How do I tell my niece there IS such a thing as being t...

Rose11

Cathlete
...too skinny?

My niece is 14 years old and she's overweight (I'm guessing about 30-40 lbs overweight. I think her pant size is about 18). Every time she visits me she sees the way I eat and sometimes she has seen me working out, but lately I've been focusing on losing weight on my hip area and I discovered that I had to increase the amount of cardio I do every week to do that. I even started the "Montly Results Check-in" here (which some of you have joined) for inspiration. She was visiting today and she told me omg you're losing your hips and butt, are you trying to look like Lindsay Lohan? And I said gosh no. There is such a thing as being too skinny sweetie. So she was checking her emails on my computer and called me to see this http://movies.msn.com/movies/ShrinkRap?GT1=6542&photoidx=1 and she said omg I would never be that skinny. And I said you don't want to be that skinny. She said easy for you to say you're always dieting and exercising. (Here I am typing and thinking and rolling my eyes). I told her there is a happy medium, that there is a healthy looking body between those before and afters and that those Hollywood ladies are overdoing it. My SO says that those women get that skinny because of other women, that most men don't like their women that skinny (I hope that's true haha). I also told her about that. I don't know what to say anymore. She needs to lose weight and I have offered my help, but she wants to lose all the weight in a couple of months and that is not possible if she does it the healthy way. I don't want her to think she has to go on crash diets, become an exercise bullimic, or worse get an eating disorder in order to lose weight. I need your help ladies!
 
I applaud you on saying what you did!! You are a true role model for your niece! Being healthy is much more important than being skinny and those actresses on that website are way too skinny. I hope she realizes you are the voice of reason. Ultimately she has to make the decision on her own, but hopefully she will ask you for guidance along the way.
 
It's very difficult to reason with a 14 year old. She probably won't listen to you because she's got it in her head that you have to work hard to lose weight, and I'm sure she's heard her friends say there are "easier" ways of doing it. Perhaps you could ask her to speak to her pediatrician, who could refer her to a nutritionist who specializes in young adults/teenagers. They in turn could set her up in a diet/exercise program. She may be more receptive to an outsiders opinion.
 
I told her there is a happy
>medium, that there is a healthy looking body between those
>before and afters and that those Hollywood ladies are
>overdoing it. My SO says that those women get that skinny
>because of other women, that most men don't like their women
>that skinny (I hope that's true haha).

I know what you mean about the Hollywood stars overdoing. I always thought Lindsay Lohan looked great, and would be a good role model for young girls who want to look healthy, and not super skinny. Then she starts looking like she hasn't eaten anything solid for a month. It's a damn shame! Adolescent girls need healthy role models. Seems like YOU'RE a better role model than the actresses she wants to emulate.
 
Lindsey looks positively ill in that photo. She was so cute before!

Yes, it is hard to reason with a 14 year old. Maybe you can tell her, she can be her goal weight when she turns 15 (if it is a realistic time frame), or she can still be overweight. Or you can be slim by Christmas, or you can still be shopping in the plus sizes. Maybe that will give her a more realistic approach, something she can envision.

Lori
 
Lindsey Lohan looks awful now! I thought she had a great body before! What's the deal with being so thin now!?!
 
Well, I think your advice to her was excellent. It's so hard for teenage girls (and Hollywood actresses) these days. I'm hoping my daughter doesn't fall prey to that when she's older. I'm starting her out right (I hope). When she asks why I exercise so much, I tell her that I do it to be healthy. I never say it's to keep my weight down. I tell her that I don't want to be a feeble old lady and that I have to exercise almost everyday so I can be strong enough to play with her.

Those women look awful. Every single one of them looked better in their before pictures. Especially Lindsay Lohan and Renee Zellwegger. And it's really scary that pictures supposedly add 10 pounds!
 
Wow! What did happen to all of those ladies?! They all looked better before. The picture on the right was them before, right?

Rose, I do think that you said the right thing. My DD used to ask me why I work out and I always say to be healthier, too. In fact, we talk about food as red (never should eat), yellow (ocassionally eat), and green (go for it) light (my kids are little). So, they will ask is this a green light food? They really get it that way.

Dallas
(formerly dmstefanos)
 
You did a nice job talking to you neice. Those ladies appear very unhealthy.

I am hoping to do some work with my daughter this summer. She is 13 yrs old, 5'8", and weighs 175 lbs. We have already been working with eating better...ex: cutting back to a serving of soda every other day. Now, I have to work on the exercise part. It is so hard for her during the school year because of school DEMANDS...and I mean demands! But we have to find a happy medium. I don't think my daughter will ever be built like me, she takes after her "hippy" aunt and grandma. I only want her to be healthy.

Kids seem to grow so fast these days! Shoot, I was well over age 13 before I cracked 100 lbs. Some girls have a hard time. Gotta love them through it!

LOL!
 
Show her this on Lindsay Lohan and what those poor celebrities think they have to do to themselves:

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/004161.html

Don't forget to tell your niece that you're not "dieting", you're just trying to eat healthier, feel better, increase the quantity and quality of your life. Stress the health aspects over the looks aspect.

Young people focus on looks so much because they don't really have any other identity. Talk with her about the things that she likes and that she's good at, and help her to feel good about her abilities and talents and personality. Help her to see that the way a person looks is only one aspect of her being, and that there are lots of other aspects to a human being.

Good luck!
 
In those pictures they were fake and recently made. I saw her last night on SNL and she still looks big on top besides the massive weight loss, but her boobs dropped a bit which is normal a couple of months after breast augmentation surgery. She definitely had something done to her lips also. I don't want my niece to think she has to do all that to be beautiful. She's already beautiful and she needs to lose weight in order to be healthier not for other reasons. Thank you everybody for your replies.
 

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