now this did tick me off..

[ldy_solana]

it starts off as a conversation at a scouting even that turned into a very hateful in a way comment. basically my scout leader thought it was UNFAIR of me to ask dh to do chores b/c he works two jobs! which dh was upset b/c he wanted to help more around the house b/c it hurt him that i did EVERYTHING!!

well the comment hurt my feelings b/c i think i deserve some help. i mean i do therapies,doctors,go work,clean house, homework,school meetings,and cook all while he is working. asking him to make the bed(since he is the last to leave),take out the trash and sweep/vacuum or do dishes(we have a dishwasher can be run once a week) on his day off. isn't really asking that much!

well last night she emails and ask if he could fix somebody's computer for them b/c they can't afford the service at gateway. WTF!!! he is to busy to help his FAMILY but not to busy to fix somebody's computer.this isn't the only favor that has been asked but this is the straw that broke the camel's back. he is taking on some more hours b/c holiday parties are going to be rampant at his second job(cash tips on top of his pay!!!) so he is doing that plus his weekend off from his first job is coming this weekend but my sister is coming down from NJ with her new baby then its holiday parties and more work for him. plus 2 family christmas dinners(trying to make it one but schedules are starting to conflict with my plans)

he said yes but called back and left a message that now is not the time but she emails back that she is going to tell the ppl its okay. so he called and emailed back leaving messages that NOT until AFTER christmas b/c he gets time off from his first job! then i feel its okay to do a little project without killing yourself and neglecting family. time is of very importance right now with this family. every moment should be spent together!

he doesn't get paid for anything and i am tired of this scout group making him the go-to b**ch when they can't get things done for themselves. its either moving, hauling stuff, fixing stuff. WTH!! there aren't many single parents in the group so what are daddies doing that they can't do this crap themselves.

thanks i just HAD TO VENT that out. have my therapy session this afternoon so i will be sure to let her know just how angry i am at these ppl for doing this. they always put us on the spot and we are very nice ppl and hate to say no b/c we want to help. on the other hand every time we help its like we are getting taken advantage of and just don't feel appreciated anymore.

kassia

 

[Peaceful Rainbow]

On the first part, I'd say it just sounds like she's jealous that your DH helps around the house.

As for the other, every volunteer organization I know has a few people that do the majority of the work. For whatever reasons they have, most people who are involved do the bare minimum they need to do. Some have time constraints, some just want to be involved without having to do much, and then there are those who just do whatever is asked of them. When a group has someone or a couple people who will take on whatever is thrown at them they are more than willing to overuse them. And they make it hard for those who never/rarely say no, to say no by trying to make them feel guilty. Hopefully, your husband will stand his ground with them and make it clear as to what he's available to do and stick with it. They don't have to like it and if they don't respect his needs then it's not a healthy environment to volunteer in.

 

[ldy_solana]

i agree she is totally jealous b/c her husband does NOTHING to help. HE is the scoutmaster but she takes care of everything for scouts and she is just barely a leader.

i am going to call her on it this afternoon. i don't mind him working on the puter b/c we both want to learn more about fixing them but its going to have to wait after the holidays and even though he said that specifically she just didn't seem to get it!!!

usually i don't mind doing the scout stuff b/c it benefits our child. we are a special needs troupe after all and every little bit helps,and its for the kids.my daughter and kids get to spend much time with each other and thats good for all special needs kids to have their outlet,so doing a little extra there i don't mind so much. its these personal favors that i don't find fair. this isn't scout related so it should be whenever its our convenience and he did go out of his way(not even 15 min later when he realized "crap we have company coming") to call and email almost frantically.

thanks so much for letting me vent though. i have to get things out or they just eat me up all day LOL. its part of that whole panic/anxiety disorder.

 

[ImFiddY]

I usually try to wait 24 hours before I blow out on something. I tend to have a hair trigger (especially with menopause!) so maybe if you wait another day to give it time then you will be able to formulate exactly what you want to say to her.

I totally agree that they are taking advantage of your generous and giving nature. You have every right to be angry. It sucks when you want to do go and then you give until it hurts and then you have to pull back because you feel taken advantage of.

vent away, it's good to get it out. Hope your husband is able to relax some after the holidays.