I wish I had room in my house for a set up like yours. Wow!

I agree with Fitmommy-maybe you can combine both home and gym. I do that. I have a favorite step class at the gym and I use their treadmills and ellipticals. I do my all of my weight work at home and some step. Sometimes I'm choose to workout at home more and sometimes the gym. Depends on my mood. Right now, I like home.

HTH!
 
Have you tried working out with your husband? My husband and I started with P90X, his choice. It turned out to be a blast. We were each others cheerleaders and conscience. When one didn't want to workout the other made sure we got to the "'gym" and pressed play. We are on our last week of STS and my husband found it more challenging and more fun than P90X. He is looking forward to STS cardio.
 
Have you considered selling some of your exercise equipment and workouts and using the money towards group exercise classes? Everyone varies in what motivates them at different times. I've sold dozens of workouts I was sure I would love, including some Cathe ones. Maybe I didn't get 100% of my money back, but keeping them and not using them was a total loss. I sold mine on Amazon, but lots of people use Ebay or Craigslist.

That's great you're starting WW, as the diet/nutrition component is the most important part of the weight loss equation. It seems like you might be changing your eating habits drastically once you meet your goal weight which is why you're regaining it more quickly. Like Govt Girl posted, you need to look at the mental aspect of how you see yourself. Are you "on a diet" or "eating healthfully"? One is temporary and one is for life.

Good luck!
 
Ask yourself if this is maybe the case - I convince myself that if I just had the newest exercise equipment, the latest exercise DVD, the latest gadget then that is what will make me lose weight. It's an excuse for my failure to workout.
 
Thank you for all of your responses!

Yes, I am sooo fortunate that I have this great workout space right here in my own basement, which is why I feel so guilty for still not being able to muster the motivation to use it. My husband has been SOOO patient with my attempts to "outfit" it enough to where I'd want to use it all the time... I just feel awful that, for whatever reason, it still doesn't feel "good enough".

With regard to working out with my husband... I already tried that. He HATES working out in any form except playing soccer, which I hate to do. He hates gyms, running, or anything else that seems like a workout, so that's a no-go.

With regard to my eating habits... that is the other component I'm battling. I KNOW so well exactly what I need to do. I literally have read dozens of magazines and books and websites about nutrition and weight loss, so I know exactly what I have to do. In the past, I've displayed a pattern of being so successful for 5-7 months, and then-- I don't know, maybe I get complacent? lazy? both?-- something happens and I'm right back on the gaining track again. It's very frustrating. I just can't seem to keep it together, and, quite frankly, the idea of counting calories and spending hours every week chopping and measuring and weighing fruits and vegetables and lean protein and all of that FOREVER just kills me. I can't stand the idea of doing that for the rest of my life, but so far, that's the only thing that works. I think after about 7 months, I just get tired of the time commitment of planning meals, going grocery shopping, spending hundreds of dollars to eat healthy (because, as we all know, the healthy stuff is expensive and the junk is dirt cheap), measuring all my food, recording every detail in my food journal... it becomes something I start resent doing. I'm really at a loss as to how to handle that.

Anyway... I sincerely appreciate all your responses. I'm still not sure what my course of action will be in the end. I haven't made up my mind to rejoin a gym because the one I really like is $80 a month (!!!) and I just don't know if it's a sensible thing to do yet. My preference would just be to get motivated to work out here, but I just don't know what else I can do. I've done check-ins on the forums here, I've gone to WW, I've made weekly rotations to follow, I've tried just doing whatever workout I feel like doing instead of planning rotations, I've tried adding new workouts to spice things up... I just don't know what else to do. I'm feeling very lost and hopeless right now.
 
Well we are all different and need to do what works best for us. Perhaps if you join a gym and get something going well it will motivate you to taper off and slowly start using your own home gym. If going to a gym is what gets you motivated just the same way WW keeps your eating on track then do it.

And maybe if you have some energy then use your home gym on the weekends for some extra cardio to get the calorie burn up there and drop a few pounds even faster. I love just hitting my TM and watching a favorite TV show or turning on the iPod and running to Coach Sean with a Cardio Coach workout.

Play around and try to find what will work for you in the here and now - take it a day at a time and switch things up if you are feeling bored or like you are in a rut.

And please either check in or keep posting for some extra support that you know you can find here. Such a wealth of knowledge, experiences and ideas are right at your fingertips ! ;)

Hope you can find something to get you started and then keep on going from there.
 
I agree with trying to use both. My husband also was sweet enough to convert our third car garage into a home gym for me. I enjoy working out at home, but I also sometimes missed a gym setting. I am lucky because the company I work for has a gym on premises for a very low price, but I have to say that I enjoy using both a home gym and the gym at my office. It really opens up a lot of options. When I worked out soley at home I longed for a gym. Before my husband converted our garage into a home gym and I just had a gym membership I longed for my Cathe workouts. It kind of goes along with wanting what you don't have. I feel now that I have the best of both worlds. I'm not sure what area you live in, but a lot of times you can find a smaller neighborhood gym that offers decent group classes and are reasonably priced.

Katie
 
Do you have any friends who might like to work out with you in your home gym? Maybe you could set up specific nights to work out with a friend or two and that way u are committed to each other to workout. Just a thought and since so many of the ladies posted there jealousy over your wonderful home gym, I suspect that you have some friends who might be willing to help you utilize your gym.

All the best,

Michele
 
Would inviting one or two buddies over to exercise with you help it feel more like a class?

I can sympathize with your preference for a class. Sometimes I feel like getting outside the house just helps mentally to get into "exercise mode". There is a yoga studio I went to for years, and loved it. Since I stopped I have purchased a number of books, DVD's and CD's... some are definitely better than others, but ultimately, nothing beats those classes.
 
could it be

that you feel like "whats the point when working out is so hard and it takes so much dedication that even weighing another carrot seems like too much?"

I know how you feel in terms of the food. I'm 31. And, I have battled my weight all of my life. And, I'm exhausted. When I was finally ready to not be obese anymore it took me years to figure out how to get my body to lose weight. And, then it was like you, where I have to weigh everything and I don't really get to eat like a normal person. I have to do some exercise just so that I can even metabolize some carbohydrate (1/2 cup of steel cut oats takes a workout!) So, now I'm fighting a plateau and have even gained 5 pounds back but you know what? I'm not giving up. If you need a helping hand from a Cathlete just post a thread, we are always here.

Its so weird, because I literally just posted a blog on this subject. I know I recommend these two podcasts all the time but I find inspiration in them both: 1. Inside Out Weight Loss with Renee Stephens 2. The Reasonable Diet Podcast with Sandra Ahten. Also, sometimes reading about someone that has it harder than I do helps me. I read Sara Lee's biography and instantly felt a lot better about my childhood. My mother never tried to choke me to death. Sure, there was some abuse when I was little and it has been hard to convince them of what really happened, but my mother loves me. I don't know if you would find strength or inspiration in biographies.

Ok, to really answer your question. I like the suggestions that others have posted about mixing the two together or selling some of the equipment. I think you might have the best outcome by taking a class at the Y and still using your home gear because you wouldn't have the large fee of joining a gym and you would still get to use your equipment. Also, do you have a good check-in? That can help too. Hugs!!!!
 
We have a No Diet - Diet check in you might want to think about joining. It's a group of us that have gotten tired of obssessing over our food, journaling and calorie counting. We're trying to just post our meals to each other and keep each other motivated to continue to eat healthy, not binge, and enjoy our food more! Even if you're on WW, it could help your motivation to continue on a healthy eating track.

Also, in response to your comment about doing well for 5-7 months, then going backwards, maybe setting a goal right before that critical time will help keep you motivated to continue your workout routine and your eating habits. My goal right now since I lost my weight (I'm only 1 lb. from goal) is to start concentrating on reducing my bodyfat. That, and to keep my weight at goal for one year.

I think goals are important to keep me on track and keep me from going back to where I was. I never want to be there again, especially at my age! I don't think I could go through this again! i'll be 48 in October.

Good luck. I'm sure your husband will understand if you tell him just like you did here.
 
I don't think selling your equipment is the solution, before I start working out my husband had a lot of weights i got rid of them and now here I'm buying more.
What i would do is doing both, gym and home. You are right some people like groups, I don't mind I can do both but I love the comfort zone of my house, besides I hate people at the gym when they only go to chat.

About food what it really help me is watching you "are what you eat". Seen how food can be poison, see how other people who don't watch what they put in their mouth, and looking at their body, that is disturbing :confused: I can't afford a personal nutritionist but watching this help me a lot..

Just an opinion.
 
What I tell my clients is this: when it comes to working out, do what you ENJOY doing. It's so critical that you find something that makes you active that you ENJOY. If you do not enjoy working out at home, then don't. Sell all your stuff on craigslist (it's super easy) and use the money to pay for a years membership at gym or pay for group classes. Even if you find a new DVD or new piece of equipment or even a buddy (which aren't always reliable for the long term) to workout at home with, if you don't like workout out at home then you won't keep it up. You must do what motivates you and what you enjoy, and I can see by how you talk about the lights and the people and environment of the gym, that that motivates you and that you enjoy the gym. My husband is the same way. He says he can't workout at home because home is for resting and the gym is what motivates him to workout. For me, I can do both, but that may or may not be the case for you, because everyone is different. Exercise needs to be enjoyable and you need to have some sort of excitement out of it, or you are just going to become unmotivated again over and over. If it's not the gym, maybe it's finding adult dance classes, like adult ballet, or hip-hop dance, or Zumba. If it's not classes, maybe it's tennis or finding a basketball league. If it's not a league maybe it's hiking at a local park or moutainess area. If it's not the park, maybe it's purchasing a kayak and kayaking 3 times a week on a local river. Working out doesn't have to be at home, doesn't have to be a gym, and doesn't have to be boring. It can be anything that gets your heart rate up and works your muscles. So discover what it is you LOVE to do and then do what it takes to make it happen and motivate yourself. Life is too short not to, and you are young and vivacious with the world at your fingertips!:)
 
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