My MIL tells me to put on some pounds!
- Thread starter delfin
- Start date
It's SOOOOO rude when someone comments on how someone else looks. Depending in my mood at the time, if I'm feeling totally happy and secure, if I get unsolicited advice, I may smile and say "thanks - I'll have to think about that!" Or if I'm in a sort of medium-ish mood, I'll smile and say "Oh thanks, but I really like the way I look just the way I am!" or "Well, thanks, but I'm really happy this way. And you can't argue with happiness!!" A couple of times, if the people are not too nice to start with, or after people have kept up with nagging, I have said something like, "OK Julie I WILL stop dying my hair, just as soon as you stop BITING THOSE NAILS OF YOURS!" And one time I was really fed up, with a very bitchy person who kept telling me to wear skirts intead of pants, and I told her "Susan, you just worry about improving SUSAN's wardrobe. (Looked her up and down.) It seems like THAT would be a full-time job!" There were several other people around at the time and they chuckled and I felt vindicated and LO AND BEHOLD she stopped bugging me. I think sometimes people don't know how awful they sound and sometimes it's good to give them a taste of their own medicine...
It boggles the mind that people are so rude! I can't imagine looking at someone and launching into a commentary about their appearance (except DH of course, LOL.)
Sparrow
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
Sparrow
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
melodygirl
Cathlete
Ignore her.
My MIL keeps telling me to stop losing weight. I've tried to tell her that I haven't lost any weight since Feb, but she doesn't believe me. Sometimes people have a hard time fitting your new look into their image of you. It will take some time for her to get over it. Just smile and ignore her. Remember - it's your body.
"Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Satchel Paige
"Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Satchel Paige
exercise forever
Cathlete
Tell them to kiss your *ss!! I wish people wouldn't be so rude! They are jealous of you and wish they could look that way!
About two years ago when I lost over 60pds.,I lifted weights and became very lean and cut. All I heard was criticism and people telling me I should eat! Well as uneducated as they are they didn't know I every 21/2 to 3 hours a day. I really got upset to the point where I would break down and cry. But you really have to say "screw you!"
If you are happy with yourself,don't worry about people who are ignorant and jealous!
Sorry, but I get very hyper when this subject comes up!
kim
About two years ago when I lost over 60pds.,I lifted weights and became very lean and cut. All I heard was criticism and people telling me I should eat! Well as uneducated as they are they didn't know I every 21/2 to 3 hours a day. I really got upset to the point where I would break down and cry. But you really have to say "screw you!"
If you are happy with yourself,don't worry about people who are ignorant and jealous!
Sorry, but I get very hyper when this subject comes up!
kim
janiejoey
Cathlete
More than 50% of Americans are obese. That being said, perhaps people don't realize that being able to see your stomach muscles or veins in your arms is normal. It's most likely that ignorance is the cause of being so rude.
I do workouts and stay healthy for myself, and have accomplished something no one in my family ever has. Yet my family is very supportive. I'm very lucky in that way. In fact, I feel so confident, that I have a pierced belly button, and wear low ride jeans(that are sewen to stright legs) and tops that fit just below the low rides. Hey, why not? I might have grey hair, but my body is not out of shape.
The worst thing for me, would be wearing old granny clothes.x(
Janie
"If you can't say anything nice about someone, then don't say anything at all."
-My mother, Mary Cooper-
I do workouts and stay healthy for myself, and have accomplished something no one in my family ever has. Yet my family is very supportive. I'm very lucky in that way. In fact, I feel so confident, that I have a pierced belly button, and wear low ride jeans(that are sewen to stright legs) and tops that fit just below the low rides. Hey, why not? I might have grey hair, but my body is not out of shape.
The worst thing for me, would be wearing old granny clothes.x(
Janie
"If you can't say anything nice about someone, then don't say anything at all."
-My mother, Mary Cooper-
kathryn
Cathlete
>Two words for you...IGNORE and JEALOUS.
I don't think it's necessarily jealousy in this case (that rationalisation is brought up all too often, IMO). People just have different esthetic senses. People from previous generations are more apt to find a 'lean' upper body on a woman less than 'feminine.'
Our former secretary made an 'icky' face once, unintentionally, when someone commented on my shoulders, asking if I was wearing shoulder pads, and I said no....of course, her doughy, flabby body elicited the same feeling in me.
When I was 'skinny' in my early 20's, my dear, departed grandmother once was a bit upset I wasn't 'filling out' like the rest of the family. She said to me "You're not getting fat!" in a disappointed voice. Similar to her reaction when she heard I was a vegetarian, and didn't eat sugar (at the time). Was she upset about the vegetarian part? She didn't let on if she was. But she blurted out 'You don't eat SUGAR?" in a shocked voice.
Grandmas, you can take it from. All others can mind their own business (especially when they say you SHOULD, or HAVE TO do something).
I don't think it's necessarily jealousy in this case (that rationalisation is brought up all too often, IMO). People just have different esthetic senses. People from previous generations are more apt to find a 'lean' upper body on a woman less than 'feminine.'
Our former secretary made an 'icky' face once, unintentionally, when someone commented on my shoulders, asking if I was wearing shoulder pads, and I said no....of course, her doughy, flabby body elicited the same feeling in me.
When I was 'skinny' in my early 20's, my dear, departed grandmother once was a bit upset I wasn't 'filling out' like the rest of the family. She said to me "You're not getting fat!" in a disappointed voice. Similar to her reaction when she heard I was a vegetarian, and didn't eat sugar (at the time). Was she upset about the vegetarian part? She didn't let on if she was. But she blurted out 'You don't eat SUGAR?" in a shocked voice.
Grandmas, you can take it from. All others can mind their own business (especially when they say you SHOULD, or HAVE TO do something).
I think people are afraid of change. And, if you change your shape, somehow deep down it makes them feel insecure. I would just blow it off as their problem and not yours. As long as you feel good about yourself, let it go. Once they get accustomed to the new you, they will shut up.
Imafitnessfreak
Cathlete
I think it is a combination of what many women have mentioned...we do live in an obese society so our vision is a bit impaired. When the majority of the people you see are obese or just overweight, someone very fit and healthy may appear **too thin** (in their minds). Also, MIL's are of a different generation where softer was **in**.
My vision may be impaired. I was watching this unsolved mystery type show last night about Marolyn Monroe and of course, tons of her pictures and movie clips. I cannot believe she was ever considered "soft" or whatever they considered her to be.
Anyway, when it comes to comments from different generations, take that fact into consideration. If it comes from someone your deneration, I say "open season and fair game". Tell them how you think they should change their body! (((While gesturing mid section)))"You could really stand to thin out through the middle". Ahhh...wouldn't it be nice!
My vision may be impaired. I was watching this unsolved mystery type show last night about Marolyn Monroe and of course, tons of her pictures and movie clips. I cannot believe she was ever considered "soft" or whatever they considered her to be.
Anyway, when it comes to comments from different generations, take that fact into consideration. If it comes from someone your deneration, I say "open season and fair game". Tell them how you think they should change their body! (((While gesturing mid section)))"You could really stand to thin out through the middle". Ahhh...wouldn't it be nice!